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Post by misssunflower on Feb 11, 2011 22:48:40 GMT -5
Another old story of mine I'm revisiting because it never made it to nox. This one a Ryan piece.
"There Will Be No White Flag Upon My Door/ I'm in Love And Always Will Be." - 'White Flag' Dido
White Flag
Ryan’s group mate Damian had summed it up pretty well. Breaking up is hard to do. It had been, it definitely had been. And looking back on it, it would remain an unhappy thought and memory for a good while yet. He wasn’t entirely sure who officially ended the 2 year and 4 month relationship, or when, or why. There had been fights, of course. Ones they’d made up and resolved, ones they had not. But every couple fought, it just, well, it just happened. He had been able to look past the arguments they had, but eventually, it appeared Shannon had had enough. She was warm, relaxed, loving, worrying, stubborn, and occasionally moody. At the same time she was always shy and hated to be in the spotlight. She had a complex with Ryan having a fair amount of female fans. She never got violently jealous, and rarely even spoke of it, but he knew she’d never liked it. This was how many of their arguments began. “It wouldn’t change anything if you told them about me.” She’d sigh if he brought up possibly making his relationship status public. As, as far as the fans knew, he was single. “They’d still ogle over you.” She tried to give a teasing smile. He laughed. Knowing the fans he and the other members of Celtic Thunder had, it was pretty true. Still. “Okay it wouldn’t exactly tame any of them. But I think they ought to know about you... they’d like you.” “I’m not looking for their approval of me Ryan.” She say softly, not angry, at least not verbally so. He could always tell when she wasn’t happy inside. “They would talk about me?” “I can hardly see them saying anything bad.” “But they’d still talk about me! Ryan, I’m not- I don’t want girls I never have even heard of, an ocean away, discussing our relationship!” He shook his head, though she had a point, “Well, then there isn’t much to do. Nothing I say helps the jealousy and you won’t take the suge-“ “I’m not jealous!” She snapped, blushing. “Shannon…” He raised his eyebrows. She shook her head, “I’m not. I’m just-“ She trailed off. “Jealous.” The argument came so often it was nearly rehearsed. It could go on for almost half an hour, simple contradictions of Shannon’s internal jealousy, and it normally ended with them both in laughter, having come to grips with the silliness of it all. But Shannon didn’t contradict this time, “Well, how can I help it? How can I, when you are more concerned about how the fans like me than anything? How can I not feel a little less important, then, Ryan?” Ryan blinked at that. He’d not planned for the response, so he had no idea how he was to respond to that. How could she even think that? How could she ever think she was anything less than his whole world? He loved her and knew he always would – but he had no idea what to say. She’d taken his silence in the worst way, and shook her head in irritated exasperation, “I need to get ready for work.” She mumbled. “I love you.” He said automatically. A little humorless laugh for that, and a sarcastic, “Mmmm-hmmm.” Was his only reply. “Shan-non” He said meaningfully. She turned back to him and sighed, smiling only the tiniest bit, “I love you too, Ry Ry. I’ll call after work.” The phone conversation ended up less pleasant, as did a couple conversations after, as the earlier conversation wasn’t forgotten. He still loved her though, and even when she was furious he knew she loved him too. But it got to the point where the stress on the two of them was too great, and with no real idea how it’d happened the relationship ended. Right before the beginning of his fall tour with the group. That was about 8 months ago. 8 months without Shannon in his life any longer. Paul was sitting with him in a pub one uneventful evening as these thoughts swirled in his head… again. Generally, the group didn’t hang out much when they weren’t touring. But Paul was often a comfort, or at least a distraction. “This is getting pathetic.” His friend remarked, looking decidedly at the football match on the TV. Ryan smirked, glancing at the score, which was, in fact, rather depressing. “Not their season I guess.” “You know I’m not talking about the game, Ryan.” He didn’t let that get to him, and ignored the implication, “Not sure what you’re referencing, then.” Paul chuckled a bit, “Okay I guess pathetic is pretty harsh, I mean, you are still… you, I suppose. When ya first told me I thought you were going to lock yourself away and never talk again. You’re plenty good at recovering… but today… Ryan, you’re acting as bad as when you first told us. What’s up?” There’s a pause and he takes a sip of his drink, still looking at the match, “Today would have been our 3 year anniversary.” “Oh.” He laughed a little at that reply, so rare for Paul of all people to be made speechless, “So… yeah.” He took another sip. He had been hoping not to get on this topic verbally, though it was all that was in his mind. Paul didn’t take the hint, “Do you still talk to her?” “What do you think?” A pause, “You should.” More laughter, “And what would I say? I think we’d both made it pretty clear in our final words that we wanted nothing to do with each other anymore.” “And I’m pretty sure neither of you meant that.” He replied dryly. “Oh I didn’t! But she- she was so mad. I’m not going to force myself back in her life if she doesn’t want me there.” He rolled his eyes, catching the longing in his voice as he trailed off, “You want to know how she is though.” “Of course I do.” He sighed, “But she doesn’t need to know that. I wish I could just see her… without her knowing, just so I knew she was alright.” God, he sounded ridiculous. He’d heard of girls getting so depressed and moody and foolish sounding when hurt and lonely, and that didn’t make him feel any better. “And that’s how stalkers are made.” The words made a smile crack his face, and he gave Paul a punch in the shoulder, “It was just a thought, I’m not going to!” “So you say. I can all to easily see this.” He laughed. “Oh, that’s terribly comforting, thank you.” “It’s what I’m here for.” Ryan openly grinned now, “Right, right, and you’re doing fantastic. Can we watch the game now?” Paul shook his head in laughter, “Right, okay. But if you start moping on me again, I’ll- I’ll- I’ll tell you about my own misadventures in love. There aren’t too many stories, but one or two are pretty spectacular. You’ll be feeling better in no time.” “God no! I’ll pass on that one.” He said, “But thank you, really.” “Hey, it’s nothing. Just hate seeing you like this you know.” He grinned and they turned their attention back to the match. Ryan felt himself smile to see the team so pathetically losing had gained a few points when he wasn’t looking – not staying down, no matter what.
