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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 3, 2011 16:50:47 GMT -5
Neil stood quietly holding Fynn, allowing her to cry the tears he knew she needed too. He gently ran his fingers through her hair placing gentle kisses against her head. His heart ached for her, but he knew that this had been a breakthrough for her.
"I'm sorry", she said raising her tear stained face to look at him.
"Nothing to apologize for," he smiled,"How are you feeling?"
She shook her head,"I don't know, everything is just a a huge jumble right now. Too many thoughts at once."
"You want to go down to the lobby and have a drink, relax a little?", he offered.
"Thanks, but I should get some sleep. I need to check on Mia too. Make sure eveything is okay."
"Call my room when you all wake up in the morning, we'll get some breakfast. Just you, me, and Mia."
"Alright," she smiled,"Good night."
"Good night", he gently placed a finger under her chin bringing his lips to hers.
Fynn carefully closed the door behind her as she entered the dark room. She turned on the bathroom light and tiptoed to Mia's bedside. She was curled up under her favorite blanket, a stuffed animal was tossed off to the side of the pillow,"I love you so much," she whispered kissing her cheek, pulling the blanket closer over her shoulders. She sifted quietly through her suitcase and went into the bathroom to change clothes. She thought about Neil and she readied for bed. Gentle, sweet, patient; simplistic words that could describe him, and yet they didn't seem to even measure up to how wonderful he had been all night. There was still so much to think about, especially with Mia. Not only with Mia, but she herself had to come to terms with the loss of Isaac. She sighed heavily as she climbed into the bed next to Mia. She waited for the sleep to over take her as the emotional exhaustion set it.
Fynn strolled through the park, it was familiar and yet not at the same time. It was a warm spring day, the sun splayed it's rays across the fresh green grass. She sat beneath a large tree, the sun filtering through its branches.
"You always loved the outdoors", came a voice next to her.
It was him, she would know his voice anywhere,"You know me better than anyone else."
"I miss you so much Fynn," Isaac said wrapping his arms around her.
"I miss you every moment of every day," she replied linking her fingers with his,"I feel so lost most of the time."
"I hate to see you hurting like you are. I know I have only been gone for a few months, but I think it's time you start to heal."
"I don't know if I want too," she looked into his hazel eyes,"It's how I keep you close to me."
"There is so much in store for you and for Mia," he cupped her face gently."It's okay for you to feel something again."
"Don't say that," she shook her head,"It's not right."
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 4, 2011 8:09:22 GMT -5
Ladies, you both gave good suggestions, but please know that since I started writing this it has been mapped out I appreciate & take all comments & suggestions into consideration. I have a wonderful, wonderful support system in all of you & I appreciate it more than you know. You all keep me writing
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 4, 2011 9:32:45 GMT -5
"Fish", Isaac smiled using the nickname that he had given her,"You can't hold onto me forever. You have to move forward, for you and for Mia."
"I don't want to let go Isaac," she said as tears came to her eyes,"If I let go of the hurt, it means I can't feel you anymore and that you are really gone."
"I will always be here Fynn, my love will always be with you. It just won't hurt like it does right now. You can wake up and be able to breathe easier," he kissed her softly,"You need to be at peace with this and so do I."
"Please don't go", she begged wrapping her arms around his neck. He was warm and real, she could feel the strength in his arms, but more she could feel the love and strength surrounding her like a warm blanket on a cold night.
"It's time to let go Fish," he took her arms from around his neck and gazed at her lovingly,"I will always be in here," he placed a hand over her heart.
"What about Mia?"
"I will be with her, she will see me in her dreams sometimes," he stopped and then smiled,"Neil is good for the both of you, he cares a great deal for you. I could see when he played with Mia tonight."
"You were there?"
He nodded,"For a bit, but when I saw the pain it caused you, I left. That is why I can't be here anymore."
"Neil was really good with her," she agreed,"I feel so guilty Isaac, to see her have fun without you. To know that I allowed him to kiss me."
