Post by misssunflower on Mar 24, 2011 21:19:38 GMT -5
But Paul, apparently, was out running longer than Cleo had thought, and so she returned to the conversation awkwardly.
And with nothing else to say, Neil decided to confide his sudden ‘what if’ question to her.
Predictably, she laughed, “Neil, this is Maddie. Yes, she’s a fan or a thunderhead or whatever you call them, but that wouldn’t be the reason she loves you.”
Well, that SHOULD have relieved him, shouldn’t it have? But, well, of course, Cleo would say that about her best friend. Of course she wouldn’t believe that Maddie would do that… would be that way… he still couldn’t believe Maddie would do that. But for that, all the same, it did nothing to calm his nerves about it.
Maddie had never even mentioned knowing about the lads, though… she’d never acted like a fan at all. Maybe she was trying to cover it up, but, she just- he hated to even imagine that that may be all that she loved about him. The him in CT. While the person he was on stage was no act, it wasn’t exactly HIM either…
And he found that he loved EVERYTHING about her. Everything from her laughter to her anti-social-ness and everything in between. He wanted that kind of thing to be mutual.
He realized he’d needed to say something back to Cleo, and couldn’t think of anything… “Well, I know, or I t’ink I know… but it’s hard to know t’at for sure… it’s hard to tell when she’s a grou-“
“Neil.” She cut in quickly, “I’m going save you from potentially screwing up whatever relationship you and Maddie have or will have; DO NOT call her a groupie. Ever.”
He blinked, “Yes, ma’am.” He didn’t know why this would be a big problem but if it involved Maddie being upset with him, it was the last thing he wanted to do.
She giggled a little, “You know, I could probably use that as blackmail someday. Ever do anything bad and I’ll more than happily tell her you called her a groupie.”
Neil laughed too, because he knew Cleo well enough, “You know I’d never do anyt’ing you’d consider bad enough for t’at.”
“Don’t try your luck, Guitarboy.”
“Wouldn’t dream o’ it.”
She laughed more, “Look, though, I really wouldn’t worry about it.” The laughter faded and she was completely serious, “If you decide you can’t handle not knowing the nature of her feelings for you, Paul and I will be back in 3 days, and Maddie will go back to Boston. Not torment ya wi’ it anymore.” He could hear the wry smile in her tone.
He didn’t tell her that that wouldn’t work. Just because she was back in Boston would not mean this would stop ‘tormenting him’, as it were. In fact it would probably be all the worse. Knowing she was there, and he was here, and maybe they COULD have had something, or they could not have, but never knowing for sure. Never being able to know for sure…
And having that one single kiss always hanging between them.
“Don’t remind me.” He muttered.
Cleo’s tone softened, “I know.” She said. “I don’t want her to leave either.”
He sighed, “Yeah…” He decided this conversation had long passed the awkward line, and was now worth ending. “Well, ehm, t’anks anyways Cleo. I just needed-“
“Needed to talk to someone?” She finished, “Yeah, I know that feeling. At least you acted on it, I didn’t… but anyways, hope I helped.”
“Ya did.” He only half lied. While her words of reassurance had done little reassuring, just getting out his own worries had been a little helpful. “T’ank you very much, Cleo. I’ll let ye go.”
“Not a problem, Neil. Hope everything works. If you and Mads really love each other, I bet it will.”
God, he hoped. There was little else he could ever hope for in his life at that point. Thinking about it, really, there was nothing else he much wanted in his life, except Maddie.
Without thinking, of course, Neil had ended the call before talking to the person he was really calling to talk to. Smooth. Cleo had helped enough, though. Kind of. Probably as much as Paul would have, and with half as much slagging.
But now he was confused again, not about the same deal anymore, though. But still confused, possibly MORE than before.
He knew he shouldn’t have been, as he knew that what was confusing him… that stupid thought that was now nagging at him, and probably would for a long time, was absolutely ridiculous. Fears like that always were, but that didn’t make a person feel them any less.
Throughout that afternoon, despite keeping occupied, he was still in a turmoil of thoughts surrounding Maddie, love, and Thunderheads.