~~~
Shannon was celebrating her would be 3rd Anniversary with the love of her life most appropriately. Drowning her sorrows in chocolate fudge ice cream and watching old Star Trek re-runs. If anyone saw her right now she knew she looked like an complete and utter wreck. But in this particular case she could not care any less. Rain pounded rhythmically on the roof of the apartment, unable to be hidden over the TV yelling and over-dramatic sound effects. She sighed; that was Irish weather for you. The sound used to calm her, or even make her smile, but of course that had been when she’d be laying on Ryan’s shoulder watching a movie or what not to the added soundtrack of the storm. Or she was talking to him on the phone, or via webcam, and he’d laugh, and share the temperatures and weather surrounding them on whatever tour location he was at that day. She’d never minded his touring. Sure, she missed her boyfriend terribly on the three to four months he was away from her, and that was natural. But this was his job – and she knew he loved it. He loved being able to go on stage every other night for a few months doing what he was absolutely amazing at, and why on earth shouldn’t he? It had been stupid, to put it at the most mildest terms, saying that Ryan cared more about the fans than he did for her. Even THINKING that. Shannon HATED jealousy, positively could not stand the emotion, and could not stand her feeling it anymore. And, why shouldn’t he care about his fans? Without them he would not probably be the happy and carefree young man she’d fallen so madly in love with. And he didn’t play personal concerts for his fans the way he did for her – inviting her over when he’d written something he wanted her to hear, songs that might not ever grace another person’s ear, though they were all lovely. He talk all about them when he came home, either, in fact, when he was with her Celtic Thunder appeared the farthest thing from his mind. She usually was the one who ended up bringing it into the conversation, and inadvertently causing an argument while fighting with her own idiotic bitterness. How could she have been so angry, when he had done nothing? How could she have hurt him when she was the one at fault, always, for arguing with herself and in result, him? She’d told him things she’d never mean in a million years. She had, and she could never undo them. “Shannon…” A voice echoes from the answering machine in another room. In her thoughts she didn’t even hear the phone ring. “Shannon, I know you are home.” The voice belonged to a childhood to adult friend Carrissa. “You know I know you well enough, here. You’re sitting on your couch miserably eating mint chocolate chip ice cream out of the carton and watching black and white si-fi flicks.” She groans and blows her dripping nose before grabbing the phone, “It’s chocolate fudge.” “What?” “The ice cream.” She says, trying to joke, and failing. Carrissa sighed, “Hun, you’re crying? Come on, you were telling me you were going to be just fine! You were going to make it through this!” “I’m trying, you know I am!” “Well, I don’t know how hard your trying when I’m here giving you things to get your mind off and you don’t even show.” Shannon blinked, “What?” Now her friend laughed, “Oh dear, you really did forget then? I thought you just wanted to wallow in your own misery tonight.” “What did I forget, Carrissa?” She stressed a little worried now. All duties slipped from her mind that night. “Two words I had planned for ya. Blind. Date.” Another groan. “Carri, you went THROUGH with that? I told you – I appreciate it but I don’t want it!” “Shannie, I HATE seeing you like this!” She sounded genuinely concerned, “You know I do, it’s absolutely torturing. It doesn’t have to be serious but you just need to get out there – and at least remember that there are other guys out there!” Shannon opened her mouth and then closed it before the words left her mouth. She knew there were other guys out there, but why did that make any difference? She didn’t want any of them. “I know that.” Was all the reply she could muster. Carrissa sighed again, “You should talk to him.” “To him?” She knew whom Carrissa meant, and silently thanked her for not using his name. But surprise at her friends words startled her out of her own boundaries, “To Ryan?” “Yes! For goodness sake, if you are this hurting about what happened between you two you could at least talk about it.” Another sigh, “ I mean, have you even spoken since… you know…?” “Of course not.” What would she have said? She imagined seeing and speaking to him would only somehow end in another fight, again her fault. She didn’t want to put him through that. “From what I hear you both were mad, furious at the time. You didn’t think about what you were saying. You didn’t mean any of it-“ “Of course I didn’t!” “So tell him that!” Shannon shook her head silently, “Carri, it’s been months. It’s been over a half a year. We can’t just suddenly step back into a relationship after the first one went up in flames.” She took a shaky breath, trying to hold back tears, “And just because I’m not off dating people you’ve lined up for me doesn’t mean- it doesn.” “You think he’d move on so easily after you, Shannie.” Her friend tries to say lightly. “You aren’t a forgettable person.” “He might- I mean, I did say- I did make it clear then that I wanted nothing to do with him…” Carrissa sighed. The night was full of sighs, “Shannon. Oliva. Carrey. You are a silly woman, and I am coming over right now.” “You don’t – Carrissa, don’t. I’m f-fine. I’ll be fine.” “Nope, too late I’m already ready. We are getting your mind off of this, now, before I can’t recognize my best friend under all those tears.” Shannon shook her head again, but this time she was smiling. What on earth would she do without that woman? “Right, fine, fine! You aren’t bringing this blind date with you by any chance?” She teased as well. “Certainly not, my dear! This is just girls! We’re gonna forget about men for the night! About sadness and everything of the sort!” She grinned letting the mood take her over. But as she hung up and looked back at the TV she had completely disregarded it so happened to be playing a commercial. A commercial for Celtic Thunder. For another show, another tour, a DVD they had left to film right after their break up. She caught a glimpse of Ryan for a second and quickly shut the TV off. She wasn’t going to pay attention to it now, she wasn’t going to think about him now. She could stop thinking about him for a while, she knew. Especially when darling Carrissa was over. But she couldn’t stop loving him. And she didn’t think she ever would.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2011 23:04:29 GMT -5
I really like this alot! Poor Ryan. You catch the emotion VERY well, poor dear, both of them. I love Shannon's scene with the ice cream, and Poor Mr. Ryan.
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Post by meg_cahill21 on Feb 12, 2011 10:52:34 GMT -5
this is awesome!!! u HAVE to write more!!!
