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Torn
Sept 20, 2010 7:36:22 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Sept 20, 2010 7:36:22 GMT -5
"I have worked for your uncle for many a year now," Ryan said as they walked,"How is it I have never seen you?"
Abbie shrugged her shoulders,"I'm tend not to be very social, but I'm sure you have met my sister Melinda."
Ryan laughed,"Blonde hair, blue eyes, tends to over do herself?"
"Wow! Perfect description", she smiled,"She is all a twitter about her engagement."
"Whom is she marrying?"
"Paul Byrom, a good Irish lad as my Papa likes to say it. To me he is a little on the strange, tends to talk too much, yet have no point side of things."
"You have a way with words Abigail", he said taking both her hands in his as they approached the entrance to the large house,"Shall I walk you further?"
Abbie wanted so badly for him to stay with her and to keep talking, but she knew the house servants would be rising soon,"No, I will be fine", she answered,"I had such a grand time tonight."
"Aye, as did I", he ran a finger tip over her cheek down to her chin and lifted her face to his,"Shall we meet again?", he said softly his lips hovering just above hers.
"I can't keep sneaking out", she said placing her hands against his chest.
"Then I will come to you", he smiled wrapping his free arm around her waist holding her tightly.
"When?", she asked.
"Soon", he said kissing her tenderly allowing his lips to linger on hers,"Good night Abigail."
"Good night Ryan", she hesitantly separated herself from the warmth of his embrace.
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Torn
Sept 20, 2010 16:39:45 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Sept 20, 2010 16:39:45 GMT -5
"Do you know what you're getting yourself into?", Damian asked Ryan as they loaded firewood into the keep next to the large house.
"I think I do", Ryan answered,"Just because she has stature does not make her like the rest."
"Ryan, we serve these people, we don't live in luxury like they do. We have fires down by the creek, they have cotillions in their homes."
"Abigail is different Damian. You're young, I don't expect you to understand. I enjoy her company, we have a wonderful time together."
"Are you planning to see her again?"
"Indeed", he answered,"Not sure when, her sister just got engaged so there is a lot going on. Last thing either one of us needs is to be caught shirking our responsibilites or be seen together."
"When did you see her last?"
"Few days ago, that night by the creek."
"That was nearly five days ago!", Damian laughed.
"Thanks for the reminder."
"If you want to go see her, I can cover for you" he offered.
"I can wait until evening" Ryan said closing the lid on the large wood keep,"The horses will be bedded for the night and most everyone will be in from their daily work."
"I wish you luck friend", Damian smiled before taking a small load of wood into the house.
Abigail stood on a small rounded milking stool, she groaned as the seamstress measured her for what felt like the one hundreth time.
"Really Abigail", her mother scolded,"This dress will be for your sister's wedding."
"Momma, I have been the same size for a while now. Plus we have been doing this all day."
"Actually", Madeline corrected,"We have been looking at designs and fabrics for the most part. Now we are making sure the design will be right."
"What's Melinda?", she questioned.
"She and Paul are at his parents' home discussing arrangements for living once they are married. Your papa is with them."
"Oh", she said staring longinly out the window. It had been five days since she had seen Ryan. She missed him and that frightened her. He was unlike other suitors that had tried to court her in the past. He had certainly put her in her place when he grabbed her that night. She thought about his lips on hers and his hands in her hair. A thrill shot through her body as she thought of his eyes, flashing from a delicate blue to an icey gray. Those eyes were like pools drwaing her farther and farther under.
"Abbie, Abigail", Madeline snapped her fingers at her daughter.
"Sorry Momma", she turned quickly.
"We're finished, you may go."
"Thank you", she said stepping down from the small stool.
"Dinner will be soon."
"I'll wash up", Abbie replied going to the kitchen. She poured warm water into a basin to wash her hands. She hoped to have time for a walk before dinner.
"Miss Abigail?", came a small voice from behind her.
"Yes Sarah", she smiled at the young girl with caramel colored skin and sweet brown eyes.
"I was asked to give you this", she held out a folded piece of paper.
"Who gave it to you?"
"He said you would know", she answered.
"Thank you Sarah", she took the piece of paper.
"Yes ma'm," she gave a slight bob of her head and went to check on the simmering food.
Abbie smiled to herself as she was sure she knew who the letter was from. She made her way outside and carefully unfolded the small sheet. In a slanted quick script was written; "Meet me just after sun down. I'll be waiting by the well -Ryan"
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Torn
Oct 31, 2010 9:12:10 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Oct 31, 2010 9:12:10 GMT -5
Abbie folded the letter carefully placing into the pocket of the apron she had put on. She tried to conceal the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth as she thought of seeing Ryan. She occupied herself by helping Sarah prepare the evening's meal. It would only be she and her mother dining that night. Her father along with Paul, and Melinda would be dining with Paul's parents. Dinner was quiet except for Madeline's attempt at conversation with her daughter.
"You seem out of sorts Abigail", Madeline said carefully dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a linen napkin.
"Sorry Momma", she apologized,"I think I am just tired, that is all. A lot has been going on the last few days."
"Speaking about your sister?"
"Yes and no", she said pushing her food around her plate,"I just see things changing very suddenly."
"These changes are good though honey," she squeezed her daughter's hand,"Right now there is a lot of attention focused on Melinda, I would have thought you preferred it that way."
