Post by GA- Powder Monkey to the Capn on Apr 24, 2010 18:36:05 GMT -5
*okay, now before I begin, i want to make sure all of you readers know i do not own Queen. I'm just a fan, especially of this song. If you do not know this song, go and look up Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen on Youtube. It is a truly brilliant song and is definitely worth your time. Now, for those of you who do love this song, please enjoy this comedic, Thunder-fied interpretation of this beloved classic.
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Bohemian Celtic Rhapsody
“Is this the real life? Is this fantasy?” These were the thoughts running through young Damian Mcginty’s mind. He felt like he was caught in a landslide, with no escape from reality. He opened his eyes, and looked up to the skies to see if he could see and he cried “I’m just a poor boy! I need no sympathy!” Because, you see, this young lad was, unlike his groupies, easy come, easy go. Unfortunately, Paul was a little high, George a little low. Luckily, any way the wind blew, it didn’t really matter to him. To him.
Wish I could say the same for Keith. Poor kid was mopin’ around a pub in Derry, all depressed. Ryan came up to him and asked him what was wrong. Keith looked Ryan dead in the eye, his own swimming with sadness as he said with equal sorrow “Momma, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger, now he’s dead.” Ryan’s eyes went wide as Keith suddenly lifted his head towards the ceiling and seemed to say mostly to himself, “Momma, life had just begun. But now I’ve got it all thrown away!” Keith now leapt off the barstool and, clenching his fists together, cried “Mamma, ohhh. Didn’t mean to make you cry! If, I’m not back again this time tomorrow-“ he put one hand on his chest, and held the other out in front of him in a poet’s stance and cried quite epically as a random spotlight shone on him in the now dim pub “Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters!” Keith began to walk out of the pub, and Ryan immediately vaulted himself up out of his own barstool and stepped towards Keith. Keith raised a hand as if to stop Ryan, who did stop, and Keith said not looking at him and he said it like some actor from a bad soap opera “Too late, my time has come.” This sent shivers down Ryan’s spine as Keith continued. “My body’s aching all the time. Goodbye everybody. I’ve got to go. Got to Leave you all behind and face the truth.” “Mamma,ooohhh” Keith said with Ryan softly saying in the background “Anyway the wind blows” “I don’t wanna die! Sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all!” Suddenly, a goregeous, glossy red electric guitar appears in Keith’s hands and he begins rocking and jamming out on it in an awesome solo. When he finished, he walked out the door of the pub, and suddenly the world went black.
The world comes back into focus, this time, though, it’s the Celtic Thunder It’s Entertainment stage. Paul is alone on the stage, dressed up for doo wacka doo. Or was he really alone? For there, on the stage floor, was a shadow. Paul was looking at the shadow, his swanky eyes wide with fear as he whispered “I see a little silhuetto of a man.” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Neil and Ryan and Keith all popped out, wearing black and white spandex jumpsuits and said in unison “Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the fandango.” And then George jumped out in a suit and tie, along with Damian, and they all began yelling in unison “Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me!”
Paul, scared half to death at this point squeaks out randomly “Galileo!” George replied from behind a bench in a low voice “Galileo!” Paul squeaked in reply “Galileo!” George sort of growled in reply “Galileo” Paul finally got all of his guts together and replied “Galileo Figaro!” All of the other guys said in unison “Magnifico-o-o!” Damian then stepped out onto center stage and whined “I’m just a poor boy nobody loves me.” Then suddenly, as if by some magical force from beyond, all the rest of the guys, who had surrounded Damian, were now stretched to where they were really tall and they began to yell while pointing at him “He's just a poor boy from a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!”
