your wish is my command...Chapter 22
Two days later, I still had not told Damian that I was planning to leave. I had already checked for the next flight to New York, with a connecting flight to the airport close to home, and it was coming up soon, about a week or so away. I would be a difficult conversation to have, but I would have to have it sometime.
Meanwhile, I continued to stay at Keith’s, and Damian’s sister thankfully kept our secret from their mother.
I had been sitting on the couch that morning in my pajamas, sheets from my makeshift bed already folded, pondering how I would start telling Damian that, despite all the wonderful romantic times we’ve had while I was in Ireland, I would soon be leaving him to go back home…so naturally, I had some work to do. I repeated my words from a few days ago in my mind,
Damian, these past few weeks have been remarkable. I love you, and I’ve loved being here with you, but we both know that my trip couldn’t last forever. As much as I want to stay, I need to go home soon.Could I actually bring myself to do it, to say goodbye to beautiful Ireland and to the man I loved? It was something I hoped never to find out, but something I knew I must.
I was just in the middle of running through my mini speech again when there was a knock on the door. I took one look at myself with tangled hair, PJs still on, teeth not brushed, and totally taken off guard, and wimped out of answering the door.
“I’ll get it,” Keith said easily, leaving his breakfast on the table and opening the door. “Hey, Damian,” he greeted the visitor, who was obviously Damian.
“Hey,” Damian replied. “Hi,” he said to me.
“Oh…hey.” It was a little awkward for me to be seen when I had just woken up and looked so messy and unattractive. “You’re here early!”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, swooping down to give me a quick kiss, apparently unfazed by my appearance. “My mum’s staying home today, and I don’t want to make her suspicious by being out of the house all day again.”
My face fell, and I think he noticed. What? No Damian all day?
“So, what are you doing here?”
“Why? Is it so wrong for me to want to come over?” he teased, and we both laughed once. “Actually, I’m here to tell you that I made dinner reservations for us. We’re goin’ out tonight!”
His enthusiasm was so cute; mine was kind of depressing, seeing as I had not fully woken up yet and that I knew what we would have to talk about over dinner. “Where to?”
“Nothing fancy,” Damian answered quickly. “Just some nice Italian place. You know, I just figured it would be just the two of us, over a nice dinner… Is that good?”
He must have noticed my lack of enthusiasm and nonresponsive attitude, and I quickly set out to making him feel better. “Yeah!” I said brightly. “Yeah, it sounds great. What time?”
“Our reservations are for seven, so I’ll pick you up around six thirty,” he said slowly, still suspicious of my weary voice.
“Okay, I’ll be ready.” I was genuinely excited now; his presence made me feel better, about dinner and about the whole day, even if it was without him. “Why are you up so early?” I asked, changing the subject. It was barely eight o’clock, and he usually didn’t wake up until after nine.
“Like I said, my mom,” he explained, standing up from the couch, where he had been sitting next to me. “She said she needs me to go with her to finalize some things for school, and I need to pick my classes, and sign some papers…you know, all the boring stuff.”
“Ugh,” I agreed, “That sounds almost as bad as being stuck here with nothing to do.”
“Yeah, well, we all have our own problems,” he joked, turning to leave. “You at least have a TV here in front of you…I just have school!” I pretended to shudder, and bade him farewell with a quick kiss.
“See you tonight,” Damian said.
“I can’t wait,” I said dreamily, thinking about our romantic dinner for two.
The rest of my day consisted mainly of talking to Mack on the phone and sitting around the house with Keith. Staying with him was pretty enjoyable; he had let me listen to a few rough bars from his new song, and even taught me a few chords on the guitar. Of course, at first his obsession and overprotective anxiety over his guitars got a little irritating at some times, but I eventually talked him into letting me try it out.
We were both satisfied with having silence between us at times; neither of us felt the need to fill gaps of silence with needless chatter. He was a very hands-off kind of host, and I was a simple houseguest. It was nice, and I would miss Keith when I left.