"Oh I do," she smiled,"Guess I am just taking everything in," she paused trying to find an inconspicuous way to bring up her next topic,"Did you have anyone before papa?"
"You mean did I court?"
"Yes, before you and papa married, did anyone else court you?"
Madeline thought for a moment,"A few boys tried, but they knew your papa was intent on courting me."
"Were any of them, well not very rich? Or maybe boys that grandfather did not approve of?"
She shook her head,"Your grandfather would not allow something like that. There were boys that interested me who were, shall we say less fortunate. But I knew nothing could ever come of it. Why do you ask?"
"Just wondering", she answered nonchalantly.
"Is something going on Abigail?"
"No Momma". she said realizing her mistake,"I was just asking a question."
"You know that Keith Harking is quite taken with you,"she smiled,"I'm sure he would love to call on you."
"I have no interest in him at all. I don't plan on courting until good and ready."
"You are not getting any younger my dear", Madeline said placing her fork on the edge of her plate.
"Thank you Momma", she said coolly," May I be excused?"
Madeline nodded,"Abbie, I didn't mean that to be harsh. But girls your age are usually be courted or pursued, being social would good for you."
"Momma, I am tired and would like to excuse myself," she gave a quick curtsy and made her way to her room. Her mother had just told her that she was old and needed to find a suitor. The one man she did want to be with was someone that clearly her family would not accept. She looked out her window as the pink and purple hues of the sunset gave their final kiss to the horizon. She smiled as she thought of Ryan waiting for her. Seeing him would the the conversation with her mother less painful.
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Torn
Nov 1, 2010 0:02:43 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Nov 1, 2010 0:02:43 GMT -5
Ryan stood next to the old well. The quickly falling night brought its icy fingers across the land. Silvery moonlight played off the leaves of the trees like droplets of water. He rubbed his hands together for warmth as he waited. He had slipped the note to one of the house servants and sent up a silent prayer that it would be given to Abbie. He hadn't meant for so many days to pass, but he hadn't been willing to risk endangerment to Abbie. He took a small wooden pipe from his pocket and lit a piece of flint against the well. He took small puffs and watched the thin wisps of smoke curled into the air. He began to pace around the well as he waited.
"They say this place is haunted", Abbie said as she approached Ryan.
"Aye, so I have heard", he said quickly snuffing out the pipe.
"Good to see you again", she said slowly pulling the hood of her cloak down to her shoulders.
"You as well Ms. Abigail". he smiled taking her hand,"I take it you have been well?"
"I supposed," she said stepping closer to him,"I have to say that patience is not my strong point."
Ryan laughed softly,"I will have to remember that. I should have come to see you sooner."
"You should have", she said playfully,"But I can look past that."
"Thank you for that", he said kissing her tenderly,"Did you have any trouble coming here?"
"Not at all, momma retired early and papa has been with Melinda and Paul all evening. Left me to my own devices."
"I shall have to thank them", he said as they gazed at each other.
"What has kept you the last several days?" she asked as they began to walk.
"I didn't want to risk trouble, it's not that I wanted to stay away. I thought if I came too soon that someone may suspect."
"I am hoping my mother doesn't", she sighed.
"Why do you say that?"
"I," she began,"I just asked if she had been pursued before my papa or if she had ever been interested in someone not in her social circle."
"And what was the answer to that?", he asked as they approached the stables.
"That she had been interested in a boy who was a bit less fortunate than she, but that her father would never have allowed it. She just didn't give it a second thought. Basically saying that I shouldn't have thoughts about anyone not like us."
Ryan stopped and opened the door,"Let us warm up," he took her hand leading her to one of the empty stalls,"I know tis not so fancy, but it's warm."
Abbie sighed as she looked at the small bale of hay set like a table with a small lantern in the middle,"It's perfect, thank you."
"You are welcome, no sense in us freezing," he took a small satchel from the side of the small room and produced small baked rolls with linen napkins,"Made them myself."
"I'm sure they are wonderful", she said accepting the small roll handed to her.
"Have a seat", he offered his hand.
"Thank you", she said lowering herself to the blanket that covered the saw dust and hay,"How did you manage this?"
"It helps when the heads of the stables are friends", he said sitting next to her.
"I see", she said taking a bit of the bread,"This is very good!"
"You're being kind", he smiled," May I just say that you look particularly lovely this evening?"
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Torn
Nov 1, 2010 21:26:00 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Nov 1, 2010 21:26:00 GMT -5
"As opposed to before?", she said with a smile.
"You have looked lovely every time, just a different lovely this evening. Which is a good thing."
"My next thought precisely", she laughed,"How are the horses?"
"Quite good, I have begun preparing them for the winter with blankets and extra thick bedding. You should come visit them."
"Perhaps I will", she said staring at the flickering flame of the lantern.
"Are you okay?", he asked noticing her distant stare.
"Why can't it be like this all the time?", she turned to look at him.
"Like what?"
"Simple", she said turning her eyes back to the flame,"I don't want to worry about marriage, suitors, and my responsibilities. I don't want to be judged because I have money. It's all so irrelevant."
"Abigail," he said placing a finger under her chin forcing her to look at him,"This whole thing can be as simple or as complicated as we want it to be. I have some money saved up, it's not much right now, but it will be."
She shook her head,"I don't care about the money Ryan, I care about you. I just cannot stand these ridiculous barriers and that if I want to see you that we have to be sneaky."
