Post by misssunflower on Aug 11, 2009 21:46:25 GMT -5
Amy missed Keith already. He hadn’t even left yet, and she missed him. This is why this is for the best her mind continued telling her. It was better if she and Keith were friends. It was better when he left like this, and it would be better when she left after Christmas.
He was the main reason she wanted to get away, and the main reason she wanted to stay in Ireland forever. She did love him. So much. And even thinking that he might love her too made her heart pound faster than anything in the world. He was the one person who made her want to stay somewhere. To stay with him.
She hated that.
As most of the day was spent in her confusion, it was about noon on Friday when she got a phone call.
“Hello?”
“Miss. Andrews?” A pleasant female voice asked.
“Yes?”
“You’re a photographer, yes? There is a fashion photo shoot in New York tomorrow, and the photographer just bailed for it. I stumbled on a add of yours as a photographer, do you think you could come?”
Amy’s heart pounded, she was supposed to be free from work for another 2 months at least! “I- I’m on va- vacation.” She mumbled awkwardly. But still, New York. She hadn’t been there yet, not the city at least. The idea of going appealed to her. To part of her, at least.
“I’m sorry,” The lady continued, “It’s only for tomorrow, and you will be paid for it…”
She took a deep breath. Yes. This would be good, a very good thing. She needed to get away to keep herself from thinking about Keith. And who knows where New York would take her. She might get another call from anywhere else in the country. Who knew where she’d get to go. What she’d get to see.
Who knew when she’d next be in Ireland. Her mouth closed right before she said the agreeing words.
Dang it Amy! Had she grown so in love with her old home that she couldn’t bear leaving it for a single job, a single weekend? This was exactly why she disliked staying in a place for long, she grew attached. To the place, and to the people. But her heart now loved this attachment. Loved being with friends, spending time with the same people.
This was awful, absolutely awful. She was leaving sooner or later, sooner would be easier.
“Sure, yes, I would certainly be able to go for the weekend.”
“Thank you very much Miss. Andrews.”
After a few minutes she hung up the phone with a sigh. This was a good thing, she told herself. She’d be seeing another new place, this is what she always wanted to do. A whole weekend in New York City.
A whole weekend by herself. With no one to share her sights and excitement with. Ryan would be touring, along with Keith. She could call Rachel or Vanessa but she doubted either would understand the feelings she had.
Telling Ryan she was leaving early would be tough. She HAD promised him through Christmas and she did NOT want to break that She should call him, she thought. Promise that she WOULD be there for Christmas. That this was only a weekend, well, unless something happened.
He didn’t pick up and she figured he must have been out with Vanessa, sharing their last day together. Rachel was post likely out with Paul. The way she should have been out with Keith.
Well, that thought wasn’t helping her at all.
She needed a second opinion though. This was impossible to handle on her own. She decided to try Rachel either way. She was the most likely to answer she guessed.
“You loved Ryan, didn’t you?” Were her first words when Amy mumbled her concerns about leaving versus not leaving.
Amy’s jaw dropped, at the, well, RANDOM question, “What!?”
“Oh I don’t mean NOW!” She added quickly “No, I know Ryan isn’t close to you that way. I mean when you were younger, before you first moved…”
She took a deep breath, then, “I wouldn’t call it love though. I was barely a high school student at the time.” She was rushing her words, “And he was older, cool, funny, and the only guy to give me the time of day. Even then I didn’t think anything would come of it, but yes. I suppose you could say he was my first love.”
“And when you moved-?” Rachel asked.
She laughed gently, “I was depressed, more than you could ever believe. It’s the most horrible feeling in the world, leaving. I never wanted to go through it ever again.”
“That’s what I thought.” She said quietly.
“What did you think?”
“That’s why you travel, isn’t it?”
“Part of the reason,” She said, “I do enjoy it, seeing the world, trying new things…”
“But you’re by yourself, then?” She continued.
How was it she knew exactly about her own loneliness, more than she knew of it herself? Maybe it would have been better not talking to anyone.
“I think it’s easier that way, not getting attached.”
“Then what about us? Ryan, Vanessa, and myself?” Rachel added, Amy tried not to think about how she didn’t mention Keith’s name, “You’re saying you don’t want to get attached to people, to have a home or a family, but Amy, we’re friends, we’re family. Why are you okay with this?”
Amy was speechless, that was something she’d never thought of before. It was so confusing, she was so used to being wild, being free, it was a her, she thought. Why was it now so difficult?
“I- I don’t know.” She wasn’t sure she knew about anything anymore. “I like traveling.”
“I’m sure you do.” Rachel agreed, “But Amy, really, moving is what hurt you and now your saying it’s what’s keeping you from hurt?”
“Look, moving showed me that nothing lasts forever. And pretending that it does only makes things worse. I’ve had my life loose all stability and I’ve decided to keep it that way.” She said as firm as she could and felt tears visit her eyes.
Rachel sighed, “You really think that…”
She didn’t want people arguing that with her, unlike her and Keith she wanted to end on a good note, “Y-yes I do. Thanks for talking Rache, I- I think I’m going to go - go p-pack now.”
“Oh.” She said in a small voice, “What time will you be in New York tomorrow?”
She sighed, which sounded like a sniff through tears, “I’ll arrive about 10:00 tomorrow.” She heard Rachel mumble something under her breath but decided she’d rather not hear that repeated louder, so she added, “You’ll tell Ryan, won’t you? I can’t get a hold of him. Just let him know I’ll be back when I promised.”