When the phone rang it was mid-evening, and he imagined it was Paul, who had heard from his wife of his earlier call on them. That would certainly be an interesting conversation. Cleo, being Cleo, would probably have not told her husband the reason for the call, so he’d have to explain it a second time. Joy.
Thankfully able to keep from sighing he answered, “Hello Paul.”
“Um… last time I checked I wasn’t Paul.” Maddie’s quiet, awkward, lovely voice echoed in his ears and caused him to nearly drop the phone. Well THIS was unexpected. He wondered if her thoughts had been on him all day just as his had been on her.
He heard himself laughed a little, “No, you’re certainly not. H-How are you?” He wondered if her thoughts were in turmoil too, and if so, why. He wondered if she would be able to hear the turmoil of his, or possibly know the reason. And if there was any way he could make sure she didn’t know.
She was laughing softly too. Yes, she sounded as mixed and confused as he felt. That was, strangely enough, the most comforting thing for Neil all day. His worry felt more irrational by the second. Still there, in the back of his mind, but momentarily covered.
If only he could just erase it and be done with it.
“I’m, I’m um, pretty good, Neil.” God, he even loved the way she said his name. “You?”
“Great.” He lied.
“You sound tired.”
Of course, SHE’D be able to see through it. His face heated up, “Didn’t sleep great last night.”
“You too, huh?” She replied softly.
Well that answered where her thoughts had been. Actually, that made him smile, the slightest bit. “Yeah, so, ehm, what do I owe t’is call?”
She laughed again, shyly, “Didn’t know I needed a reason to call.” He could think of absolutely nothing to say to that, and so she continued, “But, I guess, I was wondering… well, Chris was too… but I mean- I- I was wondering if ya wanted to um come over again, on Saturday.”
Neil blinked, trying to gather his thoughts. He supposed he really did want to see her again, and soon. His idiotic worries about her feelings seemed to fade a considerable amount when Maddie was actually THERE. And besides, the idea of avoiding getting close to her had failed, attempting to stop himself from being in love with her would have the same effect, so why try?
When he was silent, mulling this, she added quietly, “And, well, you know I’m leaving Sunday afternoon, right? I t’ought, I was hoping to see you before I left…”
Well, there was no way on earth he could refuse.
And with nothing else to say, Neil decided to confide his sudden ‘what if’ question to her.
Predictably, she laughed, “Neil, this is Maddie. Yes, she’s a fan or a thunderhead or whatever you call them, but that wouldn’t be the reason she loves you.”
Well, that SHOULD have relieved him, shouldn’t it have? But, well, of course, Cleo would say that about her best friend. Of course she wouldn’t believe that Maddie would do that… would be that way… he still couldn’t believe Maddie would do that. But for that, all the same, it did nothing to calm his nerves about it.
Maddie had never even mentioned knowing about the lads, though… she’d never acted like a fan at all. Maybe she was trying to cover it up, but, she just- he hated to even imagine that that may be all that she loved about him. The him in CT. While the person he was on stage was no act, it wasn’t exactly HIM either…
And he found that he loved EVERYTHING about her. Everything from her laughter to her anti-social-ness and everything in between. He wanted that kind of thing to be mutual.
He realized he’d needed to say something back to Cleo, and couldn’t think of anything… “Well, I know, or I t’ink I know… but it’s hard to know t’at for sure… it’s hard to tell when she’s a grou-“
“Neil.” She cut in quickly, “I’m going save you from potentially screwing up whatever relationship you and Maddie have or will have; DO NOT call her a groupie. Ever.”
He blinked, “Yes, ma’am.” He didn’t know why this would be a big problem but if it involved Maddie being upset with him, it was the last thing he wanted to do.
She giggled a little, “You know, I could probably use that as blackmail someday. Ever do anything bad and I’ll more than happily tell her you called her a groupie.”
Neil laughed too, because he knew Cleo well enough, “You know I’d never do anyt’ing you’d consider bad enough for t’at.”
“Don’t try your luck, Guitarboy.”
“Wouldn’t dream o’ it.”
She laughed more, “Look, though, I really wouldn’t worry about it.” The laughter faded and she was completely serious, “If you decide you can’t handle not knowing the nature of her feelings for you, Paul and I will be back in 3 days, and Maddie will go back to Boston. Not torment ya wi’ it anymore.” He could hear the wry smile in her tone.