"It's natural Fynn, but in time it will give way to the happiness that you deserve," he studied her face,"I'm so sorry for leaving you baby, for not being there to watch our daughter grow up. Just know that when the accident happened, the first thing that flashed in my mind were my girls."
"I was there with you, in the hospital room, holding your hand," she could feel her chest tighten with the memory,"I begged you to open your eyes, but you wouldn't. I knew you were gone, but I couldn't let them take you away."
"I knew you were there, but you're right. I was already gone, but I could feel your love and I knew it was okay."
"So this is goodbye", Fynn swiped at her eyes and then brought them level with his.
"There's no goodbye's", he smiled,"Only love, and I will carry that love with me and so will you."
"I love you Isaac", she said pressing her lips to his.
"I love you too Fish", he whispered.
She was alone now, her arms simply hugging herself. He was gone, and she was alone,"I'll always love you", she whispered turning to continue her stroll through the park.
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 7, 2011 16:41:08 GMT -5
Fynn woke slowly pressing her face against the cool, damp pillow. She ran her fingers over her face feeling the dried tears. He had been there in her dream, they had talked. Isaac wanted her to begin her healing process. He knew about Neil and yet said it was time for her to start moving forward. Her head swam recalling moments from the dream as she padded across the carpeted floor to the bathroom. The tiles were cold sending shivers up her spine as she turned the hot water on. She disrobed climbing in and allowing the water to flow over her. Turning her face into the steamy mist she cried once more. The tears were different, not the aching hurt and confusion of before, but now simply sadness that he had actually gone. She didn't feel him when she woke up, she couldn't sense him anymore. Isaac was at peace and now it was time for Fynn to piece herself back together and to start taking the steps necessary to carry on.
"Mommy!", Mia said excitedly as Fynn emerged from the bathroom.
"Morning honey", she smiled taking her daughter in her arms,"Did you have fun last night with Aunt Lauren and Keith?"
"Yep, Keith played hide and seek with me. He taught me some good hiding spots. We were hiding from Aunt Lauren."
"Which was a completely unfair match up," Lauren said from her bed pulling the covers away from her face.
"Were they too fast for you?', Fynn laughed.
"Just a little, plus Keith cheated when he gave Princess there a piggy back ride to base."
"Keith gave you a piggy back ride?",she looked at Mia,"That may have been a little unfair.
"It was funny", Mia said with a yawn.
"Let's get you a bath and then we are going to get breakfast with Neil."
"Yay!", the little girl clapped,"I like Neil, I beat him at that racing game."
"Breakfast with Neil huh?", Lauren followed them into the bathroom as Fynn got Mia ready for a bath.
"Yes, he asked me last night if the three of us, myself, him, and Mia could have breakfast together and I said okay."
"Fynnie, I'm proud of you!", Lauren smiled.
"Mi-pea, can you get yourself all soaped up?"
"Yes ma'am", she replied playing with a few items that her mother had put in the bath.
"Be right back," she motioned for Lauren to come outside the bathroom.
"What's up?", her sister looked at her.
"He kissed me last night."
"What!", she gasped,"Start talking!"
"It just sort of happened and I nearly blew it," she sighed,"But, he is, I don't know how to describe it."
"Ridiculously perfect", Lauren laughed,"for you anyway."
"He's very sweet, he and Mia had fun last night. I just want to take it slow, especially for Mia's sake. I don't want her to think I am trying to replace her father."
"Fynn, you're not replacing Isaac. Nothing will ever replace him for either one of you. But you're allowed to move on with your life and if being with Neil is a part of that moving on, then don't let anything stop you."
"Mommy, I'm all soaped up and have to rinse," Mia called from the bathroom.
"Coming baby", she replied," I dreamt about Isaac last night too."
"Really?", Lauren questioned.
"Yeah, I'll tell you once she's out of the bath," she went into the bathroom to help Mia finish up her bath. She wrapped her in a towel carrying her back into the room.
"Mommy", Mia said softly.