Little Damian, who suddenly looked YEARS younger looked up at his companions and began begging meekly “Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?” The other four began to look extremely ticked off as they jabbed their fingers at him and cried “Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!” Out of nowhere, Dusty came out of the blue and cried “Let him go!” The guys, looked at Dusty and said “Bismillah! We will not let you go!” “Let him go!” “Bismillah! We will not let you go!” Damian cried “Let me go!” as the guys turned to face him once more and said”Will not let you go!” “Let me go!” “Will not let you go! Never, Never, Never, Never.” Damian finally lifted his head towards the sky (well, ceiling) and cried “Let me go, o, o, o, o!” The guys started advancing menacingly on him and said “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”
Damian, who’s back was to the edge of the stage, saw Sharon come in and pointed to her, yelling “Oh, Mama Mia, Mama Mia!” All the guys turned to face Sharon, while Damian turned tail and ran. They all leapt off the stage and dropped onto their knees in front an extremely freaked Sharon and cried “Mama Mia let me go!” Sharon raised an eyebrow and said “I’m not Mama Mia. I’m Sharon.” But the lads refused to listen as they all chorused “Beezlebub has the devil put aside-” and Ryan jumped up and said “for me!” Keith jumped up next and said “For me!” Paul sprang up from his position and cried, his voice cracking up an octave due to his desperation to be free “For meeeeeeeee!” Sharon, who was now extremely angry, grabbed Keith by the ear with one hand, and Ryan and Paul’s shirt collars and screamed in frustration “ALRIGHT, THAT’S IT! NO GUINNESS OR ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES FOR A WEEK! IN FACT, I’M TAKING YOU ALL TO REHAB!” And with that, Sharon dragged the four helpless lads of to rehab, whimpering all the way. When they had all left the theater, Neil jumped out from behind the stage with a bottle of Guinness in his hand and clicked his heels, shouting “AYYEEE!!! FREE AT LAST!!” and popped the top off of the Guinness. Just as he pressed the bottle to his lips, though, Sharon came bursting through the door, yanked the bottle out of his hands and threw it away, handcuffed his hands with a pair of random bright, neon pink and green handcuffs and screeched at him “AND YOU TOO, LITTLE MISTER!” and she, too, dragged him out the door by the ear. When Sharon stopped to open the door, Neil muttered “Aww, shite.” before he was pulled out to join his mates at rehab. Then, the world suddenly went mysteriously black again.
The world once again came back into focus. Well, somewhat. I mean, if you consider the darkness opening up to a large foggy stage with strobe lights flashing and guitars wailing. Keith was up on stage in a Kiss costume, his face painted like Gene Simmons, banging his head and rippin on his sleek, black, electric guitar. Neil was dressed in a similar fashion to Keith and was tearin up the drums. Ryan was standing center stage, holding a microphone that had spikes on it. He wore black leather pants, no shirt, his body painted like a Celtic warrior’s, but it looked very heavy metal when combined with the surroundings. He was rocking out, singing angrily into the microphone “So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die?” All of a sudden, Julianne appeared out of nowhere and Zara appeared from out of nowhere, and the two women looked at each other, both looking angry. Then, Zara turned to Ryan, gave him this look, and walked out. Julianne also looked at Ryan, her face filled with sorrow and disbelief and she, too, walked out. Ryan called after her “Oh, baby! Can’t do this to me, baby!” Keith, who was getting a little TOO into his heavy metal, guitar mantra, stopped strumming, lifted the guitar over his head, and smashed it on the stage. Unfortunately, it hit one of the stage lights, causing it to burst into flame. It wasn’t long before half of the stage was engulfed in flame. Horrified, Ryan turned to Keith and yelled “Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!” Keith was the first to flee the scene, screaming because his hair had caught on fire. Ryan, being the macho-hero hero he is, decided to stay and wait until everyone left safely, thinking that this could get him a raise, plus dibs on the next movie. He turned to see where Neil was, and found a most appalling sight. Neil was staring at one of the flames, totally enraptured by its fiery flaming awesomeness. “OOH, pretty fire!” he cooed as he stood and stared at it. “Cmon Neil, we gotta get outta here!” But Ryan’s words were lost as a sudden explosion resounded through the concert hall. Neil, having not moved an inch, just kept standing there, totally captivated by the flaming amp. Ryan, totally freaked by the flames roaring in his ears and the world crashing down around him, leaped madly over the burning instruments over to Neil, grabbed him by the arm, and yanked him away and took off towards the exit. Unfortunately in his epic rescue attempt, while he did jump over all the flames, he consequently dragged Neil through them. The one sound that could be heard over the roar of the fire was Neil crying “OWWWW!!!!! YIKES!!! WATCH IT!!!!! THAT BUUURNS!!!! OUCH, THAT WAS MY ARSE!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWW!!!!!” and various other howls and shrieks and cries of pure agony and torture as poor Neil was drug mercilessly through what basically would be as close to heck as that boy would ever get. Finally, a seemingly heroic Ryan and an extra char grilled Neil managed to leap to the safety of the outside world. And as the smoke filled the room, the world once again became utter darkness.