There was a empty pause and Amy attempted to dry her eyes. Finally Rachel said, nearly whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll let them know.”
He was the main reason she wanted to get away, and the main reason she wanted to stay in Ireland forever. She did love him. So much. And even thinking that he might love her too made her heart pound faster than anything in the world. He was the one person who made her want to stay somewhere. To stay with him.
She hated that.
As most of the day was spent in her confusion, it was about noon on Friday when she got a phone call.
“Hello?”
“Miss. Andrews?” A pleasant female voice asked.
“Yes?”
“You’re a photographer, yes? There is a fashion photo shoot in New York tomorrow, and the photographer just bailed for it. I stumbled on a add of yours as a photographer, do you think you could come?”
Amy’s heart pounded, she was supposed to be free from work for another 2 months at least! “I- I’m on va- vacation.” She mumbled awkwardly. But still, New York. She hadn’t been there yet, not the city at least. The idea of going appealed to her. To part of her, at least.
“I’m sorry,” The lady continued, “It’s only for tomorrow, and you will be paid for it…”
She took a deep breath. Yes. This would be good, a very good thing. She needed to get away to keep herself from thinking about Keith. And who knows where New York would take her. She might get another call from anywhere else in the country. Who knew where she’d get to go. What she’d get to see.
Who knew when she’d next be in Ireland. Her mouth closed right before she said the agreeing words.
Dang it Amy! Had she grown so in love with her old home that she couldn’t bear leaving it for a single job, a single weekend? This was exactly why she disliked staying in a place for long, she grew attached. To the place, and to the people. But her heart now loved this attachment. Loved being with friends, spending time with the same people.
This was awful, absolutely awful. She was leaving sooner or later, sooner would be easier.
“Sure, yes, I would certainly be able to go for the weekend.”
“Thank you very much Miss. Andrews.”
After a few minutes she hung up the phone with a sigh. This was a good thing, she told herself. She’d be seeing another new place, this is what she always wanted to do. A whole weekend in New York City.
A whole weekend by herself. With no one to share her sights and excitement with. Ryan would be touring, along with Keith. She could call Rachel or Vanessa but she doubted either would understand the feelings she had.
Telling Ryan she was leaving early would be tough. She HAD promised him through Christmas and she did NOT want to break that She should call him, she thought. Promise that she WOULD be there for Christmas. That this was only a weekend, well, unless something happened.
He didn’t pick up and she figured he must have been out with Vanessa, sharing their last day together. Rachel was post likely out with Paul. The way she should have been out with Keith.
Well, that thought wasn’t helping her at all.
She needed a second opinion though. This was impossible to handle on her own. She decided to try Rachel either way. She was the most likely to answer she guessed.
“You loved Ryan, didn’t you?” Were her first words when Amy mumbled her concerns about leaving versus not leaving.
Amy’s jaw dropped, at the, well, RANDOM question, “What!?”
“Oh I don’t mean NOW!” She added quickly “No, I know Ryan isn’t close to you that way. I mean when you were younger, before you first moved…”
She took a deep breath, then, “I wouldn’t call it love though. I was barely a high school student at the time.” She was rushing her words, “And he was older, cool, funny, and the only guy to give me the time of day. Even then I didn’t think anything would come of it, but yes. I suppose you could say he was my first love.”
“And when you moved-?” Rachel asked.
She laughed gently, “I was depressed, more than you could ever believe. It’s the most horrible feeling in the world, leaving. I never wanted to go through it ever again.”
“That’s what I thought.” She said quietly.
“What did you think?”
“That’s why you travel, isn’t it?”
“Part of the reason,” She said, “I do enjoy it, seeing the world, trying new things…”
“But you’re by yourself, then?” She continued.
How was it she knew exactly about her own loneliness, more than she knew of it herself? Maybe it would have been better not talking to anyone.
“I think it’s easier that way, not getting attached.”
“Then what about us? Ryan, Vanessa, and myself?” Rachel added, Amy tried not to think about how she didn’t mention Keith’s name, “You’re saying you don’t want to get attached to people, to have a home or a family, but Amy, we’re friends, we’re family. Why are you okay with this?”
Amy was speechless, that was something she’d never thought of before. It was so confusing, she was so used to being wild, being free, it was a her, she thought. Why was it now so difficult?
“I- I don’t know.” She wasn’t sure she knew about anything anymore. “I like traveling.”
“I’m sure you do.” Rachel agreed, “But Amy, really, moving is what hurt you and now your saying it’s what’s keeping you from hurt?”
“Look, moving showed me that nothing lasts forever. And pretending that it does only makes things worse. I’ve had my life loose all stability and I’ve decided to keep it that way.” She said as firm as she could and felt tears visit her eyes.
Rachel sighed, “You really think that…”
She didn’t want people arguing that with her, unlike her and Keith she wanted to end on a good note, “Y-yes I do. Thanks for talking Rache, I- I think I’m going to go - go p-pack now.”
“Oh.” She said in a small voice, “What time will you be in New York tomorrow?”
She sighed, which sounded like a sniff through tears, “I’ll arrive about 10:00 tomorrow.” She heard Rachel mumble something under her breath but decided she’d rather not hear that repeated louder, so she added, “You’ll tell Ryan, won’t you? I can’t get a hold of him. Just let him know I’ll be back when I promised.”
There was a empty pause and Amy attempted to dry her eyes. Finally Rachel said, nearly whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll let them know.”