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Post by misssunflower on Feb 12, 2011 13:02:37 GMT -5
“So, going to order something or keep staring at me? It’s getting rather disturbing.” Ryan blinked and tried to glance down from the tall brunette modelesque waitress before him and back at the menu, and failed. It was about a week after his miserable pub night with Paul and he just hadn’t felt like cooking. The stunning woman waited, raising her eyebrows a tad. Finally he cleared his throat and spoke, but not to order, “Sorry, just surprised to see you working here, Carri, that’s all.” He tried to give her a casual smile. Carrissa Allen shook her head, keeping her face in a mask of politeness. She had always appeared to like him, though she would like anyone that made her best friend as happy as he seemed to have made Shannon, in their time together. He could hardly imagine her liking him now, “Not full time, just helping a friend out. “ “A friend…?” He repeated slowly before he could stop himself. He shouldn’t be asking about her, she was none of his business anymore. But if she was here…? If she was working here, and he could see her… Stupid thoughts. Stupid, stupid ideas. She wouldn’t be happy to see him again, why would she be after he’d hurt her? And he could think of nothing he could say to make her… oh he didn’t know what he’d even ask. But Ryan couldn’t help but feel his heart stop at the idea of seeing her again, after the 8 months of not. She rolled her eyes, “I have other friends, Ryan Kelly. Now will you please order something. I’m still being paid for this and I’m not about to get in trouble for fraternizing with customers while on the job.” He laughed awkwardly and agreed, but before she could turn and leave with it he stopped her quickly, “Have you talk- I mean-“ “I’ll be back in 5 minutes, tops. You can interrogate me about the well being of your EX girlfriend, then.” She said shortly, and he didn’t imagine the emphasis on the ‘ex’ part. Yep. She was not happy with him. Who would be, in her situation? Why did he ever leave her? If it tortured him this much… why had he let the stress on them be too much? Ryan sighed waiting for Carrissa to return, suddenly not sure he wanted to hear everything from her. She’d be mad at him, mad that he’d made the sunny beautiful Shannon angry and moody and depressed. If, in fact, that was how she was doing. For all he knew now, Shannon could have moved on completely. She was gorgeous, petite with straight soft blonde hair and the most stunning green-ish gold eyes he’d ever seen. She was a prize he’d so idiotically lost; who was to say someone else had not found her? Shannon hated being lonely, he knew, she’d be happy to be with another guy who showed her love and attention. That thought wasn’t one he liked, but if she was happy, he’d survive better. Maybe he could move on as well. then. Ryan just needed to know, he hated think she’d be miserable the rest of her life because of him. Carrissa’s ‘5 minutes’ felt like an excruciating eternity. But at last she returned, with one tray of food for him, but two drinks. She sat herself across from him, and when he looked confused she rolled her eyes again, “Taking my lunch break.” She explained. “You don’t need to-“ “Don’t give yourself that much credit, I was planning to anyways – and your actually wasting it.” “You don’t have to, then.” He repeated. “You look like your dying here, Ryan. I can’t just leave ya like that. It’s like leaving an injured puppy in the rain.” He raised his eyebrows, “Thanks…” She shook her head, “Again, don’t let it go to your head. I’ll give ya one question about her.” “One?” “One.” She repeated, “And that’s generous, given my opinion on all of this.” Ryan found he did not really want to ask about what Carrissa’s opinion on ‘all of this’ was. It would probably involve him being called some things he wasn’t quite in a position to deny. But one question? ONE question about how Shannon was faring? He had dozens, millions of questions about her, and her life without him. He tried to think of the best one, he tried to think at all. Is she okay? Is she happy? Does she think about me? Does she miss me? Is she with someone? How is she doing? His mind shuffled them wildly in his head and finally he just had to choose one at random. First one that came up. “Does she want to talk to me?” Carrissa took a deep breath and looked at him for a long moment. “No.” A sharp pain hit his heart and he looked away quickly gazing at nothing out the window. He could have seen that coming, he should have seen that coming. He wished he could take the question back. Any other would have been better than that. But, before Ryan could nearly drown in his own sadness at that he thought about if the question was flipped. Paul had been asking him about wanting to talk to her earlier, and he’d said he didn’t want to, didn’t he? He wanted to see her, he wanted to know she was well – but he didn’t know if he was ready to talk to her, or if he ever would be. Of all the stupid questions to ask… Shannon’s friend sighed and pushed herself out of the seat. “Look, Ryan… I’m sorry. I don’t know much else to say.” He shook his head, “Thanks, Carri… sorry I stole your lunch.” “You didn’t. I just didn’t want you to think I was doing anything out of kindness…” She laughed a little, “And I suppose that answer wasn’t kind so to speak. But- well, you know now.” She put her hand on his shoulder as she walked past, “It was nice seeing you.” “You too,” He replied automatically, but after a second thought he turned to her retreating form, “Carrissa?” She turned, confused, “Yes?” “How is she, Carrissa? I mean, well, how is she doing, really?” He didn’t care if he wasn’t staying within the one question requirement. She’d shown that she didn’t really mean that anyways. Her eyes softened the tiniest bit and a little sad smile touched her lips. He had an image in his head then, of the caring woman giving this same expression to a hurting Shannon not long ago. “She’s surviving.”