"What honey?', Fynn looked at her as she helped her pull on her jeans and a long sleeve shirt.
"I had a dream about daddy last night."
"You did? What kind of dream?", she looked to Lauren.
She sighed and shrugged her small shoulders,"It wasn't bad, he said he missed me and loved me. That I was being a big girl by being so good and helping you."
"Yes, baby, you are a big girl," she wrapped her in her arms kissing her cheek,"Did he say anything else?"
"He said to never forget that he loves me and that I have to promise not to have too many boyfriends. But I told him boys are icky."
Lauren and Fynn both laughed until tears clouded their eyes,"That's right sweetie, boys are icky."
"And mommy, he said that Neil likes you a lot and that it's okay that he does."
Fynn swallowed thickly and smiled at her daughter,"Thank you for sharng with me Mi-pea. I think it's okay that he does, but nothing is more important to me than you. You know that right?"
Mia smiled and nodded,"Can we get breakfast now? I'm hungry."
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Post by celticbear on Feb 7, 2011 22:11:16 GMT -5
I agree with CP! This Update was very Cute! and as the old saying goes *OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABIES* Love it how innocently Mia has hit the nail right on the head concerning her mother and Neil! LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING WHAT HAPPENS AT BREAKFEAST!
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 14, 2011 12:46:14 GMT -5
"Morning ladies," Neil said as Fynn and Mia walked out of their room.
"Good timing", Fynn said with a smile.
"I try," he laughed,"Did you have fun last night Mia?", he squatted down to be eye level.
"Yep", she said,"Me, Aunt Lauren and Keith played hide and seek. Me and Keith won. We wanted to have some candy, but Aunt Lauren wouldn't let us."
"Maybe we can get some today," he said quietly,"don't tell your mom."
"I heard that,"Fynn said as he stood up.
"Heard what?", he smiled innocently.
"You attempting to give my daughter sweets."
"Just making nice," he said taking her hand in his.
"No," she mouthed to him gesturing to Mia as she pulled her hand away.
"Sorry," he said showing his hands into his pockets,"What are you gals in the mood for?"
"I'm famished, so I don't care,"Fynn said,"What about you Mi-pea?"
"Don't know," she shrugged pushing the button on the elevator,"I like pancakes."
"I like the sound of that,"Neil said.
"I thought we could take my car,"Fynn said pushing the button for the garage level,"Save money on a taxi."
"I'm fine with that," he said,"So pancakes, I'm sure we can find those somewhere."
"Careful, she will talk you into buying a pony if possible," Fynn kissed the top of her daughter's head.
"Will not," Mia defended putting her small hands on her hips,"I don't want a pony anymore."
"Well, that's a relief," Neil laughed. The three made their way to the car in the garage,"Need help getting her in?"
"Nope, we have this down, don't we?"
"Mommy says I have to sit in this seat for my safety."
"She's right," Neil said,"I was going to sit there, but I figured it would be better for you."
"You're too big," she giggled.
"And here I am always the shorter one, but you got me beat," he laughed at her giggles that bubbled over.
"Let's get some food," Fynn pulled the car out the parking garage,"What sounds good to you two, we have Denny's, I-Hop, and a waffle house near by."
"I-Hop!", Mia cheered.
"Guess that means I-Hop", Neil said with a smile,"Is the food there any good?", he turned in his seat to look at Mia.
She nodded with a smile,"They have smiley face pancakes and they are really yummy!"
"Think I could get them even though I'm older than you?"
"I think I have more than one five year old on my hands," Fynn laughed.
"Maybe they will, you have to ask," Mia said matter of factly.
"I'll be sure too," Neil said grinning at Fynn who shook her head even while smiling.
They pulled into the parking lot of the small, blue roofed restaurant. It was bustling for being only 9:30 in the morning. Fynn unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out only to be met by Neil at the back of the car,"Morning," he said kissing her.
"Neil," she pulled back from him,"I don't want Mia to see us."
"I know, but I just wanted to say good morning," he smiled sweetly.
