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Post by pfieffer on Aug 12, 2009 0:35:30 GMT -5
the date will be in damian's point of view. Allie's thought's will be in the next post. Dun Dun Dun. LOL
Damian's Point of View-
I rang the doorbell. She opened the door. She was stunning. I was drawn to her eyes. Those big brown eyes reflected the world around her. They also reflected her thoughts. "Hello." I politely said. "Hello." Allie said, "Come in." I greeted her parents. They told me to bring her home by ten. I told them to do so. I led Allie out to the cab. I let her in. And walked around. "So where are we going?" She asked. She was wearing a beautiful green dress. I replied, "The Cheesecake Factory." "Wonderful." She said. Man this was awkward. I just had to remind myself it was not a date. We finally arrived. We were seated right away. We ordered our drinks. Boy I was nervous. "So how are you feeling." "Just fine." She replied. Although something seemed wrong her gorgeous eyes said it. The drinks came. I could tell then something was wrong. She could not find her drink. We then ordered. Waiting for our food, was fairly silent. I debated over telling her. "Allie." I started, "I have been thinking alot about you lately. I don't want you to be weirded out or anything. But I had a dream about you. It was quite scary." She then burst out, "I had a dream about you too. I was acting all weird." "It was weird. I was blind and their was someone who sounded like you but with a British accent was taunting me. Then I was kind of eaten." "Your kidding. That was almost the same dream I had." Wow, this was so weird. The talk about the dream had stopped. Our food came. Once again she had some trouble. It started to worry me. "Are you sure your okay?" I asked, "If anything is wrong, you can tell me, or any one for that matter." "Nothing is wrong." She said defensively. We ate the rest of the meal in silence. The check came and I payed. I walked her out and called for a taxi. I took her home. Walked her to the door. "I had a wonderful time." She said. "Yeah, me to." I said sheepishly. I gave her a peck on the cheek. She blushed, and went inside. I went to the cab, and told the taxi driver to take me to the hotel. I got back and Paul was their waiting for me. "So, how did it go?" Paul asked. "It was kinda awkward." I stated, "And I hate to say it, but..."
DUN DUN DUN (dramatic music) You have to wait two posts. LOL hahahah i am evil. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment and tell me what ya think. love ya-pfieffer
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Post by maureenj on Aug 20, 2009 1:57:27 GMT -5
Okay, I'm seriously hanging here. Lauren - I hope you took the opportunity of Nox being down to write more on this. As a mod, I have to say, you have a few spelling errors, especially in the first few posts, and a couple of places where a missing word or letter confuses the reader (at least, it did me) for a moment, but over all, well done. Great, original plot, master cliffhangers, and it flows together smoothly. I look forward to reading more
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Post by pfieffer on Aug 21, 2009 22:38:49 GMT -5
Allie's Point of View-
I walked in and standing at the front door waiting was my brother. My parents had gone out. "So how did it go." He pestered. I had just walked in, but he was amazing. I was so glad that he cared. Plus how could I not tell, even though it was a little awkward, it was amazing, "It was awkward." The little teasing smile on my brother's face disappeared, "Oh." "But," I said, which gave him a smile again, "I had a wonderful time. It was kind of magical. And remember that dream I told you about." "Yeah, a little." "Well oddly enough he had almost the same dream." "That is weird. Maybe you were meant for each other." He teased. I laughed and started to yawn. I was tired. My vision was getting blurrier. I had guessed, that everyone's vision got blurry at the end of the day so I did not second guess it. I got ready for bed. I fell asleep dreaming of the ice blue eyes of Damian Mcginty. I don't know how long I was asleep, but I woke up around one am. I could make out shapes, but no color. I reached around for the light. I turned it on. I was only seeing black and white, and shapes. I panicked. "ANTHONY!" He came running in, I bursted out crying, "I don't want my vision to go away." "Oh, I see he said." Of what I could see, he seemed to get all small. The wait on my bed transferred as he sat close to my head. "Lay down." I knew what he was going to do. Still crying I laid down, as he rubbed my back. He was telling me to calm down, and that I was not going to loose my vision. I finally fell asleep, and he left the room. I woke up the next morning to a surprise I was not expecting.