~~~
Oh God… Oh God… Oh please let this be some kind of ridiculous nightmare, Shannon prayed, please let this NOT be happening. If nothing else, God, PLEASE don’t let him see her. Of all the restaurants in Ireland… Shannon stared at the profile of her ex boyfriend in the restaurant she would be working with Carrissa at, to help out another common friend. She was running a bit late from her own real job, but suddenly she wished she had not left at all – and debated leaving then. Carrissa would understand. But she couldn’t move her feet for a moment, gaping at Ryan. She knew he could turn and look out the window that very second and – and she would have to face him. But she could not move, then. She just stood, feeling right then she was at the short end of some terribly cruel joke. It him, it was definitely him. She knew it 100% although she had not seen him in nearly 9 months. If nothing else tipped her off it was his hair. Sure, she tried to think, he could not be the only Irishman with that stunning, thick, pure ebony hair… but he was the only one she knew, and she could identify her boyfriend on that alone. Well, make that her EX boyfriend, she thought to herself, lest she forget she’d ruined that relationship. He was alone. Or at least he was at the moment, though no food was waiting across from him as he absently picked at his own lunch. He was neither looking for something, nor AT something even, just kind of blankly looking ahead. Daydreaming, Shannon almost smiled. Ryan used to tease HER about daydreaming. “You alive, there?” He’d ask, teasingly waving a hand in front of her eyes. She’d blink out of her trance to meet his grey eyes, silently laughing at her. Not cruel laughter though, Ryan would sooner be mean hearted than she would take up surfing. It just didn’t happen. She shook her head, attempting to clear her thoughts from whatever daydream, as well from looking straight into his stunning eyes, unexpectedly, “I am indeed, just spaced out just then.” “I could see that,” He grinned, “What were you thinking of?” “Nothing special.” She’d say, smiling a little. He laughed aloud. Even the littlest things she said seemed to make him smile, “Was I in your thoughts?” She laughed, “Of course not.” “Really?” “Nope. I told you; I’m not thinking of anything special, remember?” Ryan rolled his eyes a little but kept a gentle smile, “Well, someone knows how to say the right things.” he’d laugh, laying a soft kiss on her lips, “And, so you know, my thoughts are always of something special.” Another kiss and the topic would change. Shannon shook her head, her face burning hot. Oh, why could she not even look at him from a distance, through a window, without hundreds of beautiful, beautiful memories returning to her, like a slideshow on hyper-speed? Feelings of warmth filling her and leaving her like a tide, leaving her cold after waking up from them. She could hardly imagine how terrible SPEAKING to him would be. Of ALL the restaurants in Ireland!? A car horn honked and she realized she’d stopped dead in the middle of the street, gaping. Face red, she ran behind it and made her way to the back door – a precaution. Her mind was working over drive trying to come up with excuses to tell her friends about why she’d have to slip out on this. She just could NOT be here. Not right now. Not in the same building. Not after all this time. She saw Carrissa before she even was all the way in, head bent over her phone, not even seeing her enter, texting like mad. A second later Shannon felt her phone vibrate and smirking, she looked at the text. “DON’T COME!!!” She kept herself silent but was laughing almost hysterically on the inside. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about convincing Carrissa. “Too late.” She murmured, causing her friend to look up, eyes wide. “Shannon,” She said quickly, “He’s here, I mean, God this sounds weird. I mean, I figured you wouldn’t want to see him, you said you didn’t want to talk to him I-“ “Carri, love,” Shannon said softly, “I know, I saw him when I was walking in.” “Y-You did?” “He didn’t see ME, no. But I caught a glimpse of him… thought I might have lost my mind momentarily.” She shook her head, “You didn’t. Was just as surprised, I must say. And I wanted to tell you the second I saw him but then I had to go, you know wait, and… I of course I’m assigned that side of the place and I can’t exactly ignor-“ “He saw you then- you had to wait on him?” God, Shannon thought, they sounded like such idiots talking about him like they were. He was doing nothing wrong by being here, and she was over reacting, wasn’t she? She was always over reacting, wasn’t she? Carrissa nodded solemnly, “He did, was surprised to see me as well. Told him I was only here to help a friend, didn’t mention you though… he was curious enough about you as was…” She rolled her eyes, mildly irritated. She took a sharp breath, “He ASKED about me, Carrissa?” Did he miss her? Did he want her back? Did he want to talk to her, see her again? Or was he just being polite, wanting to make sure she was alright? She could not put that past the nicest young man she’d ever known. Even if he had moved completely on, he WOULD still want to ask about her – make sure she was alright. God curse his sensitivity, and it’s ability to soften her heart until it was nearly mush. She did NOT need that, then. “What did he ask?” She added, softly. “I didn’t think he had right to know every detail about how you’ve been since you’ve been apart, so I gave him one question.” She began. “ONE question, Carri?” “That’s generous, Shannie! Do you WANT him knowing all about how you rarely go out anymore, how it’s a good day if I can get one smile out of you?” She blushed, imagining that that would hurt him probably as much as her yelling at him had, if not more. He didn’t need to know how hurt she was, he shouldn’t have to know. He could think she was fine. This was why she didn’t want to see him. Sighing, she asked again, “What did he ask?” “’Do you want to talk to him?’” Her heart stopped. Oh Lord. Oh sweet, sweet Lord… He DID want to talk to her? He was looking to see her again? Oh, why!? “And…?” “I told him what you told me.” Carrissa sighed, sounding like she was exhausted by the whole ordeal, “That no, no you did not want to talk to him. Was that right?” Shannon sighed, “Yes, yes, thank you.” She wanted to ask his reply to that, but found she really didn’t want to know. This was better, she thought. “And well-“ Her friend began softly. She wasn’t sure she heard. “What?” She asked. Carrissa shook her head, “Nothing. Anyways, you can go, I can hold it u-“ “Shannon!! You made it, too!! Oh, you’re an absolute Godsend!” Carrissa and Shannon’s other childhood friend, Will, took her by shoulders in a brotherly embrace. The restaurant was newly opened, but already busy. Busier than their best friend and owner had employees for. As his mates the two of them happily took the job to help out when they could. She looked in his chocolate brown eyes, looking worried and worn down. She couldn’t leave… how could she? She sent Carrissa a look of surrender. “What can I help with, Will?” She gave him her most convincing grin. He beamed, “Carrissa’s on a lunch break, so you can clean up some of the tables by the front. Thank you so much for this, you have no idea.” Shannon was already grabbing a towel and wrapping an apron around her, not looking at either friend’s face. “Not a problem ,Will. Be back in a bit.” Not wanting to be out where she could possibly be seen, she tried to grab as many dirty plates as she could in one trip. She teetered at the weight but kept going, wanting to be done as soon as physically possible. Finally, convinced she’d got enough for the first trip, she moved back to the kitchen. But before she’d made it a plate on top began to rock unsteadily, and before she knew it, she had hit the ground – plates and silverware falling around her to the gasps of other customers. She blushed furiously, trying to gather the mess. Nothing had shattered though a few plates had cracks in them. She ignored people’s concerned questions and stared down at the scattered plating trying to gather them again. Someone handed her a plate, as she continued and though the gesture only made her more mortified by her stupidity, she murmured a thank you to the unknown helper. Another plate and this time the person’s hand brushed underneath it. An all too familiar spark ran through her body and her head snapped up. Only to meet the suddenly equally shocked eyes of Ryan Kelly.
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Post by CelticPrincess24 on Feb 12, 2011 14:57:02 GMT -5
uh-oh the sparks are going to fly! UPDATE SOON! you know Tangy? you write great stories!