"I care about you too", he said kissing the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her," I have thought about going up North to join up with the Union army, they will pay me after my service."
"You can't possibly be serious!", she looked up at him.
"But I am Abigail"he replied,"I am against the servitude and slavery here in the South. It's not right. A commission from the army may provide us with a future together."
"Ryan", she shook her head,"my whole family is Southern and very devoted to the Confederacy."
"Can you forget about them for one moment Abbie? What do you want, what is going to make you happy?"
"I.........I don't know", she answered. She looked into the crystal icy pools of his eyes, there was an air of certainty and she knew it was unwavering,"I just don't want my family to think that I abandoned them."
"You aren't abandoning them love", he said kissing her softly,"You are deciding for yourself and they can't hate you for that."
"But they will Ryan", she sighed,"All of them will."
"I told you I would not come between you and your family. However, when it comes to your happiness, I will gladly step in."
"You are truly wonderful," she smiled,"but we aren't even at war yet."
"It won't be long, trust me. Turmoil is brewing under the surface and soon it will rear its head."
"When are you leaving?"
"I don't know yet, I am in communication with a friend there. Once I have things in order I will be giving notice to your uncle."
Abbie took a deep breath and knew that her next words would seal an uncertain fate and possibly lead her to a path and a life that she was in no way prepared for and yet that knowledge sent a thrill through her,"You must give me warning enough to make myself ready."
"I will have to wait until after I leave, I want to make sure that I have home in line and that all is well. I won't let you come to something that is unstable."
"This is insane, you do realize this?", he smiled warmly.
"It makes all the sense in the world", she said bringing her lips to his.
Ryan gently wrapped his arms around her lowering them both down onto the blanket. This kiss was unlike their previous kisses, it was the two of them trusting in each other. Knowing that before long their lives would change in ways that neither of them truly knew.
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Torn
Nov 2, 2010 19:36:09 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Nov 2, 2010 19:36:09 GMT -5
The two simply lay together talking quietly. Abbie's head rest against Ryan's chest, his fingers absently stroking her hair,"Do you want a large home?", he asked.
She thought for a moment,"I think something small and cozy is more what would suit me. A cottage or a small house, something to start a family in."
"We're talking about a family already?", he looked at her.
"Well,"she smiled,"Not right away, but maybe one day."
"One day," he said stroking her cheek,"I know all of this will be hard for you, if you change your mind at any point I understand."
"I won't," she shook her head,"I have lived by others rules for far too long and I am finally ready to move away from that. I know they will hate me, possibly for the rest of my life, but as long as I have you. The rest will be okay."
"We will make it", he said kissing her softly,"It will take time and there will be bumps and curves in the road, but we will make it."
"I know that", she smiled placing a hand against his cheek,"When you do leave, will it be long before you send word?"
"I don't honestly know, I have a friend in Boston that I will be with while I get settled. Getting our home built will take time, there several things we have to make sure are in order."
"Promise me something", she took his hand wrapping is arm around her.
"Anything", he said kissing her forehead.
"Write to me, everyday we are apart, tell me everything that is going on."
"Every day?"
"Every day and I will write you as well, I know it will take time for letters to come, but I don't want to lose time."
"Promise me something", he said pulling her closer to him.
"Anything", she answered softly.
"That you won't fall in love with anyone else while I am gone. No matter how tempting that Harkin lad may try to be. You must try to resist his charms."
Abbie couldn't help but laugh,"I will try my hardest, but he is rather charming."
"You would break my heart like that", he said grabbing her sides.
"Stop it", she pushed at his hands.
"Do you give in?", he said continuing his tickle assault on her sides.
"Yes, yes I give in", she laughed swatting at him.
"Thank you", he said triumphantly with a grin.
"Suppose we should start heading back?", she said sitting up.
"If you would like too we can", he followed her suit.
"Not that I want too", she said resting her head on his shoulder.
"I know", he said pulling her to her feet and picking up the lantern. They walked hand in hand neither one of them saying anything.
"Can you walk me to the back entrance?" Abbie asked.
"Of course", Ryan said as they made their way past the well towards the back of the large house,"I will call on you soon."
"Sooner than five days?", she teased toying with the buttons on his jacket.
"Much sooner", he said lifting her face to his,"besides your sister is having an engagement party soon. Your Aunt Brianna has been going nuts according to Damian."
"Until next time Mr.Kelly", she said wrapping her arms around his neck as they embraced softly.
"I should go", he murmered against her lips.
"Yes you should", she whispered as they kissed again,"We could be caught," she felt the door against her back as he pressed his lips to hers.
"Good night Abbie", he smiled and ran a finger over her warm cheek.
"Good night", she said finding the knob on the door and letting herself in. She quietly made her way through the house towards the staircase. She kept replaying her evening as she climbed the stairs to her room.
"Where have you been?", came Melinda's voice from her open doorway.
"I've been no where, Melinda", she sighed,"I am just late going to bed."
"The clock rang midnight long ago and I know you have not been in your room."
"it's none of your business, just leave me alone."
"You should be thanking me, I made sure Papa didn't check on you," she said smugly.
Abbie turned to her sister,"Thank you Mel, is that all?"
"You were with someone weren't you?"
"I wasn't with anyone, I was having time to myself. I know you think because your engaged that you know everything, but you don't."