When I left…I sighed as I thought these words. I would be leaving behind so much! It was unfair. Unfair to Damian, especially. This news that I would be boarding that plane next week to fly back to the states would come out of nowhere when I told him at dinner tonight. I could just imagine his face, saddened and maybe a little rejected. I would have to explain very thoroughly that I did not want to leave him, just like all those times he told me he would not want to leave me.
So when it came time for me to be getting ready for dinner, I tried to think of something – anything! – else that would get my mind off the coming pain.
Just focus on the good things tonight, the voice kept telling me. It was so optimistic, just like Damian. I shook my head and continued prepping for my romantic dinner for two.
At 6:20, I was dressed and ready to go, with my hair curled nicely and subtle amounts of makeup applied. Mack consulted me on my wardrobe and accessories, and I styled my hair accordingly. After a quick glance in the mirror, I smirked as I imagined the look on Damian’s face when he saw me in my thin-strapped red dress, strappy black sandals, silver earrings and necklace, and dark wavy hair flowing past my shoulders.
I waited anxiously by the front door. Keith walked by and said, “You look very nice.” I blushed and thanked him, turning my head to look out the window for Damian once more. Fifteen minutes later, a car pulled into the driveway, and out stepped Damian. Through the window of the front door, I could see that he too was dressed nicely, with black pants and a button-down shirt, but no tie or jacket. Clearly, I was dressed appropriately, not over- or underdressed.
When I opened the door to let Damian in, my breath caught and my heart faltered – he was stunning. His usually messy, spiky hair was now tame and not as pointed as usual. The dark pants and vertically striped shirt accented his eyes, which were a brilliant, shining blue – my favorite color. The fit of the shirt and unbuttoned top button made his shoulders look broad and his arms muscular. In all the times I had imagined and gossiped with Mack about what my dream date would look like, not once could my imagination have come up with a man this handsome.
I smiled up at him. The smile soon became a smirk again as I saw his eyes pop wide, his eyebrows arch, and his jaw drop when he finally saw me up close. His reaction lasted only a second, and then he smiled his most dazzling smile back at me. I think I momentarily forgot how to breathe, possibly forgetting how to
think, as well.
“Hey,” he said, catching me around my waist and pulling my body tight against his before he even walked through the door. “You – you look, um,” he cleared his throat. “You look really beautiful.”
Beautiful?! I’d been expecting another “you look nice” like Keith had said, but
beautiful was more than enough for me. I blushed.
“You’re pretty handsome yourself!” I replied. We stood in the doorway, staring at each other until a bright flash interrupted us.
“Cheese!” exclaimed Keith as he snapped our picture. He laughed. “Oh, c’mon you guys, pose for a nice one.”
Damian slipped his arm around my waist, and I hugged myself closer to him. We both smiled at the camera…
“Hey!” I said, noticing that it was my camera Keith was using. “Where’d you get that?!”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” he said with an airy wave of his hand. “Go out, have a good time, and I’ll just – er – go put this back where I found it…”
Damian and I laughed, but turned and walked away from him out the door. Damian led me out to his car and opened the passenger door for me. “Madame, your carriage awaits,” he joked as he gestured for me to step inside. Giggling, I sat down, and we were soon on our way.
After a short ride, we pulled up to a moderately fancy Italian restaurant with white lights decorating above the entrance, and very Romanesque sculptures were on either side of us as we entered. The dimly lit restaurant was crowded but still relatively quiet. Faint Italian music was playing, and the smell of garlic and marinara wafted up my nose.
“Reservation for McGinty,” Damian said, pulling my attention away from the décor and to the waitress leading us…outside?
We stepped outside onto a large patio filled with tables and chairs, just like inside. Some of them were occupied by other customers. The same strings of while lights hung overhead, and I could still vaguely hear the Italian music from inside. But I hardly registered any of that as I caught sight of the next oncoming beauty. The sun, out from behind the clouds for once, shone brightly above the ocean, which was down a grassy hill beside the restaurant. It was so beautiful. I almost did not realize that Damian was waiting for me to sit down at our table.