The world once again was back in focus. Okay, I lied, it was still pitch black. Well, except for the lone figure of Keith Harkin, standing in a single spotlight, playing the guitar. While he played, the guys, invisible to the eye, were chorusing “Oooooooh, yeah. Ooooooh, yeah” Then, when they finished their chorus, Keith faded to black, and Damian stepped forward out of the swallowing darkness and into a lonely spotlight. “Nothing really matters, anyone can see. Nothing really matters, to meeeeeee.” While Damian stood in the spotlight, looking serious, a voice from the darkness whispered “Liar!” Keith’s. A loud smack was heard as a second voice said “Shut Up fool!” Ryan’s. “What about me? Don’t I matter to you, Damo? I thought we were bffls! We went shopping and played PS3 and hung out and oh!” Paul’s. a loud sniffle was heard before he shouted “EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG!!!!!!” Another loud smack and a sharp cry of pain was heard as Ryan smacked Paul and hissed “Shut up, you eejit! You’ve gone and ruined the whole dang illusion!” “Well, it’s not my fault that Damian is an insensitive little twit! I mean, if nothing really matters to him, then I guess I don’t matter then. I guess I matter to no one!!!” Ryan smacked Paul again and said “Oh stop being such a Drama Queen. Be serious here. This is our part.” By now, the mysterious piano had died away, and the other four guys emerged from the darkness, saying softly “Anyway the wind-” “BLOOOOOOOOWS!!!!” Paul screeched as he tripped into Ryan, who fell onto Damian, who fell onto Keith, who fell to the ground. George, who came in a little late, stepped into the now open spotlight, shrugged, and slowly bowed his head. Then, out of the blue, a chargrilled neil came running through, still on fire around his rear-end area “MY BUTT’S ON FIRE, MY BUTT’S ON FIRE!!!!” And then the world faded to black for the last time.
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Bohemian Celtic Rhapsody
“Is this the real life? Is this fantasy?” These were the thoughts running through young Damian Mcginty’s mind. He felt like he was caught in a landslide, with no escape from reality. He opened his eyes, and looked up to the skies to see if he could see and he cried “I’m just a poor boy! I need no sympathy!” Because, you see, this young lad was, unlike his groupies, easy come, easy go. Unfortunately, Paul was a little high, George a little low. Luckily, any way the wind blew, it didn’t really matter to him. To him.
Wish I could say the same for Keith. Poor kid was mopin’ around a pub in Derry, all depressed. Ryan came up to him and asked him what was wrong. Keith looked Ryan dead in the eye, his own swimming with sadness as he said with equal sorrow “Momma, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger, now he’s dead.” Ryan’s eyes went wide as Keith suddenly lifted his head towards the ceiling and seemed to say mostly to himself, “Momma, life had just begun. But now I’ve got it all thrown away!” Keith now leapt off the barstool and, clenching his fists together, cried “Mamma, ohhh. Didn’t mean to make you cry! If, I’m not back again this time tomorrow-“ he put one hand on his chest, and held the other out in front of him in a poet’s stance and cried quite epically as a random spotlight shone on him in the now dim pub “Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters!” Keith began to walk out of the pub, and Ryan immediately vaulted himself up out of his own barstool and stepped towards Keith. Keith raised a hand as if to stop Ryan, who did stop, and Keith said not looking at him and he said it like some actor from a bad soap opera “Too late, my time has come.” This sent shivers down Ryan’s spine as Keith continued. “My body’s aching all the time. Goodbye everybody. I’ve got to go. Got to Leave you all behind and face the truth.” “Mamma,ooohhh” Keith said with Ryan softly saying in the background “Anyway the wind blows” “I don’t wanna die! Sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all!” Suddenly, a goregeous, glossy red electric guitar appears in Keith’s hands and he begins rocking and jamming out on it in an awesome solo. When he finished, he walked out the door of the pub, and suddenly the world went black.