"I am not saying I know everything, but Abbie you are my baby sister and I know what it's like to be in love. That is the look on your face right now."
She froze for a moment,"I am going to bed Mel."
"Abbie, just don't be stupid about it is all I am saying."
"Good night", she said closing her door.
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Torn
Nov 6, 2010 20:15:14 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Nov 6, 2010 20:15:14 GMT -5
"Abigail I am going into town today, would you like to accompany me?", Sean asked his daughter at breakfast.
"That sounds lovely", she agreed stifling a yawn.
"Did you sleep well?", he father looked at her.
"Yes sir", she replied,"Still waking up I suppose."
"Papa, I was so excited about all the news that I kept her up late talking," Melinda assured her father.
"You girls and your wedding talk", he chuckled,"Mel if you wish to come with us you are welcome."
"I think I will, come Abbie, we shall get ready to go."
"May we be excused?", she looked at her parents.
"You may", Madeline nodded.
The two girls left the table quickly,"Thank you Mel", Abbie said softly as they went to put on their cloaks and gloves.
"You are welcome my dear little sister, now will you confide in me? I know there is something that you are not saying."
"I will, but not here in the house. Once we get into town."
"Ms. Abigail", Sarah approached them.
"Hello Sarah," she smiled,"is everything okay?"
"Yes ma'm, this is for you", she handed her a letter.
"Thank you Sarah", she took the letter and tucked it inside of her glove.
"What is that?", Melinda asked.
"I will explain later", she smiled.
"Ladies, shall we?", Sean said pulling on a jacket. The ride into was filled with idle chatter as the horses hooves clattered against the clay road,"I have business with the Mr. Smith in the general store. You girls can walk around and meet me when you are done."
"Thank you Papa", Melinda kissed her father's cheek.
"We'll be back before long", Abbie said as they strolled down the main street.
"Will you tell me now?", Melinda looked at her sister.
"Mel, I have fallen in love", she gushed quietly.
"With whom? It's not Keith, I know that."
"With someone quite unexpected actually", she laughed,"His name is Ryan Kelly, he is the head stableman for Uncle Michael."
"Abigail are you being serious?", she looked at her sister.
"Absolutely", she answered,"You have to swear you won't say anything, please Mel."
"You know Momma and Papa will not like this."
"I know, but we are keeping everything quiet for the moment. He isn't rich and I don't care. None of it matters to me Mel."
Melinda sighed,"I know it doesn't matter to you, but it matters to our parents and to our grandparents."
"There's more to it than what I am saying and as soon as I can tell you I will, but please for now I am begging you not to say anything."
"I swear I will not say anything Abigail", she hugged her sister,"Now tell me all about him!"
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Torn
Nov 7, 2010 23:06:27 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Nov 7, 2010 23:06:27 GMT -5
Abbie told her sister about Ryan, it felt good to be able to talk to someone about him rather than keeping everything inside. She didn't realize how much she had gone on until Melinda simply stared at her with a wide smile,"What?", she asked.
"Do you know how long I have waited for you to talk about someone like this? I would go on about Paul and you would barely react, now we have something to share."
Abbie laughed,"I finally understand how you feel. It's just different than I thought. I think about him constantly and when we're together I think about the next time I can see him. There's more to this though Mel."
"You can tell me", she said with a smile.
"This is serious Mel", she pulled her sister to the side of the building,"He is moving North and wants me to go with him, not right away, but soon."
"Abigail, that is impossible. You know our family has all its roots here. The plantation and Lord knows about loyalty to the confederacy."
"Don't you ever get tired of the whole thing Mel? Our family pulling all the strings and what they expect from us?"
"We didn't choose this life Abbie, we were born into it. I for one am not opposed to the fortunate lifestyle we lead. Paul will be taking over the plantation from his father when the time comes. You know that they will never let you go Abbie, don't do this."
"I don't know when he will send for me, but when he does I am leaving. You can either help me or just let me go. I want to be with Ryan and I know that times are hard right now, people are being pulled in every which way. I know you may not understand why I want to do this and it scares me too. The truth of the matter is I am done listening to everyone else."
"If they find out they will try to come after you and that could spell a death sentence for Ryan. You do realize this don't you?", she looked at her sister with an air of concern.
"I plan on being very, very careful. When the time comes I may ask for your help and I promise that once I leave we will stay in touch. I don't want to lose you."
"We are sisters, you will never lose me", she hugged her.
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Torn
Feb 1, 2011 15:53:06 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 1, 2011 15:53:06 GMT -5
"You never read that letter that Sarah gave you," Melinda said as the girls removed their hats & capes in her bedroom.
"I didn't want to risk anyone seeing it," Abbie replied removing her gloves and the letter with it. She carefully unfolded it and began to read.
"My Dearest Abigail, I received word from Boston today that I must depart at once. Much sooner than I could possibly have known. I cannot leave without seeing you or being able to say goodbye. I ask you this one last time to meet me by the well. I have to know that you will be waiting for me. Please send word with Sarah when you can.
Your Devoted Servant, Ryan"
"What did it say?", Melinda asked as Abigail sank onto the bed.
"He's leaving," she looked up at her sister,"He must depart for Boston at once."
"Oh Abbie", she hugged her sister.
"He wants me to meet him tonight by the old well. I have to send word with Sarah."
"I'll help you," Melinda smoothed her hair away from her face,"You will feign a headache and skip dinner. I will instruct Sarah to help you get out of the house."