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Post by meg_cahill21 on Feb 12, 2011 17:19:11 GMT -5
will u please update?!?!?! this is sooooooooooooooo good!!! and CP's right, u do write amazing stories!!!
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Post by orinocoflow on Feb 12, 2011 17:29:36 GMT -5
I lvoe it!!! Please update soon! and I agree, you do write some of the best stories on here!
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Post by laurenne on Feb 12, 2011 19:42:20 GMT -5
I absolutely love it so far. Update soon, please.
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Post by celticbear on Feb 12, 2011 21:26:31 GMT -5
Tangy! I Love this Story! I hope Ryan and Shannon get back together! UPDATE SOON,PLEASE!
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Post by misssunflower on Feb 12, 2011 23:11:52 GMT -5
They were so close. He could count every gold fleck in her stunning emerald eyes, her WIDE emerald eyes. Ryan had not seen Shannon in 9 months, but in that brief second he felt like they had never separated. The position they were in was not new to either, as she was not the most coordinated individual on earth. He had flash backs of the many times he’d helped her clean up whatever mess she’d caused. Usually with the two of them laughing at it all. She was not, obviously, laughing then. Expression aside, she looked exactly the same, her blonde hair falling loosely in her eyes but she didn’t appear to bring herself to push it back. She looked pale despite it being the middle of summer, and she looked absolutely shocked. Why had Carrissa lied? Told him she wasn’t there? Had she not wanted him to see her? That was understandable. Especially if Shannon did want to see him, herself, as he’d been told. And that, though it hurt, was also understandable. She had said she didn’t want to talk to him. Shannon was simply gaping at him, her cheeks growing redder by the second looking severely distressed at seeing him. Ryan could not think of anything to say to her, knowing he SHOULD say something right then. What a situation they were both in. He wondered if he could possibly just finish helping her in silence, or if she’d even let him do that. She looked away from his eyes after what felt like an eternity, gazing down. He was suddenly aware he still practically holding her hand underneath the plate he’d handed her, as he’d obliviously helped her after her fall, before knowing it who it was he was helping. Not that he wouldn’t have helped if he had known, well, at least he thought that. He thought to drop her hand but wasn’t sure if she had a full grip of the plate yet… or something like that. But the plate, and her hand were quickly jerked away from him then, and she noisily began to stack everything up again, trying to go as fast as humanly possible, and looking at everything BUT him. “Shannon…” The words left his mouth before he had anything to follow them up with. Her lovely eyes met his for a second, looking shocked and confused and scared and upset and embarrassed. But it was only a second as she’d grabbed the majority of what had fallen and wordlessly scrambled to her feet making a mad dash for the back kitchen again, leaving Ryan sitting on the floor feeling like an idiot. Of course she hadn’t wanted to see him – of course she’d be upset to have suddenly unexpectedly been brought face-to-face with someone she had most likely taken out of her life almost completely. He tried to imagine it and couldn’t as he, himself, HAD wanted to see her, to some extent. Though, seeing her like this wasn’t exactly what he had planned and hoped. Still, he hadn’t expected her to be quite so unhappy. He sighed, picking up the plates she’d left behind and set the stack on a table near where she’d retreated, unsure about leaving or staying. She probably would not be back to get them until she was certain he was gone. But he didn’t want to leave, he did not want to leave on that terrible note. Though, staying wouldn’t help any at all – what could he do if he stayed. Seeing him obviously was not good for her, and he didn’t even want to think about talking to her after all of that. The kitchen doors swung open a few seconds later and Ryan was faced with not Shannon, of course, but Carrissa again. She looked if she didn’t know whether or to be pissed or pitying. He couldn’t imagine how Shannon must have reacted upon returning to her friend. She didn’t say anything though, as she walked up and grabbed the remaining plates. After moment she met Ryan’s eye and the unspoken request to leave was apparent enough. He wasn’t in a mood to argue. Still. “I’m sorry.” He said, quickly before she could leave, again, “I didn’t know – I didn’t-“ She shook her head, “I know, I know. But you should probably go before this days trend goes any lower, if that’s possible. I’ll talk to her.” “And say what? Is she upset?” “Do I honestly have to answer that?” She said dryly. “Tell her I’m sorry.” He said, “Tell her-“ Carrissa scoffed, “Ryan, being your messenger would not make her any better, you know. Do YOU want to talk to her?” Ryan nearly considered, but remembered quickly her distress and simply seeing him, and shook his head, “Not if she doesn’t want me to. That would only upset her, your right.” He ran a hand back through his hair, “This was not how I’d hoped seeing her again would be like.” “You’ve been thinking of seeing her?” He nodded, “Just to check, I mean just to make sure she was okay… you know. I mean, I don’t expect… I wanted to know she’s alright, that’s all.” She sighed, “You’re too considerate sometimes, you know that? I don’t know if she’d be happy to know that you’re this worried about her. She likes to think you’ve moved on, I think.” Of course, if she’d moved on she’d want to think he had, she’d want to hope that. He thought about her worrying for his well being these past months. He wasn’t sure he wanted to think of her constantly weighed down by that either. “Good.” He said quietly, “I hope she isn’t too upset about, about this.” Carrissa said nothing in reply to that, then at last she glanced back to where the girl in question was, “I should go back to her.” She finally replied, “Will is taking good care of her right now, but I think she’ll need me.” THAT was certainly not the answer he had hoped for. That Shannon NEEDED her? Was seeing him THAT bad? THAT hurtful for her? And more than he cared to admit that first part hit him as well. Will? He remembered that Shannon had mentioned a close friend of her and Carrissa’s with that name. Will was taking good care of her, was he? Well, he had every right to didn’t he – after Ryan had so shaken the poor beautiful young woman. And she needed someone… he could be there for her. He swallowed back the jealousy that had unexpectedly filled him. He didn’t have any right to be. He’d left her, and she could go with whomever she chose. Then why had seeing him made her so unhappy? He tried to smile at Carrissa, who was still watching him with sad eyes, “Yes, you go to her then. I’m sorry, I really am.” Carrissa smiled a bit, and Ryan was pleased to know it was genuine. Even after everything awful he had done, Shannon’s best friend did not despise him. He couldn’t see how that was possible, but he was thankful. “Don’t be. This wasn’t your fault, this wasn’t anyone’s fault. This was the two of you being in wrong place at the wrong time. Fate havin’ a bit of a joke on you both.” “Not just this,” He said without thinking, “everything.” If only he were saying the words to Shannon, and not her friend. The smile faded, “I guess there isn’t much you can do about that either. But thank you. Take care, Ryan.” And with that she turned and moved back to where the lovely girl had run too minutes ago. The door swung a little more as Carrissa pushed it open and as it remained open longer, Ryan had a better look of the back room than he really realized he wanted to have. As the first thing he saw, and ONLY thing he could possibly focus on through that swinging door was the back of Shannon’s golden blonde hair, as she was held in the embrace of another, tall, redheaded, young man. ~~~