He didn’t tell her that that wouldn’t work. Just because she was back in Boston would not mean this would stop ‘tormenting him’, as it were. In fact it would probably be all the worse. Knowing she was there, and he was here, and maybe they COULD have had something, or they could not have, but never knowing for sure. Never being able to know for sure…
And having that one single kiss always hanging between them.
“Don’t remind me.” He muttered.
Cleo’s tone softened, “I know.” She said. “I don’t want her to leave either.”
He sighed, “Yeah…” He decided this conversation had long passed the awkward line, and was now worth ending. “Well, ehm, t’anks anyways Cleo. I just needed-“
“Needed to talk to someone?” She finished, “Yeah, I know that feeling. At least you acted on it, I didn’t… but anyways, hope I helped.”
“Ya did.” He only half lied. While her words of reassurance had done little reassuring, just getting out his own worries had been a little helpful. “T’ank you very much, Cleo. I’ll let ye go.”
“Not a problem, Neil. Hope everything works. If you and Mads really love each other, I bet it will.”
God, he hoped. There was little else he could ever hope for in his life at that point. Thinking about it, really, there was nothing else he much wanted in his life, except Maddie.
Without thinking, of course, Neil had ended the call before talking to the person he was really calling to talk to. Smooth. Cleo had helped enough, though. Kind of. Probably as much as Paul would have, and with half as much slagging.
But now he was confused again, not about the same deal anymore, though. But still confused, possibly MORE than before.
He knew he shouldn’t have been, as he knew that what was confusing him… that stupid thought that was now nagging at him, and probably would for a long time, was absolutely ridiculous. Fears like that always were, but that didn’t make a person feel them any less.
Throughout that afternoon, despite keeping occupied, he was still in a turmoil of thoughts surrounding Maddie, love, and Thunderheads.
When the phone rang it was mid-evening, and he imagined it was Paul, who had heard from his wife of his earlier call on them. That would certainly be an interesting conversation. Cleo, being Cleo, would probably have not told her husband the reason for the call, so he’d have to explain it a second time. Joy.
Thankfully able to keep from sighing he answered, “Hello Paul.”
“Um… last time I checked I wasn’t Paul.” Maddie’s quiet, awkward, lovely voice echoed in his ears and caused him to nearly drop the phone. Well THIS was unexpected. He wondered if her thoughts had been on him all day just as his had been on her.
He heard himself laughed a little, “No, you’re certainly not. H-How are you?” He wondered if her thoughts were in turmoil too, and if so, why. He wondered if she would be able to hear the turmoil of his, or possibly know the reason. And if there was any way he could make sure she didn’t know.
She was laughing softly too. Yes, she sounded as mixed and confused as he felt. That was, strangely enough, the most comforting thing for Neil all day. His worry felt more irrational by the second. Still there, in the back of his mind, but momentarily covered.
If only he could just erase it and be done with it.
“I’m, I’m um, pretty good, Neil.” God, he even loved the way she said his name. “You?”
“Great.” He lied.
“You sound tired.”
Of course, SHE’D be able to see through it. His face heated up, “Didn’t sleep great last night.”
“You too, huh?” She replied softly.
Well that answered where her thoughts had been. Actually, that made him smile, the slightest bit. “Yeah, so, ehm, what do I owe t’is call?”
She laughed again, shyly, “Didn’t know I needed a reason to call.” He could think of absolutely nothing to say to that, and so she continued, “But, I guess, I was wondering… well, Chris was too… but I mean- I- I was wondering if ya wanted to um come over again, on Saturday.”
Neil blinked, trying to gather his thoughts. He supposed he really did want to see her again, and soon. His idiotic worries about her feelings seemed to fade a considerable amount when Maddie was actually THERE. And besides, the idea of avoiding getting close to her had failed, attempting to stop himself from being in love with her would have the same effect, so why try?
When he was silent, mulling this, she added quietly, “And, well, you know I’m leaving Sunday afternoon, right? I t’ought, I was hoping to see you before I left…”
Well, there was no way on earth he could refuse.