The world comes back into focus, this time, though, it’s the Celtic Thunder It’s Entertainment stage. Paul is alone on the stage, dressed up for doo wacka doo. Or was he really alone? For there, on the stage floor, was a shadow. Paul was looking at the shadow, his swanky eyes wide with fear as he whispered “I see a little silhuetto of a man.” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Neil and Ryan and Keith all popped out, wearing black and white spandex jumpsuits and said in unison “Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the fandango.” And then George jumped out in a suit and tie, along with Damian, and they all began yelling in unison “Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me!”
Paul, scared half to death at this point squeaks out randomly “Galileo!” George replied from behind a bench in a low voice “Galileo!” Paul squeaked in reply “Galileo!” George sort of growled in reply “Galileo” Paul finally got all of his guts together and replied “Galileo Figaro!” All of the other guys said in unison “Magnifico-o-o!” Damian then stepped out onto center stage and whined “I’m just a poor boy nobody loves me.” Then suddenly, as if by some magical force from beyond, all the rest of the guys, who had surrounded Damian, were now stretched to where they were really tall and they began to yell while pointing at him “He's just a poor boy from a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!”
Little Damian, who suddenly looked YEARS younger looked up at his companions and began begging meekly “Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?” The other four began to look extremely ticked off as they jabbed their fingers at him and cried “Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!” Out of nowhere, Dusty came out of the blue and cried “Let him go!” The guys, looked at Dusty and said “Bismillah! We will not let you go!” “Let him go!” “Bismillah! We will not let you go!” Damian cried “Let me go!” as the guys turned to face him once more and said”Will not let you go!” “Let me go!” “Will not let you go! Never, Never, Never, Never.” Damian finally lifted his head towards the sky (well, ceiling) and cried “Let me go, o, o, o, o!” The guys started advancing menacingly on him and said “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”
Damian, who’s back was to the edge of the stage, saw Sharon come in and pointed to her, yelling “Oh, Mama Mia, Mama Mia!” All the guys turned to face Sharon, while Damian turned tail and ran. They all leapt off the stage and dropped onto their knees in front an extremely freaked Sharon and cried “Mama Mia let me go!” Sharon raised an eyebrow and said “I’m not Mama Mia. I’m Sharon.” But the lads refused to listen as they all chorused “Beezlebub has the devil put aside-” and Ryan jumped up and said “for me!” Keith jumped up next and said “For me!” Paul sprang up from his position and cried, his voice cracking up an octave due to his desperation to be free “For meeeeeeeee!” Sharon, who was now extremely angry, grabbed Keith by the ear with one hand, and Ryan and Paul’s shirt collars and screamed in frustration “ALRIGHT, THAT’S IT! NO GUINNESS OR ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES FOR A WEEK! IN FACT, I’M TAKING YOU ALL TO REHAB!” And with that, Sharon dragged the four helpless lads of to rehab, whimpering all the way. When they had all left the theater, Neil jumped out from behind the stage with a bottle of Guinness in his hand and clicked his heels, shouting “AYYEEE!!! FREE AT LAST!!” and popped the top off of the Guinness. Just as he pressed the bottle to his lips, though, Sharon came bursting through the door, yanked the bottle out of his hands and threw it away, handcuffed his hands with a pair of random bright, neon pink and green handcuffs and screeched at him “AND YOU TOO, LITTLE MISTER!” and she, too, dragged him out the door by the ear. When Sharon stopped to open the door, Neil muttered “Aww, shite.” before he was pulled out to join his mates at rehab. Then, the world suddenly went mysteriously black again.