Will, obviously, had no idea what was going on. But when he’d seen Shannon run into the kitchen, face red and eyes filled with tears, he simply took her in his arms and let her cry. She had never been happier to have him there as she did right then – he never asked questions. Good. She didn’t want to explain her tears then. She couldn’t believe her tears. So, she’d fallen and the man she loved and hadn’t seen in months and months had helped her. He didn’t do anything else, nothing worth this much panic and distress. She shouldn’t have run from him like that. She shouldn’t be crying now. But she couldn’t help it, after that terrifying and wonderful spark that ran through her staring into Ryan’s eyes again. Those wide, confused, incredibly concerned, and breathtakingly beautiful eyes of his. The way a simple gaze from him sped up her heart, as it always had when they were together… for that moment she forgot everything. Forgot that she’d broken his heart, forgot that they had been out of contact for 8 months, forgot her not wanting to talk to him, and that she needed to move on. She couldn’t do this. Shannon could not feel these feelings for him, she just couldn’t. But she’d learned long ago she could not stop them either. She could, on occasion, ignore the felling, but she could never ever NOT be in love with him. This is why she hadn’t wanted to see him. It was so much easier to ignore the feelings she still had when she did not see him. Unlike Will, Carrissa was wild with questions upon Shannon’s return. “What happened? Honey, what’s wrong? Did – oh did he see you?! Did he do something?” Had he done something? Yes, he’d done something. He’d helped her, he’d been nothing but kind to her and she had brushed him away. Her continuous stupidity made her cry harder. She shook her head, not looking up from Will’s silent embrace, “No – I mean, well… I was coming back and- and I fell and everything fell with me and people were helping me and suddenly he was – he was just there. And I freaked.” She heard the sigh that followed, “I- Shannie, sweetie, you just left him back there?” Shannon finally looked up at her friend’s concerned yet skeptical face, “I know, I know – It was stupid. But I was so – so… I didn’t expect it. I was, I was scared.” “You weren’t ready to see him again,” Carrissa nodded, putting another arm into the hug, “I understand.” “I don’t.” Their friend finally murmured, “What is this all about?” “Ryan.” Shannon specified. Will knew a little about the break up, well, enough to know there was a break up. He didn’t have to know about how it depressed her so. He didn’t need to know anymore. So she didn’t tell him. And he so he just nodded, stroking her hair gently, “I’m sorry, Shans.” “It’s nothing,” She tried to convince both him, and her, “I’m over-reacting. Again.” “You have every right to be.” Carrissa sighed. She gave her shoulder a squeeze and then lifted it to rest on Will’s, “You stay here with her; I’m going to see if he’s still out there.” She felt pathetic, having to have someone ‘stay with her’ like she was a child. But with Will holding her she decided not to argue. “Carrissa isn’t going to say anything bad… right?” She finally asked with a little laugh. Internally, she wasn’t jokingly worried about it – she was. Ryan didn’t deserve her running away from him, and he definitely didn’t deserve Carrissa’s sisterly rant about making her cry. He laughed a little, pulling her away slightly, his dark eyes laughing with him. “Nah, Carri wouldn’t. Can’t imagine what she would say in that situation… what anyone would say.” He shook his head, “This is awful for you, isn’t it?” She didn’t really want to talk about it right then, but nodded solemnly, “Well, I can’t say it’s the most enjoyable experience in the world.” There was a pause, “Shannon, DID he do anything? Really? I know you told Carri he didn’t but maybe – “ “No!” She shook her head fast, eyes wide, “No, no, Will. He- I promise he just- he was as surprised to see me as I was to see him. He was just helping me from falling, that’s all…” Will smiled a little, “Alright, I believe you. I just don’t want you not telling Carri things because you don’t want to talk about it, or you don’t want her to say anything bad. She worries… we worry.” “I wouldn’t, I mean, even if I tried I couldn’t. I’m not a good liar.” She rested her head on him again, “Thank you for worrying though, you and Carrissa.” “It’s nothing.” Carrissa came back in at that moment, rubbing her temples. “He was there, but he’s gone now, Shannie.” Will had dropped her gently to go to their other friend, who looked mildly exhausted. “You okay, Carri?” She beamed at him, “Fine, just a little worn down by all the emotions packed on emotions today.” “Did he talk to you?” Shannon asked, a little more nervous than she knew should have been. “Yes, of course he did.” She replied, “I didn’t expect him to just let me come out without saying something.” “What’d he say?” “He’s sorry.” Shannon’s heart pounded and ached simultaneously. She wasn’t even sure why. Of course he’d say that – it had been an accident and she had run off, clearly upset. He would apologize of course. “He would be.” Was all she could say. Carrissa shook her head, “Not just about this, he said, about everything.” Everything. Everything ruined between them. She silently cursed him, he needed to stop being so impossibly considerate. She could not do this, feel this warmth and love for him and long… long to speak to him. Oh, this is why it distressed her so much to see him, there, then. She shook her head trying to fight back the tears that welled up again. Get yourself together, Shannon, she told herself stubbornly. That of course, truly didn’t do anything and her friend’s caught the tears trickling down her cheeks. They didn’t deserve to be caught up in all of this, either. She didn’t want them worrying non-stop over her. Carrissa sighed a little and mumbled, “I told him this would happen.” Then put both hands on her shoulder, “We’re going out tonight, Shannon. We’ll get your mind off of this.” “You don’t have-“ Laughter, “You make it sound like going out for a night is torture for us. Shannie, I know this is hard – if I have to take you out every night for the next month or so, I’ll happily do so.” She winked. “Now, let’s finish our job here, and get this all out of our heads, kay?” Shannon sighed, and hugged her friends again, “Okay. Thank you.” She was ready to put this behind her. If only it were that easy.