"We need to talk," she gave in,"Not in a bad way, but need to talk."
"You know I'm all ears whenever you want," he stepped to the side allowing her to help Mia out of the car.
"Come on Neil!", Mia grabbed his hand as they walked towards the restaurant. Fynn watched and smiled at Mia's excitment. She watched the two babble away at eachother discussing what to eat and what sounded good.
"Slowly," she said to herself,"Slowly."
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 21, 2011 10:31:01 GMT -5
"I brought my portfolio for you to see," Fynn said as she settled Mia with crayons and a cup of orange juice.
"Fantastic," Neil said taking the book she offered. He flipped through the photos slowly. There were pictures of Mia, nature shots of trees, flowers, and more plant life. The photo that caught his eye was a black and white photo of Mia holding a rose in her hand, the background was slightly blur, but Mia, the rose & the casket were in focus. He knew this must have been from Isaac's funeral. There was an innocense and confusion in her face, as if she was not sure what she was doing or why. The wind had caught her hair and it looked in motion as her arm was reaching to place the rose on the coffin. The photo caused him to swallow a lump that had unexpectedly formed,"You do beautiful work," he said closing the book.
"Thanks," she smiled,"I had stopped working for a bit, but I have been getting back into the mode lately."
"You definitely have an ability to capture emotion and the way light hits your subject. Really brings it to life."
"Now you're being nice," she laughed.
"Trust me, if I wasn't impressed I would let you know."
"I appreciate honesty," she said as a server approached to take their order,"If you're interested I can do some shots today and have them to you tomorrow."
"My mommy is really good at taking pitctures," Mia added looking up from her coloring.
Neil laughed,"She likes ot take pictures of you. You seem to be photogenic."
"Sometimes, but other times I don't."
"She tolerates me," Fynn said kissing her daughter on the forehead.
"Mia, would it be okay if I asked your mom to take some pictures for me?", Neil asked.
Mia looked at him thoughtfully for a moment,"I guess so," she shrugged and went back to her coloring.
"Seems good to me," he gave Fynn a wide smile.
"I'll check with Lauren and see if she will keep an eye on Mia while we do some work." They chatted until the server brought their food. Fynn took Mia's plate to help her cut into the pancakes.
Neil watched as Fynn slipped easily from talking business into being a mother. Asking Mia what she needed, how she wanted her food cut. it was a seamless transition that was amazing to him. He knew he was falling harder and faster than he should. He knew that the more time he spent with Fynn the more he would love her. Love? He was barely able to admit something so deep to himself. He pushed his meandering thoughts away and began to eat his own breakfast.
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 23, 2011 9:40:46 GMT -5
"Fynn, Keith and I are going to spend the day together. Do some shopping and get lunch," Lauren said.
"Laur, I wouldn't ask but this a huge job opportunity," Fynn tried to reason with her sister.
"And spending time with Neil just adds to that little opportunity?"
"It's not about that and you know it," she knew she was trying to convince herself as much as her sister and she hated that part of it,"If he likes what I do today, it could lead to something bigger. I need this, please Lauren."
Lauren hung her head and sighed,"Fine, how long do you need?"
"Only two maybe three hours, this isn't a full on shoot. It's long enough for us to get a good location and just do a few shots. So you'll watch her?"
"Of course I will," Lauren said,"Keith and I can take her with us to do some shopping."
"She doesn't need anything," she smiled.
"What are aunts and their boyfriends for?", she laughed.
Fynn raised her eyebrows,"Boyfriend?"
"Yeah," Lauren felt herself blush,"We made it official last night after little one was asleep."
"I'm so thrilled for you Laur, I really am," she hugged her.
"Me too," she laughed,"Now get your stuff together and go take some pictures."
"Okay," Fynn smiled as she went to gather up her camera bag and say bye to Mia.
"Do you have to go Mommy?", She looked up from the dolls she was playing with on the bed.
"It'll just be for a little while honey," she knelt next to her,"Are you okay with that?"