DUN DUN DUN... is it gone or not, you have to wait to posts to find out. love ya. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what ya think. love ya.
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Post by pfieffer on Aug 23, 2009 0:54:24 GMT -5
hahaha, i know y'all want to know what happens... but you have to wait to posts. on the other hand... what did damian say to paul LOL
Damian's point of view-
"Before I say anything else, you have to promise not to give me a hard time." "Okay." Paul simply agreed. I nervously continued, "I think it might have been a date, and even worse, I think I am falling in love." I did not want to admit that I was falling in love with Allie, but those deep eyes, the hair, the flawlessness of her. How could a guy not fall in love with her. "I see." Paul said, he was trying so hard not to break his promise, "So it was a date then?" Their went his promise right out the window following his maturity. "Yes, Paul, it was a date." I sighed reluctantly. "So what are you going to do now." "I don't know, I am not even sure if it is really love I feel for her. I am so confused." "Look, sleep on it tonight. If you feel the same way, call her tomorrow and tell her. If not call her anyways and say you had a great time. And I mean call, texting is no good, if you want to be polite." Despite how imature he was, he sure gave really good advice. He knew how to treat a lady like she was the best thing in the universe. I got ready for bed. Wearing my red plaid pants and a white hanes v-neck I snuggled into one of the beds in the room. I turned out the light. I was tired, and usually when I am tired as soon as my head hits the pillow I am out. But my head was on the pillow and my eyes were still open. I could not fall asleep, even though I was tired. I finally fell asleep and woke up around ten the next morning. But it felt like a sleepless night. We ordered room service, I asked for waffles, and Paul got pancakes. The room service came. I was not hungry. Their was a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Even though I was not hungry, I ate one of the four waffles on my plate. Paul ate the rest. Paul winked at me and left the room to go talk to Ryan and Keith he said he needed to talk to some men. I just rolled my eyes. I carefully dialed Allie's number I wanted to make sure it was correct. I deleted what I had done because I thought I put a number in wrong. I didn't I was just nervous. Before I pressed talk, I thought about how I really felt about her. I had decided, this was going to be one heck of a call. I pushed talk. The phone rang. Their was not talking from the other line, I instantly got worried. Then I heard her voice, her sweet melodious voice. She was going to hit me with some really unexpected news. "Damian..."
DUN DUN DUN. so many cliffhangers tell me what ya think PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. love ya
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Post by pfieffer on Aug 23, 2009 23:15:25 GMT -5
I suggest you get a tissue box out, this story will start to become really sad
Amanda's point of View-
I woke up to nothing. I could not see anything. The vast array of colors that I saw the day before was gone, all gone. Why would this happen to me, give me everything then take it all away. I sat up in bed, and started crying. I guess it was pretty loud, cause the door came in and I heard Anthony's footsteps, he was trying to make them light, but it was not working. "What's the matter?" He asked. "Anthony." I said looking up at him. "Oh no." He knew what had happened. He ran out of the room, seconds had passed, when the footsteps of my mom, dad, and him were coming down the hall. "It can't be true." My mom started to cry. My dad walked out of the room in doing so he hit a wall with his fist. He came back in on the phone with the doctor. My dad was pacing, and my mom, and Anthony were sitting on my bed. My dad left the room again. Came back in and I heard him set the phone down on my desk. "Well," He started, "He is going to come over, he does not normally do this, but he is going to make an exception." My dad walked out of the room followed by my mom. I knew this because Anthony started talking to me. "I should have done something last night." He felt as though it were his fault. It truly was my fault when I did not say anything yesterday morning. "Anthony, It's okay, it is not your fault." I could tell he did not like me saying that. He got of my bed and trudged down the hallway to his room. I lay back down in bed. Then my phone rang. I looked at it, and answered, I could no longer read the caller ID so I waited for the person to say something. Nothing, so I guessed the only person to call me now would be Damian. "Damian." I struggled to say, tears were building up. "Hi." He replied. He sounded worried. "I need to talk to you, last night was really fun. And umm..." He was stumbling I guessed what he was going to say, so I cut him off, because he probably would not feel the same way about me after I told him the news, "Something bad happened. I lost my vision, even after the procedure, and this time it might be impossible to get it back."