The world once again came back into focus. Well, somewhat. I mean, if you consider the darkness opening up to a large foggy stage with strobe lights flashing and guitars wailing. Keith was up on stage in a Kiss costume, his face painted like Gene Simmons, banging his head and rippin on his sleek, black, electric guitar. Neil was dressed in a similar fashion to Keith and was tearin up the drums. Ryan was standing center stage, holding a microphone that had spikes on it. He wore black leather pants, no shirt, his body painted like a Celtic warrior’s, but it looked very heavy metal when combined with the surroundings. He was rocking out, singing angrily into the microphone “So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die?” All of a sudden, Julianne appeared out of nowhere and Zara appeared from out of nowhere, and the two women looked at each other, both looking angry. Then, Zara turned to Ryan, gave him this look, and walked out. Julianne also looked at Ryan, her face filled with sorrow and disbelief and she, too, walked out. Ryan called after her “Oh, baby! Can’t do this to me, baby!” Keith, who was getting a little TOO into his heavy metal, guitar mantra, stopped strumming, lifted the guitar over his head, and smashed it on the stage. Unfortunately, it hit one of the stage lights, causing it to burst into flame. It wasn’t long before half of the stage was engulfed in flame. Horrified, Ryan turned to Keith and yelled “Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!” Keith was the first to flee the scene, screaming because his hair had caught on fire. Ryan, being the macho-hero hero he is, decided to stay and wait until everyone left safely, thinking that this could get him a raise, plus dibs on the next movie. He turned to see where Neil was, and found a most appalling sight. Neil was staring at one of the flames, totally enraptured by its fiery flaming awesomeness. “OOH, pretty fire!” he cooed as he stood and stared at it. “Cmon Neil, we gotta get outta here!” But Ryan’s words were lost as a sudden explosion resounded through the concert hall. Neil, having not moved an inch, just kept standing there, totally captivated by the flaming amp. Ryan, totally freaked by the flames roaring in his ears and the world crashing down around him, leaped madly over the burning instruments over to Neil, grabbed him by the arm, and yanked him away and took off towards the exit. Unfortunately in his epic rescue attempt, while he did jump over all the flames, he consequently dragged Neil through them. The one sound that could be heard over the roar of the fire was Neil crying “OWWWW!!!!! YIKES!!! WATCH IT!!!!! THAT BUUURNS!!!! OUCH, THAT WAS MY ARSE!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWW!!!!!” and various other howls and shrieks and cries of pure agony and torture as poor Neil was drug mercilessly through what basically would be as close to heck as that boy would ever get. Finally, a seemingly heroic Ryan and an extra char grilled Neil managed to leap to the safety of the outside world. And as the smoke filled the room, the world once again became utter darkness.
The world once again was back in focus. Okay, I lied, it was still pitch black. Well, except for the lone figure of Keith Harkin, standing in a single spotlight, playing the guitar. While he played, the guys, invisible to the eye, were chorusing “Oooooooh, yeah. Ooooooh, yeah” Then, when they finished their chorus, Keith faded to black, and Damian stepped forward out of the swallowing darkness and into a lonely spotlight. “Nothing really matters, anyone can see. Nothing really matters, to meeeeeee.” While Damian stood in the spotlight, looking serious, a voice from the darkness whispered “Liar!” Keith’s. A loud smack was heard as a second voice said “Shut Up fool!” Ryan’s. “What about me? Don’t I matter to you, Damo? I thought we were bffls! We went shopping and played PS3 and hung out and oh!” Paul’s. a loud sniffle was heard before he shouted “EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG!!!!!!” Another loud smack and a sharp cry of pain was heard as Ryan smacked Paul and hissed “Shut up, you eejit! You’ve gone and ruined the whole dang illusion!” “Well, it’s not my fault that Damian is an insensitive little twit! I mean, if nothing really matters to him, then I guess I don’t matter then. I guess I matter to no one!!!” Ryan smacked Paul again and said “Oh stop being such a Drama Queen. Be serious here. This is our part.” By now, the mysterious piano had died away, and the other four guys emerged from the darkness, saying softly “Anyway the wind-” “BLOOOOOOOOWS!!!!” Paul screeched as he tripped into Ryan, who fell onto Damian, who fell onto Keith, who fell to the ground. George, who came in a little late, stepped into the now open spotlight, shrugged, and slowly bowed his head. Then, out of the blue, a chargrilled neil came running through, still on fire around his rear-end area “MY BUTT’S ON FIRE, MY BUTT’S ON FIRE!!!!” And then the world faded to black for the last time.