Mia nodded and turned her attention back to her dolls.
"Mi-pea, you can tell mommy if something is wrong," she gently pulled her hair away from her face.
"Just you went with Neil last night too."
Fynn swallowed hard attempting to find the right words to say to her five year old,"I know I did baby, but this is for work. Remember you said it would be okay if I took some pictures for him?"
"I don't want you to go," she threw her arms around her mother's neck.
"Mia, honey," she said softly rocking her back and forth.
"What if you don't come back like daddy?"
Fynn squeezed her eyes tightly shut, this was a new fear that Mia had never expressed. The morning that Isaac had left for work, he had kissed both of them goodbye and promised Mia a playdate when he got home and that promise had been left unkept,"Honey, I am coming back, I promise you."
"But, daddy had promised too remember?", she looked at her mother with tears in her eyes.
"I do remember baby," she kissed her cheek,"Daddy had an accident and that is why he didn't come home."
"Maybe you will have an accident too."
"I won't my love", she held her tightly,"I won't," how did she know she wouldn't? Isn't that why they called them accidents? She sighed as Mia's warm tears soaked her shoulder,"Mia, look at me," she said softly as the caramel eyes met hers,"Aunt Lauren has a cell phone right?"
"Yes," she replied.
"You guys are going to go shopping today. Whenever you want to call me, ask Aunt Lauren for her phone. I promise you I will answer. That way you will know that I'm okay. Does that sound like a good idea?"
Mia thought for a moment and then nodded,"I can call you whenever I want?"
"Any time at all," she smiled.
"Mia, I will keep the phone in my pocket and you just let me know when you want to call mommy okay?", Lauren said sitting on the bed.
"Okay", she looked form her mom to her aunt,"What are we going shopping for?"
"Just stuff," Lauren gave her wink that caused her to giggle.
"There's my smile I love," Fynn kissed her cheek and hugged her"I love you baby girl, be good."
"We'll be fine", Lauren said as Mia sat in her lap accepting a departing kiss from her mother.
Fynn took her bags and made her way out to the car and loaded them in. She would have a few minutes before Neil came out. She used this time to let her own tears fall. They fell for her daughter and the fear and confusion she must feel anytime that she was left without her mother. For the fact that Isaac had made a small promise, but that promise would be the one thing that Mia always remembered. He made a promise and never came home. She slumped forward in the drivers seat and rested her head against the cool steering wheel, taking deep breaths.She thought of her dream the night before and of Isaac telling her that Neil would be good for she and Mia. How could he be good if them spending time together caused Mia any pain?
"Hey there," Neil called noticing Fynn in the car.
"Hey," she smiled quickly.
"Everything okay?", he asked climbing in the passenger seat.
"Yep, perfectly fine," she started the car.
"You've been crying Fynn," he said noticing the streaks from the tears.
"It's nothing, I'm fine."
"It's not fine, what's going on?", he pressed, but gently.
Fynn sighed,"I am having to learn how to deal with my daughter and the effects of her father's death. Today she didn't want me to leave because she was scared I wouldn't come back. Yesterday she asked to see her father. I don't know what to say to her sometimes."
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Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 23, 2011 12:19:09 GMT -5
"You are doing everything you can Fynn," he took her hand making small circles with his thumb,"Mia is going to be confused for a while, but having a mother that will talk to her honestly and be there for her will be the best thing."
"I know, I just want to make sure that I am doing right by her and that includes you and me."
"I'm not rushingor pushing anything Fynn," he said,"I care about both you and Mia. I would never do anything to confuse her or make things harder."
"Neil, just need for this to be slow," she said looking at him,"I still miss Isaac, I'm not even sure how I have gotten through these last months without him. I don't know how I even go through a day at times."
"Completely understandable," he agreed,"Just don't shut me out Fynn, first and foremost I am your friend. If that's all you need for right now, then that's what I'll be."
"Thank you," she said as she pulled the car into a parking spot of a nature path and hiking area. She climbed out and gathered a few things from the back seat.