DUN DUN DUN... sorry for the sadness, but their is more to come... this is a really sad story sorry, not much left though. anyways i hope y'all like it PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what ya think. love ya
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Post by pfieffer on Aug 27, 2009 22:05:29 GMT -5
Damian's point of view-
Wow, it was gone. I was in shock, but strangly I loved her even more. I mean I loved her, regardless if she could see or not, she was still the same person. "Well, umm if it helps I still love you." I said it, I finally said it. I could here her gulp. "Thanks." She then hung up. I imediatly started conjuring up a plan to take her out tonight, but where? All I knew is that I was going to take a taxi wherever we went because I had no other choice.
Allie's point of View-
Wow, I guess he loved me no matter what. I turned on the tv for the sound, as I waited for the docter. Finally the doorbell rung. He was here. I walked to the living room. We went to the media room where he was going to do the appointment their. I sat in one of the chairs, he did all this stuff. Finally it was over. He walked out, and i slumped into the chair. He walked back in. "Well," He started, "I disgussed it with your parents, and it is best you don't do another procedure serious damage could be done to more than your eyes." When he finished a started crying but I understood, I then heard my phone ringing. I walked to my bedroom and answered. "Hey." It was Damian, "Hi." I answered sheepishly. "Would you go on a date with me tonight." Without a second thought I replied "Sure." That instantly made the bad news seem like nothing. "Pick you up at six thirty." He hung. I was excited, six thirty came to slowly. I was wearing a silky dress. And walked outside Damian met me and took my arm. We walked to the car, it was a taxi, because Damian was not driving plus it smelled. We were turning off my street. We had a green light and were going. I heard skidding noise. I yelled, "DAMIAN!"
DUN DUN DUN... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what ya think I AM BEGGING... love ya.
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Post by maureenj on Aug 27, 2009 22:37:54 GMT -5
Lauren - If you don't update soon, I might have to lock myself up. I'm seriously going nuts here. I love Paul and Damian's interactions. You really have a way of building a story. Please update soon, so I don't have to get Queen Mindy or the Cap'n to find a cell to hold me...!
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Post by pfieffer on Aug 30, 2009 16:56:51 GMT -5
do not kill me PLEASE... lol. get your tissues now. please be prepared.
Damian's point of View-
Allie had screamed my name, and I saw the car coming towards us. We were hit. The car turned in the intersection. The other car hit the side of the taxi that Allie was on. At that moment I knew she would be more hurt than I was. The taxi driver and I got out of the car. We waited for Allie to get out, but she didn't. Within minutes the paramedics arrived. I was shooken up, I went to the other side of the car. I almost throught up, it was damaged beyond repair. A police man tapped me on the shoulder and took me away from the banged up taxi. Next to his car was the taxi driver, and standing next to the taxi driver was another man. The policeman then asked me, "Will you tell me what happened." "Sure," I stumbled, still no sign of Allie. "Um, well I was in the backseat behind the driver and my friend Allie was behind the passenger seat. She yelled my name. I saw a car coming towards us and then bam, we were hit." "Look I can explain..." The man I did not know said. "My breaks were shot, I could not stop." "I know, sir, it is not your fault, but this is very serious." The police officer then took the three of us to the ambulance, the paramedics looked us over. The taxi driver had three small cuts on his right on arm. The driver of the other car, had a few bruises and a huge gash on his leg. I was completely unharmed. When the finished examining me, I saw them put Allie on a stretcher, they took her past me and loaded her in, at that time I knew this was not good. I felt horrible, I was destroyed inside. This was the monster