When I finally took a seat, Damian leaned across the table and asked, “So, whaddya think?”
“It’s great!” I said enthusiastically. He beamed. “But this place isn’t too expensive, is it?” He shouldn’t spend a lot of money on me; after all, he was going to college in a few months.
“Don’t worry about it,” he responded sternly, tossing my question aside. I settled for that answer and shifted uncomfortably in my chair. Should I start the hard conversation now, or wait until after dinner? I bit my lip. Well, there was no need for Damian to be burdened with this news throughout dinner, too. I would wait until later.
“So,” I began, “You stay home all day so your mom doesn’t get suspicious, but then you walk out of the house dressed like
that?” I laughed.
“I told her I was goin’ out with some friends,” Damian explained with a chuckle. “And then I changed in the car. Pretty simple.”
“So Gemma didn’t-”
“Nah, she wouldn’t say anythin’.”
That was good. I would have to find some way to tell her “thank you” before I left.
My brief silence did not go unnoticed. “Hey, are you okay?” Damian asked carefully. “You’ve been acting strange for
days now.”
This was the moment. I could feel it.
“Damian-” I cut off and avoided his eyes.
“Are you not telling me something?” he accused. My face burned redder. I had wanted to put this off until after dinner, but we hadn’t even gotten menus yet…
“Mala, what is it?” he asked urgently. His tone scared me; I think he realized it, because he said, more gently this time, “Mala? What’s the problem? You can tell me.”
My expression twisted agonizingly, but I quickly rearranged it before I picked up my head and bore my gaze directly into Damian’s.
“Damian,” I started my well-rehearsed speech, “I’ve loved being here with you and you know I love you but-”
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” he interrupted quietly. He looked away from my face, but my eyes stayed locked on his, as if I only had so much time left to look at it.
“Yes.” I paused. “I don’t want to, trust me-”
“Then why are you?” he asked, acid now in his deep, aggressive voice.
“I don’t want to, but I have to. Just like all the times you left me, I have to go back home. You knew I would.”
Damian’s expression looked fragile, like if I said one wrong word it would shatter. “When?”
“Six days, including tomorrow.”
I looked down, afraid to see how much pain I was inflicting. I had hardened myself over the past few days to be immune to this news in front of Damian. Having him see me upset over it would only make it that much worse for him.
The few seconds of silence that followed seemed like they stretched into hours, or possibly several days; there was tension in the air between us, like the calm before a storm. We were obviously sailing on rough waters here, and I could see no way to steer us clear of the rough storm to which we were headed.
He squared his shoulders and looked at me again. “Well, then,” he said, jaw clenched tightly, “The next six days, you’ll probably be sick of me, ‘cause I’m spending every second of it with you!”
Whew, I breathed in my head. Remarkably, he had single-handedly navigated around the storm I sensed, and now this was the result. It must have cost him a lot. Putting on a brave face for me, not really letting out his emotions on the subject must be awful.
Oh, well, said the voice. He must not want to talk about it.
Playing along, I replied, “Where else can we go? What else in Ireland is there for you to show me? We’ve already seen the guildhall, the mall-”
“Aha!” he cried, making me jump. “There’s a music festival that Keith sings in every year, and we are
so going. There’s food and dancing and games and music, and it’s great craic, maybe even some of the lads will come…”
As I listened to Damian speak, I realized how much worse it could have been. I finally understood how lucky I was to have such a great boyfriend as Damian, and how I would not trade him for the world.
there ya go, a nice long udpate for ya... but dont go complaining when theres not another update for a week (ahem, you know who you are)! i still havent finished this one but am sooooo unbelievably close. once i finish, ill post my new series, which i hope youll all read anywhooo, in the mean time, comment and reply on this one! thanks for reading and putting up with me!