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Post by celticbear on Feb 12, 2011 23:27:55 GMT -5
TANGY! YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS RIGHT! RYAN AND SHANNON ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! DON'T MAKE ME SIT ON MY KEITH ROCK WITH THE PITCHFORK IN ATTACK POSITION!
UPDATE SOON,PLEASE!
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Post by meg_cahill21 on Feb 13, 2011 8:43:55 GMT -5
u have to put Ryan and Shannon together. and geez CB, u tell me im violent!!! what about u!?!??! hahaha
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Post by laurenne on Feb 13, 2011 19:47:49 GMT -5
Poor Shannon, I hope she talks to him soon. More soon, please.
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Post by misssunflower on Feb 13, 2011 23:22:23 GMT -5
“So, she’s… got a boyfriend, then?” Ryan was explaining the disaster of lunch to the Friday after it’s occurrence. It appeared he hadn’t been doing a good job at being a-okay around his mates. And he was the actor of the group. So he dropped it and explained – from the conversation with Carrissa to seeing a distressed Shannon in the arms of another man. Something that he couldn’t completely wrap his mind around. It appeared none of the other 5 men could believe it anymore than he could. If anything, they were more shocked. He shrugged to the speaker, who happened to be Neil. They were slouching back in the studio during a break from recording their next albums. “That’s certainly what it looked like.” “What it looked like and what it is can be pretty different things, though.” Paul pointed out, dryly. “And what exactly did you see?” Keith added. Did he really have to go over it another time? It hadn’t been great to watch the first time, and difficult to explain as well. It wasn’t something he wanted to replay in his head numerous times, though he imagined he would be. He tried to think about what they were telling him… that maybe what he’d seen didn’t mean she had a boyfriend, that maybe it wasn’t what it had looked like. Ryan HAD only seen her in Will’s arms for a split second, but in his mind it had been enough. Memories of Shannon in HIS arms, in that exact position, played in his mind. And those embraces had always been EXACTLY what they looked like. “She was just- He was just holding her.” He sighed, trying to make it sound like an off-hand thing, and failing, “Like I would, when we were- when she was upset. And… yeah.” Neil shook his head, “Paul’s right, that doen’ mean anything. You know, you don’t know who he is… a brother, maybe?” “She’s an only child.” He pointed out quietly. “A friend, then. Like the girl, Carrissa. There would be nothing strange if you had seen the hug between them, right?” Ryan shrugged again. Okay, the soft-spoken young man had a point. But he didn’t know how to explain it, what he’d seen. He wasn’t hugging her, he was holding her. There was a very small but important difference between those two things and it was a difference Ryan knew. But he didn’t want to argue it. He shouldn’t have kept the conversation going as long anyways. The whole conversation sounded far too much like that of a man who caught his girl cheating on him. Shannon wasn’t his, just because he still loved her didn’t make her his. She was free to be held by any man she wished. God, he seriously needed to pull himself together. Paul seemed to think the same thing, “Ryan, you seriously need a night out, mate. I know this is impossible for you, but you gotta get your mind OFF her. If only for a little while.” He attempted a grin at his unusually wise friend, “I know… I doubt I can, but if you want me to, I’ll try.” Keith laughed, “I suppose that’s all we can ask for, mate. Maybe you can see that there are other girls out there.” Everyone nodded but Ryan laughed, “This from a guy who has never had to deal with anything like this at all.” George shook his head from where he hadn’t added much into the conversation yet, “I married my first girl so, I suppose I haven’t been through this either.” “I have.” Paul tossed in. “A couple times.” He paused, “Okay, but I’ll admit most of them were pretty… less agonizing. So I can’t totally sympathize.” He grinned, though, “Thanks for trying anyways. I know I haven’t been the most craic in a while.” “You haven’t been.” Damian poked in, laughing. “You’re a comfort.” He openly laughed a bit now. The younger lad grinned impishly, “I obviously am. Only person to have gotten that much of a laugh from you.” Ryan shook his head, never so thankful for the group of brother-like mates he was surrounded with in Celtic Thunder as he was then. This would be so much worse without them, so much worse. Shannon had loved the guys too, she had loved Celtic Thunder. She had never liked his traveling and she had a love/hate relationship with his having fans. But she’d always liked the guys. And they had always liked her. He knew Keith was serious about wanting him to maybe look for other girls, but he knew that they would be happy to see him back with her. He shook that away. He wasn’t going to get back with her. He couldn’t. He’d hurt her and she obviously was only distressed at seeing him again. To the point where she had run away in tears at a simple chance encounter. The chances of him ever getting back with her were so slim they weren’t. They were impossible. And then there was Will… And here his mind had stupidly slipped back into his jealous thoughts. He should have been a little happy at least. Knowing that she was with someone who loved her and who she loved. But he just couldn’t be, he just couldn’t deep inside he’d always see Shannon as his. And feeling that, it just hurt to know that she was with anyone, that wasn’t him. Ryan sighed. His mates were so right. He really, really, REALLY needed to get his mind off of her, if only for one night… then he could return to moping, sighing about how he longed for her still. But he needed one night to be free of her. His friend’s needed one night to not worry about him – they didn’t deserve any of the depression he pushed on them. “Alright.” He said, forcing a little smile, “We’ll go out for the night then. You guys are right. I need this.” Paul laughed, “And we don’t mind a night of drinks ourselves. You’ll be paying, of course.” George gave him a friendly smack, “No taxing of the emotionally injured, mate.” “I’m joking!” He teasingly rubbed his arm, “Geez.” Ryan laughed aloud for the second time that afternoon. For the second time in a week probably. In what felt like years. In the time he’d had without his own source of continuous happiness, Shannon, in his life. He whacked Paul’s same arm just for another laugh, “For that one, I’m thinking you’ll be the one paying tonight.” He stood up, “Now come on and let’s finish this soon. Sooner we can head out the better.” He’d only hope this would work. Who knew, maybe this would help him keep his mind off her for more than a night… maybe he’d be able to start moving on. ~~~