that ate me in my dream. We all went to the hospital. Allie's parents and brother were already their. Anthony looked as though he had just had his heart ripped out, his sister was his most prized posestion. I walked up to them, almost crying, "I am so sorry, this is my fault." Her mom and dad said nothing, I was expecting the same from her brother but he said, "It is not your fault, she really loved you." He handed me a peice of paper.On it was written a poem, it was titled, For Damian. "I think she wrote this when she could see." I read it. The words flowed together, "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tears never shed, when I'm with you. Cause I'm seeing you in a new light, And the colors on your skin. I am seeing you in a new light, it's a great way to begin." I walked over to a chair and read and reread the poem. After a while, Seth, and Allie's mom, and dad said I could go see her alone. Paul had just arrived as I went in to her room. I walked in, the atmosphere was cold and sad. In the center of the room on a stark white bed was Allie. She was beat up and her body mangled. I started to tear up. With her hand Allie slightly motioned for me to come near. "Allie, you know I love you, so I wrote you a little song." The poem she wrote I added to it and gave it a tune, I grabbed her bandaged hand, and started to sing, "Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't get you out of my head cause I'm always think about you." She squeezed my hand tighter. I kept singing, "Cause I'm seeing you in a new light, I'll always love how you are, I'm seeing you in a new light, it hurts to so far." She smiled, and then she started to mumble I took and we both sang softly "Roses are red, violets are blue, seeing you again, was like I never was without you. Cause I'm seeing you in a new light where everything is about you." Her grip started to loosen, and her voice started to fade. "NO!" I yelled, "Stay with me." I started to sing, her voice was barely tracable, "Cause I'm seeing you in a new light. Where all our dreams come." She stopped, the flat line. I cried, "True." I cried and I cried and I cried. Her parents came in. I moved out of the way. Anthony came in. I walked out to Paul crying. Paul had open arms. I hugged him. He just let me cry on his shoulder. He had a heart of gold, he was their when I needed him. He sat me down, "It's okay." I looked at him with the tears flowing from my eyes, "No, no it's not." "Damo, it's not your fault. It never was, and it never will be." "Paul, none of this would have happened if I never called her." "Damian," He bent down, "You were meant to call her, this was meant to happen. It happened for a reason." He got up, "Let's go." He gave me his hand and I stood up. He put his arm around me, as we were leaving, Anthony shouted, "Damian, can you wait a minute." I told Paul to get the rental car he had borrowed from Sharon. "What do you want?" I asked. "Um... I want to say thanks. She was happier than I had ever seen her in her life when she was with you or she talked about you. I want to tell you thanks, cause I know she died happy." I started to cry, he gave me a hug and walked back in the room, I walked out to the car, that Paul had driven up. I got in. I was thinking about what Anthony said. He was right she was happy. But then how come I wasn't. We got back to the hotel. I turned the television on, in hopes of getting my mind of Allie. But, Beauty and the Beast was playing, I shut it off. I fell back on the bed, and eventually fell asleep. I awoke the next morning to Paul shaking me, "Hey Damo, time to leave, we got to get to the next city." I got up, changed, and made my way to the bus. We drove away from the city, from the love of my life, from the horrible thing that had happened the night before. But one thing that no bus could take me away from was the brilliant memory of Allie. The tour ended all to soon, I had got a text from Anthony, telling me to come over for the funeral. I told Sharon, and so the tour bus went back to the city, of my worst and best memories. All of Celtic Thunder went to the funeral. The service was beautiful. It ended and we left. That ended one of the best and worst chapters in my life, or so I thought.