"He's leaving Mel, he's really going," she felt the sting of tears.
"Abbie, you cannot cry! Momma and Papa will gow suspicious," she handed her a hankerchief,"calm yourself, I will fetch Sarah and we will respond to his letter."
Abbie nodded and wiped her cheeks. Ryan had said he would be leaving, but not the next day. Not when she wasn't ready to say goodbye. They had just found eachother and now they were to be seperated. For how long? It could be months or years. This thought alone caused a sob to rip from her throat as she burried her face in the oversized pillows.
"Abbie, what happened?" Melinda came into the room with Sarah following,"Sarah make sure the door is closed."
"I don't know if I can do this Mel, he could be gone months or years. This whole stupid war. I hate it," she cried.
"Abbie, listen to me. You said yourself it would be hard, well here is your first test. I am going to send Ryan a response that you will meet him at sunset at the well. Sarah will then get it to him, by what ever means necessary. Isn't that right Sarah?"
"Yes, Ms. Melinda," the young girl nodded.
Melinda sat at the small vanity pulling out a piece of paper, she composed a short note and sealed it with hot wax,"See to it that this seal is not broken."
"I will," she took the letter and left the room,"Come now Abbie," she rubbed her sister's back.
"What am I going to do Mel?", she sniffed and stared out the window.
"You will figue it out sugar, I promise you. Love isn't easy, but it is worth fighting for."
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Torn
Feb 2, 2011 16:48:36 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 2, 2011 16:48:36 GMT -5
"Where is your sister?", Sean asked as supper was being served.
"She wasn't feeling well after our trip to town, the dust gave her a headache."
"Should we check on her?", Madeline asked folding her napkin into her lap.
"No momma", Melinda replied,"Sarah is with her."
"Poor dear, I hope she will be on the mend soon."
"I'm sure she will," she said cutting into the chicken,"Have you and Aunt Brianna talked about the engagement party anymore?"
"Oh yes!", Madeline smiled,"Your Aunt Brianna would like ot have it for you all. I told her of course, that leaves me with less getting ready to worry about."
Abbie listened to the chatter from the top of the stairs. She should be able to sneak out the back while the family was still eating. She would have to remember to thank her sister for making sure her way would be clear.
"Ms. Abbie", Sarah said quietly,"Everyone from the kitchen has gone to eat their supper, it's clear."
"Thank you Sarah", she kissed the girl's cheek and made her way down the back staircase and out the door. She ignored the rumbling hunger in her stomach. She made her way to the well as quickly as possible.
"You're here!", Ryan said rushing to her as she came into the clearing.
"Of course I am", she smiled trying her best not to sound as saddened as she felt.
"Abigail, you must know I couldn't leave without seeing you," he took her hands in his as he sat on the edge of the well.
"It's just so sudden," she kept her eyes to the ground,"You just said last night that you would be going."
"I didn't know," he said stroking her cheek softly,"I just got word and as soon as I did I sent the letter."
"I know I said I would be okay with this," she felt the tears yet again.
"Please don't cry love", he wrapped her in his arms as he felt her tears soak the shoulder of his shirt,"I will send for you as soon as I can."
"We don't know when that will be," she replied clinging to him.
"Abigail, I love you," he took her face in his hands making her look at him,"I want nothing more than to be with you."
"Then don't leave", she said nearly in a whisper.
"I wish it were that easy," he kissed her gently,"Truly, but I cannot stay here when I feel as strongly as I do. I want to go and make a difference. I want a good life for us Abigail."
"I understand that," she answered,"I want to be strong enough to handle this. I just don't know if I am."
"You are my love, I knew that the first night we met and the first time I kissed you," he smiled softly,"come let's walk"
"My sister is now perhaps our biggest supporter."
"Really? How did that come to pass?"
"Last night when I came home so late, she kept Papa from checking on me. Today I told her about you and she has agreed to help us. However she can."
"That's fantastic", he said as they came to the door of the same place as the night before,"I have a supper prepared for us."
"Was my stomach that loud?", she laughed.
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Torn
Feb 14, 2011 11:11:11 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 14, 2011 11:11:11 GMT -5
Ryan laughed,"I figured that with coming here so close to supper that you may be hungry."
"That I am", she followed him,"Oh, Ryan! How lovely!" a small spread of food was laid out infront of them. Cold meat with bread and cheese, the same pastries they had shared when at his home.
"It's not much," he apologized.
"It's perfect," she said with a smile,"Let's eat," she took a seat and began making each of them a plate.
"Thank you," he accepted the plate and watched as she began to eat thoughtfully.
"What?", she said as she noticed his eyes had not left her.
"Memorizing," he said with a slow smile,"I want to remember everything about tonight."
Abbie felt the rush of heat shoot through her body,"Yes, memorize the site of me eating meat and cheese. That will be a fantastic memory for you."
"It's not that," he laughed eating his own food,"I will remember everything about you Abigail."
"How soon will you join the Army once you have arrived in Boston?"
"Right away I presume, my friend informed me that they have been enlisting like mad. What will you do here?"