"Where shall we start?", Neil asked taking his guitar from its soft case.
"This is sort of informal," Fynn laughed,"Normally I have scouted a location and know the set up. So, since it is informal, where would you like to start?"
"How about we just start walking on the path and if you see a shot or want me to stop, just tell me?"
She nodded and put her camera around her neck as they began a walk down the path and into the woods. She let him be slightly ahead of her as she found different angles and the way the guitar was slung across his back," Why don't you sit and play something?"
"Right here?", he pointed to the ground beneath a large tree.
"Is that a problem?", she laughed.
"No, just never been asked to play sitting under a tree," he smiled taking his guitar in his lap. He strummed chords to a song that he knew Fynn would know,"When the waves are crashing down, pulling you to sorrow. I will sail you back to shore, when there are no more heroes."
Fynn tried to ignore the lyrics he sang, she concentrated on the way the light fell on him, the way it glinted off the wood finish of the acoustic guitar. She watched as he closed his eyes, finding the notes and conveying the emotion of the song, the only word she could find to use was beautiful. His hands naturally found the chords without looking, his voice was as pure as a fresh spring rain that gently fell, scattering its gentle drops, making the flowers sparkle as though illuminated. His head was bowed as if in prayer to something unknown to anyone but him. She stopped, taking a deep breath as he continued to sing.
"And through it all, and through it all. When you're tired and you stumble, I will carry you. When starlight falls, my love will guide you home. You'll never be alone........when there are no more heroes," he finished strumming the last chord lightly, he looked up at her with a smile," Told you I was a West Life fan."
"Yeah, you did," she said stumbling over her words,"I got quite a few good ones, shots I mean."
"Great," he said standing up and brushing himself off,"Lunch sound good?"
"Yeah....ummmm....great,"Fynn said brushing her hair away from her face.
"You okay?", he studied her flushed face.
"Fine," she answered removing her camera from her neck. Before she could talk herself out of it, she moved quickly to stand in front of him,"Why that song?"
Neil carefully laid the guitar on the ground next to him,"I knew it would be one that you know," he gently placed his hands on her arms.
"There is more in those lyrics Neil," Fynn said as they gazed at each other.
"There is, but you're not ready for that Fynn and that's okay. When you're ready, we'll talk about it."
Without thinking Fynn quickly drew him to her pressing her lips against his. He stumbled against her reeling from the fact of her bold, fast move. His hands quickly found their way into her hair and to her face. Her hands caressed the small hairs at the back of his back to his chest. They both stepped back from each other taking in quidck gulps of air,"I'm sorry," Fynn said softly.
"For what?", he laughed.
"For that," she smiled,"I'm not sure what came over me."
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Post by celticbear on Feb 23, 2011 22:21:42 GMT -5
Fall! I still feel sorry for Mia! But the phone Idea was pure genius! Glad Keith and Lauren made it official! Love the whole Park scene between Neil and Fynn! WAY TO GO FYNN FOR TAKING THE FIRST STEP AND KISSING NEIL! UPDATE SOON! PLEASE!
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Post by laurenne on Feb 24, 2011 0:25:40 GMT -5
I loved the updates. Update soon, please.
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Post by ladylightning on Feb 24, 2011 8:35:57 GMT -5
So good!! Can't wait for the next update!
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Post by CelticPrincess24 on Feb 24, 2011 22:41:12 GMT -5
aww poor mia... thats a horrible feeling! Please update soon!
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puppylovegirl95
Wicked Fan
Lady of the Court
I don't have words for what I'm feeling right now. </3
Posts: 80
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Post by puppylovegirl95 on Feb 25, 2011 19:14:22 GMT -5
aww poor Mia! but good idea with the phone! and way to go Fynn for finally making the first move! please update soon, its a great story
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Post by Myna Chan on Feb 26, 2011 1:18:43 GMT -5
Awwww....poor Mia!!! Yay for Fynn kissing Neil!! xD
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