Raise your right hand, I state your name promise not ot kill Lauren. LOL. I hoped y'all liked it. one more post. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what ya think. love ya
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Post by Damianite on Aug 31, 2009 21:55:47 GMT -5
what she dies... OHHHH MYYY GODDDDDDDDD tears
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Post by pfieffer on Sept 6, 2009 14:14:15 GMT -5
last post *sniff* EPILOUGE: Damian's Point of View- We were performing, it had been one year since I had met Allie. The performance tonight was a hard one, only because every song I sang reminded me of her. It was a really rough night. And I unfortunately had to keep the smile on because I had meet and greets with Paul and Keith. We were at the same venue where I had met Allie. The meet and greets were going slowly, they seemed to last longer than any other before them. Finally the last group was approaching us. It was a guy and a girl I did not give them a second look. "Anthony?" Paul asked surprised. "Kenzie? Right?" Keith asked. Oh know. I slowly looked up. Standing in front of me were, Allie's brother, and her best freind. "We just wanted to say thanks, and you guys did amazing tonight." Kenzie said. "I just wanted to say, I know why everyone is always so happy after hearing you." Anthony added, looking right at me. I knew he wanted to Allie. Kenzie hugged Paul and Keith, and Anthony shook their hands. I reluctantly hugged her, and shook his hand. We were leaving, and I ran to the bus. I got on my bunk, just like last year I was on the top bunk above Paul. "Paul, why is it so hard? It has been year, yet being hear seems as though the whole thing happened yesterday." I was stressed, and seeing Kenzie and Anthony only made it worse. "Lad, nothing in life is easy," He comforted, "Especially things like this." He was talking from the heart, he knew exactly how I felt. "It just doesn't seem fair." "Let me tell you probably the most famous peice of advice ever, Life is not fair. Don't think to much about it." I tried not to every day. It was really hard. We had four days off in the town again. Just like last year. Man this break was going to be hard. The four days passed so slowly. I woke up the morning of the fourth day. It was cloudy, looked as though it was going to rain. Although the entire time we were hear the sun did not shine. It seemed as though the sun would never shine in this town again. I was eating a breakfast of frosted flakes. When Paul came in and told me to get ready we were going somewhere today. I got ready, and followed Paul. We drove in a rental car. I have not stepped foot in a taxi since that day. We came to a cemitary. At that moment I knew what we were doing. "No." "Lad, come on." He was out of the car opening the door for me. I reluctantly got out. I looke around every head stone looked the same, their was know way I wanted to be here. "Well can't find let's go." "Come on." Paul said, he pointed his hand towards a certain tombstone. I walked up to it. It was red. It looked like a grave stone rounded at the top. It was not fance. Ont the curved edge on top, was written her name, and her birth and death dates. I started to cry. On the face of the stone were written six simple words. Words that made me fall to my knees. Words that made her happy. Seeing you in a new light. Those six words ached my heart. This was the hardest thing. I decided that I would finally let her go. On the left side of the grave stone I dug a little hole. I slipped my Claddagh ring in, and covered it up. I walked away from the grave, leaving part of me behind. I knew other girls but none of them were like Allie. I tried to find a bit of Allie in every girl. Walking away I tried to smile, it was half a smile. I was letting go of something. But I was taking something with me. I was taking the memory of a great girl. I walked towards Paul. He gave me a lilly. "I think you know what to do lad." he whispered. I ran back, and laid the lilly on her grave. As I let go of the stem, my mind was flooded with her voice singing the poem she wrote. Her sweet voice. Before I walked away for the final time, I whispered, "I'm seeing You in a knew light." I walked away, never to come back to the sight again, although my memory of the little town, and the horrible things that happened their would fade, I would never forget Allie, her sweet voice, and the six simple words, seeing you in a new light. THE END i hoped y'all liked it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what ya think. love ya.
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Post by discatangel on Nov 30, 2009 17:47:06 GMT -5
Oh my gosh Pfiefer!!!!!!!! that was so amazing!!!!!!!! It was a good relief from everyone else who has their love story working out perfectly and it had a great resolution. You are an awesome writer. Don't you ever stop!
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Post by damianrocks on Jan 4, 2010 18:16:40 GMT -5
Oh my god, I cried. That was so good. Out of curiosity, do you have someone proofread? I'm willing to. I'm good a grammar and things like that. I just noticed some mistakes throughout. I think this would be excellent if it had correct grammar. Such a beautiful story.
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MsJessika :)
Fantastic Fan
I'm like a cuddly panda bear! :)
Posts: 110
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Post by MsJessika :) on Jan 18, 2012 18:40:19 GMT -5
This was so amazing!! ;D ....and sad.
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thunderhead2009
Wicked Fan
There is some good in this world Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for
Posts: 71
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Post by thunderhead2009 on May 24, 2012 15:32:50 GMT -5
This was amazing!!!!!
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