"I don't know", she sighed,"Conitnue on as I have been. We all know what is coming and a lot of the women are already talking about sewing circles and organizing drives for blankets and such necessities. Plus there is Mel and Paul's wedding." The truth was, she did not know how she had no clue what she would be doing without Ryan there. She knew that she and her family had a loyalty to the Confederacy, but her heart belonged to Ryan and he would be fighting with the Union Army. Heart mind beat incessantly against her heart in where her own loyalties would lie before long. Deep inside she knew she would pick Ryan, she would pick the man she loved. She struggled as they ate quietly, keeping the tears away, the pain and confusion kept carefully hidden behind her lowered lashes.
"Dessert love?", Ryan offered a pastry to her.
"I'm fine," she shook her head.
"Talk to me Abigail," he said taking her hands in his.
"Ask me to go with you Ryan," she said quietly.
"I cannot do that," he replied,"We are risking enough as it is. For you to leave your family now, it would cause nothing but heartache."
"You don't want me with you?"
"That's now what I meant and you know it Abigail," he said sternly,"We are risking death with our plans. I will not take that risk any sooner."
Abbie felt the stab in her heart at his words. They were risking death with their plans. If anyone besides her sister found out they would be hanged by reason of treason against the confederacy. She may be granted leaniancy because of her family, but Ryan would not be. The thought of him in the gallows pained her, and yet her selfish heart wanted nothing more than to leave Charleston behind and start a new life. He was waiting for her to speak, giving her time to sort through her thoughts and emotions. He watched her carefully noting suttle changes in he expression, hurt, anger, love. They rippled across her face and he could feel the tremors in her body as he moved next to her. How he wanted to take her with him, to start a new with her. But to possibly make her a widow before a bride, to possibly leave her without ever knowing how much he loved her, it was a far greater price than he was willing to pay.
"I do I survive without you," she whispered laying her head on his shoulder, inhaling his earthy scent of leather and of the horses he loved. The sweet scent of the pipe tobacco clung to his shirt.
He kissed her forehead gently,"You will my love, you will. For however long it takes, we will both survive. Believe me, this is no easier for me."
"No, I know it's not," she placed a hand against his cheek feeling the day's worth of growth rough against her palm,"I am being selfish and I'm sorry."
Ryan took her hand kissing her upturned palm,"Be selfish all you want," he smiled,"I kind of enjoy it."
"Promise me you will come back to me," she.said with her brow against his.
"I promise you Abigail," he murmered against her lips,"I promise." He cupped the nape of her neck as they kissed. A desperation was all too present in that kiss. Knowing a seperation was coming, a fear of the unknown. The uknown time and distance that would be placed between them, the strain to pick one side or another. It was all poured into and felt as their lips drank of eachother.
"Ryan," Abigail sighed as his lips seared hungrily down her neck to the hollow of her throat.
"I love you Abigail," he whispered huskily against her ear before taking her lips again.
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Torn
Feb 15, 2011 11:47:58 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 15, 2011 11:47:58 GMT -5
Ryan watched her as she slept, her long dark lashes a contrast to the ivory skin they rest upon. Her breathing was deep, even, and relaxed. He allowed himself the simple pleasure of stroking a finger down her cheek and wrapping one of her curls around his finger. It was almost a physical ache at the thought of leaving her. He had known her few days and yet his heart would belong to no one else. His eyes would never gaze upon another woman, no matter what beauty may be posessed there, he knew it would be nothing compared to Abigail O'Sullivan. Her eyes like fresh tide pools, foot prints left by the receding tide, her hair nearly as raven colored as a stormy sky and a temper to match. How could he walk away from her? Not knowing when or if they would meet again, he felt the dull ache spread through him as she began to stir.
Abbie stretched and felt the stiffness in her muscles at sleeping on a bed of hay, she let her eyes adjust and they rested on Ryan. His shirt hung loosely unbuttoned on his hunched shoulders, his fingers played absently with a long, golden piece of hay,"Is it light out yet?", she murmered.
"Still a few hours til dawn," he replied looking down at her,"You looked peaceful, I didn't want to wake you yet."
"Tis alright," she pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes stretching her arms above her head.
"Did you sleep okay?', he wrapped his arms around her pulling her close.
"As well as one can on a bed of hay," she laughed resting her head on his shoulder.
"I should have thought ahead," he said stroking her hair,"I must get you home."
Abbie felt the crack that had been made in her chest begin to spread into a gaping chasm as the reality of Ryan leaving loomed as large and dark as an angry sea. It threatened to swallow her, pulling her beneath the swirling waters, relentlessly tossing her without an allowance for air. Ryan felt her trembles as they sat silently, he knew his own heart and body echoed the fear that rolled off her. His pulse beat like a drum, pounding in his ears, reluctantly her held her at arms length.
"Come now," he stood and pulled her to her feet helping her to straighten her now rumpled clothing,"Shall I walk you?", he asked as they made their way out of the stable.
"I think not," she replied,"It will only be harder."
"Very well," he nodded.
"Good bye Ryan," Abbie said softly unable to meet his eyes.
"It won't be forever," he gently lifted her chin, gazing into the pools of her eyes,"I love you Abigail O'Sullivan."
"I love you Ryan Kelly," she felt the tears trickle down her cheeks unable to keep them at bay any longer as his lips met hers in a final embrace.
"This is for you," he slipped a small locket on a thin chain into her hand,"It's only a likeness of me, but I would like to know that you have it."
"I'll wear it always," she managed a smiled pulling a small wrapped parcel from her pocket,"You can open it when I leave."
