Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2010 7:43:00 GMT -5
“I say old chap!” Keith Harkin cried as the bartender walked by them again. “Might I have another?” He was slung over the table his eyes bloodshot along with large bags underneath them. Sitting next to him was Ryan laughing, well, more like giggling over something Keith had said.
“And then—and then—and then--” Ryan attempted to say between gales of laughter. “Hanging!” his voice took on a falsetto note and his eyes crossed at the word. He began to guffaw leaning toward Keith, his own eyes bloodshot as well.
“My goodness!” Keith yelled shooting backwards. “Your breath is abominable!” Once he was sufficiently drunk Keith vocabulary had branched far out
“Not as bad as yours!” Ryan snickered. His vocabulary had shrunk. Noticeably so. Suddenly he hopped onto the seat.
“Get down Ryan! You’re embarrassing me!”
He stepped onto the table and started to butcher a melody, his voice breaking and off key. Keith pulled him down, slamming him onto the seat.
“What’cha go and do that for?” Ryan slurred.
“You sir are an embarrassment, and I no longer wish to be seen with you.”
“Fine then!” Ryan stood and walked out of the pub.
~*~
“Mom!” Damian cried pulling Ryan behind him.
“Daddy…” he said looking up at the boy.
“MOM!”
“What—Damian where did he come from?” His mother asked walking in.
“I found him doing donuts in the parking lot at the pub.”
“What were you doing at the pub?”
“I passed it coming home!”
Ryan looked up and saw Mrs. McGinty “Mommy…”
“What do I do?!”
She stood there a moment staring at the once erudite man. “…put him on the couch, I suppose.”
“Hanging!” Ryan repeated crossing his eyes again.
“Then knock him out.”
“Yes Mom.” Damian said dragging Ryan deeper into the house.
~*~
“Coffee…”Keith muttered just waking up, his head throbbing. “Coffee—‘Mamma Mia’?”
The music from ‘Mamma Mia’ was playing and doing nothing to help his headache. Keith looked around. “Did Mommy redecorate?” he asked no one in particular. “…and get new furniture…how long was I out?!”
George walked out from an adjoining room, steaming mug of coffee in his hand.
“George…what are you doing in my house?” he asked confused.
“No Keith, you’re in my house.”
“When did you get a house in Ireland?”
“I didn’t. You’re in Scotland. You were wandering around outside last night, talking rather articulately actually.”
“Talking what?”
“You gave me an exact definition last night.” George commented.
“I did?” I don’t remember last night and—would you turn that down?!” Keith cried covering his ears with the pillow.
“Keith?” George asked leaning down next to his head. “Sarah turned it off a few minutes ago.”
“Would you stop yelling?! I get the point!” he sat up suddenly, then held his head as if he where afraid it would fall off from the movement. “Aw crap. Does Mommy know?”
“What?”
Keith leaped off the seat and grabbed the front of George’s shirt. “Does Mommy know?!”
“I don’t know, I don’t even know how you got here!”
“Someone get a phone, me ma’s gonna kill me!”
“And then—and then—and then--” Ryan attempted to say between gales of laughter. “Hanging!” his voice took on a falsetto note and his eyes crossed at the word. He began to guffaw leaning toward Keith, his own eyes bloodshot as well.
“My goodness!” Keith yelled shooting backwards. “Your breath is abominable!” Once he was sufficiently drunk Keith vocabulary had branched far out
“Not as bad as yours!” Ryan snickered. His vocabulary had shrunk. Noticeably so. Suddenly he hopped onto the seat.
“Get down Ryan! You’re embarrassing me!”
He stepped onto the table and started to butcher a melody, his voice breaking and off key. Keith pulled him down, slamming him onto the seat.
“What’cha go and do that for?” Ryan slurred.
“You sir are an embarrassment, and I no longer wish to be seen with you.”
“Fine then!” Ryan stood and walked out of the pub.
~*~
“Mom!” Damian cried pulling Ryan behind him.
“Daddy…” he said looking up at the boy.
“MOM!”
“What—Damian where did he come from?” His mother asked walking in.
“I found him doing donuts in the parking lot at the pub.”
“What were you doing at the pub?”
“I passed it coming home!”
Ryan looked up and saw Mrs. McGinty “Mommy…”
“What do I do?!”
She stood there a moment staring at the once erudite man. “…put him on the couch, I suppose.”
“Hanging!” Ryan repeated crossing his eyes again.
“Then knock him out.”
“Yes Mom.” Damian said dragging Ryan deeper into the house.
~*~
“Coffee…”Keith muttered just waking up, his head throbbing. “Coffee—‘Mamma Mia’?”
The music from ‘Mamma Mia’ was playing and doing nothing to help his headache. Keith looked around. “Did Mommy redecorate?” he asked no one in particular. “…and get new furniture…how long was I out?!”
George walked out from an adjoining room, steaming mug of coffee in his hand.
“George…what are you doing in my house?” he asked confused.
“No Keith, you’re in my house.”
“When did you get a house in Ireland?”
“I didn’t. You’re in Scotland. You were wandering around outside last night, talking rather articulately actually.”
“Talking what?”
“You gave me an exact definition last night.” George commented.
“I did?” I don’t remember last night and—would you turn that down?!” Keith cried covering his ears with the pillow.
“Keith?” George asked leaning down next to his head. “Sarah turned it off a few minutes ago.”
“Would you stop yelling?! I get the point!” he sat up suddenly, then held his head as if he where afraid it would fall off from the movement. “Aw crap. Does Mommy know?”
“What?”
Keith leaped off the seat and grabbed the front of George’s shirt. “Does Mommy know?!”
“I don’t know, I don’t even know how you got here!”
“Someone get a phone, me ma’s gonna kill me!”