Shannon wasn’t exactly a big fan of pubs. They were craic, there was music and talking laughter and drinks all around. And, well, they could definitely get her mind off of things. She’d admit that much. But they were crowded, loud and usually left her with a headache at best by the end of the night. She sighed and sipped at her drink while attempting to talk to her two friends over the sounds of music and laughter surrounding them. At least the rest of Ireland appeared to be in a good mood. She couldn’t help but notice every couple in the room, either, kind of like her senses were suddenly hyper alert to any two people… expressing their feelings for each other. The third time she happened to glance at two people who seemed nearly glued to each other she decided that the texture of the bar she sat at was terribly interesting – and avoided looking away from it for some time. It was Friday, two days after the lunch incident. The night before Carrissa had taken her shopping and the night of it the three friends had seen a movie. Shannon began to wonder if this would be a nightly thing, and how long it would be lasting for. Will and Carrissa were in and out of her conversation and view throughout that night. Between getting another drink or finding another person they knew in the small pub, someone much more cheerful and talkative than she could possibly be, she found herself alone quite often. Shannon didn’t mind though, she just tried to listen to the constant buzz of noise around her. And not on her conflicting thoughts and feelings. This was good, for all her distaste of the noise it was definitely good. But it went downhill fast. Her friends neither knew nor cared much about Celtic Thunder past the fact that Ryan was in it and it toured the states. So Shannon would have never expected what followed in the next few minutes. “Carrissa?” A voice asked while the two girls attempted to hold conversation over the noise, about nothing of any importance. Will was off… somewhere at that moment. Shannon hadn’t bothered keeping track. The two girls looked up to see the surprised face of a particularly good-looking young man. A young man she knew she’d seen before, but never expected her friend to know. Carrissa didn’t seem surprised at all, or at least not the same level as Shannon was right then. “Neil!” She laughed, “Geez, it’s been a while! How’ve you been!?” She knew Neil? She knew the guitarist of Celtic Thunder? And she’d never TOLD her!? But before she could grow indignant she thought about her friend’s little Celtic Thunder education. Carrissa probably had no idea who he was, aside from a charming friend she’d met sometime when Shannon had not been present. That became obvious when after a moment of catching up between the two of them, Carrissa tugged on her, “Oh! Neil, you haven’t met Shannon yet, have you?” Neil’s eyes widened considerably as though noticing her for the first time. She knew she’d only met him once, a few years ago and even if he hadn’t remembered her from there, Ryan would have obviously spoke about her often. But he remained silent and let their mutual friend go through the introduction process. Shannon herself was trying to get a hold of her self. So, Neil was here. So what? They were allowed to go off on their own, without the other men there. It didn’t mea- he wasn’t there. She repeated it to herself a few dozen times, growing faster with her heart rate. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there. He. Was. Not. The- “Neil? There you are! I was wondering where you disappeared t-“ Ryan stopped dead pushing through a crowd of people to his friend, and seeing Shannon’s face. Her own heart stopped then, and she briefly felt like she was seriously going to die. She was supposed to be getting her mind OFF of him! And then he had to show up again? Really, life? Did you hate her THAT much? Neil was giving his black-haired friend a sheepish look, and Carrissa was looking between them as she finally pieced together everything in that split second. There was a silence. “I’m going to get another drink.” “I’m going to find the other guys.” Before a word of protest could lift off either’s mouth the two friends that started this all were gone in a mass of laughing people. And Ryan and Shannon were forced alone. She knew she should say something. Something about needing to help Carrissa, something to get her out of there… but nothing came to mind. So she stood, absolutely stiff, staring, yet again, into Ryan’s beautiful eyes. His expression was completely unreadable but she could bet he was thinking of something to say as well. When nothing came up the silence just stretched and Shannon could only pray Carrissa would return soon. He spoke first, nearly whispered, as if speaking too loud would hurt. “You alright?” “What?” He looked away in a kind of casually embarrassed way, then glanced back, “You know, after- after Wednesday, you know, after falling. Are you alright?” Oh. That. She wasn’t sure if that was what he was really concerned about or not. She found she didn’t want to know. She sighed, trying to keep her hysteria out of her voice, “Oh. No, I mean, I mean, y-yeah. I’m- I’m fine. Thanks.” “It’s nothing.” He smiled a vague smile that didn’t make it up to his eyes. She remembered how those eyes could sparkle with laughter when a smile wasn’t even cracking on his lips. The flip of that was fairly unnerving. “So…” Now that they had begun, Shannon felt she had to keep talking. However, knowing nothing to say made the worst question leave her lips, “Are you here with anyone?” Stupid. Stupid Shannon. Why did she ask that? Of course she shouldn’t care if he was seeing someone, though Carrissa had tried to convince her that that was unlikely. But she did care, she knew she cared, and she could not deny that the tear in her slowly mending heart would, stupidly, reopen if his answer was positive. But even if she knew she cared… he didn’t have to know that. Why the heck did she ask that!? She didn’t know what reaction she’d expect from him, but it definitely was not the slightly more Ryan-like smile that came over him. “Well, you saw Neil, however briefly. The other guys are here too.” He paused, as though suddenly realizing her question, “But no, no one else.” “Oh.” Was all Shannon could say as she nearly bit her tongue to keep from sighing in a bit of relief. She supposed if she was moving on, she should want him to as well. But she wasn’t sure that would ever work, and she knew she would never truly move on. He nodded a bit before asking, “And you?” It took her a second to understand the question. Oh, right. Was she with anyone? Was he really curious, or just being polite and keeping conversation. She didn’t want to read to far into that and shook her head a little to clear it. “Oh – Oh, I’m, well, you saw Carrissa right?” Another nod and half smile, “Of course.” She tried to return it, “So yes, I’m with her and – and uh…” “Shans, love, have you left this bar at all tonight?” Will’s voice echoed through the crowd as if a cue. Within seconds the tall man had pushed his way through and put his arm around her casually, all before noticing Ryan. Already immensely happier that there was another person in this conversation now, and that this person was friendly comforting Will, Shannon smiled a little at him before returning her eyes to Ryan’s. “And you remember Will, don’t you?”
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Post by laurenne on Feb 14, 2011 1:08:42 GMT -5
You have to update soon. I need to know what happens.
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