"I'll write you soon," he said as their finger tips seperated and she disappeared into the early pre-dawn mist.
Abbie wrapped her arms around herself. The pain was spreading farther and farther though her body. The tears wouldn't stop, she stumbled throught the back door of the house and to her room. Exhausted emotionally and physically she slowly changed into her night dress. She lay in her bed staring at the hand sketched photo of Ryan in the locket. Her eyes continued to drain themselves until she could no longer hold them open.
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Torn
Feb 17, 2011 11:02:47 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 17, 2011 11:02:47 GMT -5
"Abigail", Melinda said softly as she sat on the edge of her sister's bed.
"Please go Mel," she replied keeping her back to her sister.
Melinda carefully folded her hands in her lap before continuing,"Abbie, you must get out of bed. Momma is becoming worried, it is well past noon."
"Tell her I am ill and that Sarah is tending to me," she watched lazy rays of sun dance across the floor catching the dust and causing it to appear like dozens of faeries dancing.
"I have done that, but she is our mother and she worries when we are ill. Won't you come down to the kitchen, even if it is for a moment to have some bread and broth."
Abbie curled into herself willing the pain away, wishing her sister would simply leave her to the misery and emptiness that consumed her,"I cannot eat Melinda. I fear it won't stay inside me if I do."
"Abigail, listen to me," she gingerly placed a hand on her back,"You knew this was coming, you were willing to go through all of this if it meant you could be with Ryan. If you continue on in this way our parents will know something is wrong beyond an illness. It would suit you to get cleaned up and make an appearance."
Abbie sighed deeply,"Very well."
"There's a good girl," Melinda said standing up,"Sarah will you leave us so I may tend my sister?"
"Yes Ma'am", she nodded and quickly left the two sisters.
"I will get you something to wear," she stood up to go through the armoir that stood against the wall.
"Did you ever feel this way with Paul?", Abbie pulled herself out of the bed and to the wash basin at the corner of the room.
"We've never had to be apart," she replied,"I cannot say I understand what you are feeling, but I do know what it is to be in love."
"He gave me a locket," she said stripping off her night dress, shivering at the chill in the room,"My dress please."
"Here we are," Melinda helped to tighten the corset before she stepped into the purple long sleeve garment,"So what is in the locket he gave you?', she asked helping to fasten the dress.
"A likeness of him," Abbie said opening the small golden locket.
"Very handsome," Melinda smiled,"Did you give him a token as well?"
"I did, I told him not to open it until after we parted. I'm not sure I could have left him if he opened it with me there. It was a photo of me & a hankerchief with fragrance."
"Abigail, that sounds lovely. He will treasure it I'm sure."
"I don't know what to do Mel," she looked at her sister, her eyes swimming with tears. The anguish of missing Ryan tearing at her insides.
"You have to go about your day to day love. It's the only way you will survive. Will he write to you?"
"Yes, he promised."
"Then we will be sure to watch for anything. We don't need Momma or Papa getting a hold of anything."
"I'm so grateful to you Mel," she hugged her sister. She needed the support, someone to lean on. If this was only the first day, what would happen on the second, third, or even tenth day? Would the pain last or fade? Would Ryan remember her and his promise? Emotions tumbled through her as she allowed Melinda to lead her downstairs to the kitchen.
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Torn
Feb 23, 2011 16:18:43 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 23, 2011 16:18:43 GMT -5
Ryan had been traveling for nearly two full days as the light began to fade on the second day. He had passed through small towns and stayed in an inn on the first night, but on this cold, frosty evening he had to set up camp for himself and his horse. He unhitched the horse and set him to graze while he built a fire. He watched as flames of orange and yellow hungrily licked at the wood sending curls of smoke into the air. He pulled out the wrapped parcel that Abigail had given him. He opened it gazing at the photo of her. He hadn't known what leaving her would do to him, but over the last two days he had barely eaten anything, his sleep was little to none. He pulled out the delicate hankerchief, unfolding it, allowing the linen and lace flow through his fingers. He inhaled the gentle, rose like fragrance that was Abigail. He closed his eyes resting his head against his pack, she could have come with him. They would have made it work, he knew they both would have fought to be together. It was selfish of him to be okay with risking her life. He sighed rubbing a hand over his face, he went into his pack pulling out the sheets of paper that he had brought. He could at least keep his promise of letters to her. He stared at the dancing flames as he put the pencil in his hand to the paper.
"Looks as though the post master is coming up the walk," Melinda said as she and Abbie sat sewing on the front verandah.
"Mel!", Abbie said excitedly,"Do you think it's a letter from Ryan?"
"Maybe," she smiled,"You finish that stitching and I will go retrieve it," she carefully placed the cloth on the rocking chair and wrapped her shawl tighter about her shoulders.
"Melinda," the older man smiled.
"Hello Mr. Smith," she gave a small curtsy,"Nice of you to come by."
"I have a letter for your sister, came in just today. I was on my way home for lunch and thought I would bring it by."
"Well, we certainly appreciate it."
"Good day to you," he tipped his hat and mounted his horse to continue on his way.
"Well,"Abbie said trying not to get her hopes up.
"Tis for you," Melinda handed her the letter,"Will you let me hear it?"
"Depending on what it says," she replied gingerly running fingers over the letter that had been sealed carefully. Her pulse raced as she pulled the seal opened and unfolded the letter.
"Come now Abigail, what does it say," Melinda encouraged her.
"Let me read it first and then I will tell you the parts I want to tell you.
My Dearest Abigail, I hope this letter finds you well my love. I couldn't bare to know that you were feeling poor or in a saddened state. For I know that is my state at the moment. I miss you more than I thought possible. My mind goes back to our last night together. I wish it could have been a bit more romantic than a horse barn. But to hold you in my arms and be with you on that final night is what keeps me going. Over the course of the last few days I have considered coming back for you, knowing we could figure out what to do. However, now is not the time. While it is hard for us both, it will be better when we can be together freely.
How is the planning for Melinda & Paul's wedding? Dreadfully boring for you I'm sure. You're sister will need to be careful as you may steal the show with your beauty on her wedding day. I want that for us Abigail, the big wedding and a home. A family to raise, I know we will one day have that.
Tonight I camped under the stars and the photo of you kept the chill away. I keep it close to my heart at all times wrapped as when yo ugave it to me. Tell me love, do you wear my locket? Ridiculous question I know, but it would bring me such joy to know that you wear it always, as you said. I must close now as I have a logn journey still ahead. I should be close to Boston by the time you receive this. I would so enjoy a response, but I have no home at the moment. A soon as I have a bed and a roof I will let you know. Expect more of my letters as I plan to write every day as long as situations permit. Until next time my sweet Abigail.
Your Devoted Servant, Ryan Kelly
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Torn
Feb 28, 2011 10:16:01 GMT -5
Post by fallingn2ct on Feb 28, 2011 10:16:01 GMT -5
"What does he have to say?", Melinda asked looking up from her sewing.
"He misses me greatly," Abbie said wiping a tear away quickly,"He has considered coming back for me, but knows that it is not possible right now. He keeps my photo close at all times."
"How romantic," she smiled at her sister,"Will you write back?"
"I can compose a response, but he is traveling and with no home, I have no hopes that he would receive it."
"You know what I think?"
"No," she shook her head folding the letter over again.
"You should compose a response and then simply keep it. When he finally has a dwelling you can send any responses to him."
Abbie studied the letter in her hands, knowing that Ryan's hands and written the words on the paper. That he was telling her what was in his heart and at this moment his heart was in pain as was hers,"Perhaps that would help."
"It will help you get through this time Abbie, before long this whole ridiculous war will be over with and the two of you can be together."
"Hello ladies!", Paul said giving a wave as he climbed the steps of the verandah.
"Paul!", Melinda stood up placing her stitching in the chair,"What a surprise!"
"Hello darling," he kissed her cheek,"Abigail, how are you?"
"I am well, thank you Paul," Abbie stood giving a bow of her head.
"Melinda, I have a picnic prepared if you have the afternoon free," he said hopeful.
"I will need to ask my poppa."
"No need, I have spoken with him already."
"Paul, you are the sweetest", she gushed.
Abbie watched as Melinda and Paul exchanged a brief kiss and shared a secret look between them with smiles. It caused her to nearly lose her breath at the sharp stab she felt. She wanted that, she wanted the ease and comfort of having him by her side. She stared out over the wide expanse of the land as he mind wandered to Ryan. Where was he now? Was he warm? Did he need food or clothing? She watched as the sun of the early fall dappled the leaves in gold and yellows, squirrels ran back and forth from branch to branch preparing themselves for winter. The chilled breeze drifted lazily over the verandah causing her eyes to dry and tear up as she closed them.
"Abigail," Paul called her name.
"Abbie," Melinda looked at her sister.
"Yes, I'm sorry," she turned her head quickly.
"Would you like to join us for lunch?", Paul asked.
"That's very kind of you, but I have sewing to finish."
"Are you sure? I'm sure momma can mend some of those shirts," Melinda said gently.
Abbie shook her head,"I'm going to finish this one and then I have a letter to compose."
"Very well then,"Paul took Melinda's hand,"Enjoy your afternoon Abigail."
"I will Paul, thank you," she gave him a nod.
"I'll be home in a bit," Melinda bent kissing her cheek. She and Paul waved as they walked down the pathy towards his awaiting carriage.
Abbie returned their wave placing her sewing aside. She picked up Ryan's letter and went inside to get a warmer shawl and writing supplies. She picked up a biscuit from the kitchen and then made her way out towards the old well. She sat on the ground feeling the cold hard stone against her back, she felt the cold. At least she could feel something besides the numbing emptiness inside. She ate the biscuit as she poured over the letter again and thought of a response.
My Darling, Your letter did find me well. As well I expect myself to be right now. I think of you at every moment of the day. At night I hope that I dream of you. It has been a week since you left me and I feel as if a part of me has been taken away. Melinda is a great help, she keep sme occupied with miniscule tasks here and there. Things for the wedding, sewing, reading. I put on a good act for momma and poppa. They don't suspect a thing.
I wonder where you are now. I would like to think that you are safe and in Boston already. That you have a roof over head and a warm place to lay your head at night. Do you have a window to look out of? If you do, then each night you should look out at the moon and stars and know that I am doing the same and thinking of you.
I wear the locket every day. At night I place it on the stand with the wash basin so that I may put it on first thing in the morning. I am glad to know that my photo brings you comfort. These are the small comforts we must cling to until we are together again. For now my love, I will leave you. I do not know when you will write again, but I will read every letter you send and treasure it.
All my love, Your Abigail
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