Post by barbt on Jul 5, 2014 15:27:11 GMT -5
Shivaun had stayed in the hallway, talking with staff and other patients, and she'd heard the boisterous reunion, and then seen Keith leave the room, clearly upset, and duck into the chapel. She was just about to go after him when she saw Maura come out of the room, pause, and then head purposefully towards the chapel and enter it as well. She knew she'd be able to get a report on the situation from Maura afterwards. After a few minutes, the two came out of the chapel and headed back to Ryan's room, Keith looking considerably less distressed.
A few minutes after that, the crowd came out of Ryan's room, Ryan in the middle with one of Keith's arms slung casually over Ryan's shoulders - but judging by the intent, analyzing look on Keith's face, the actual reason for that was anything but casual. Shivaun considered this as she watched. The guys were being what seemed to be their usual rowdy selves, Ryan right along with them, but every time one of them got close to Ryan, Keith's arm would tighten protectively. Considering the general chaos that surrounded him, Ryan was holding up well, but Shivaun would be surprised to hear that he hadn't withdrawn at least once if the evening continued like this. Still, that probably wasn't a bad thing, she mused; if they were going to help Ryan, they needed to know the danger signs.
Maura came up beside her. "Keith's very perceptive," she said. "He's worried that Ryan won't be strong enough to get back to work with them. He's not the only one though, George and Emmet had clearly planned out to protect Ryan when they got to him" and she told Shivaun what had happened in the room and the chapel. "I'd bet you anything," she finished, "that Keith is doing his own version of one of my assessments right now, finding out just how much Ryan can handle."
"No takers," Shivaun laughed. "I agree with you. They are an interesting bunch, no doubt about that! I can see why Mr. and Mrs. Kelly call them 'the boys', they certainly are, but in other ways they are very mature indeed - and it's clear they care about Ryan very deeply. And I think," she added, "that we've just had our first glimpse of the true Ryan. I've never seen him quite that animated."
Maura laughed. "You should have seen what he did to me right before they got here," she said. "I was looking at the cards and pictures on his wall and I asked him why so many of them referred to him as 'Heartbreaker' and 'Dark Destroyer'. He decided to show me!"
"Oh?" Shivaun asked, raising her eyebrows .
"He changed completely," Maura said, shaking her head. " I wasn't looking at him, but when he spoke to me I whirled around because I could have sworn someone else had come into the room. His voice sounded completely different and he almost looked like somebody else - dark and dangerous, arrogant, almost evil, but very attractive - the kind of guy that would take a girl, get what he wanted, and then throw her away without a care in the world, but the girls would still go because they wouldn't be able to help themselves. I would never have thought Ryan had that in him. And then he winked at me and suddenly he was back to the Ryan I know, laughing at me! I could barely see what he changed about his posture and body language when he switched back. It was absolutely amazing."
"His parents told me he plays the 'bad boy' of the group," Shivaun said. "Sounds like he's still got it. That bodes well for his getting back to work, as long as we can get him strong enough to hold up to it."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Keith was doing exactly what Maura had guessed - with his arm around Ryan's shoulder, he could feel if his friend lost his balance or was having trouble keeping up with them. Since it was something he was perfectly likely to do with any of them at any time, it wasn't obvious what he was doing and Ryan wouldn't feel the need to pretend to be able to do more than he could. By the time they got to the van, Keith was much reassured - Ryan had had no trouble keeping up with them or fending off any of the nonsense the other guys threw at him. Something told Keith, though, that it might not be a bad idea to have a second vehicle in case Ryan got overwhelmed or too tired before they were done with dinner, so he decided to take his car and follow the van.
They had a private room at the restaurant, so things really didn't calm down any there. As usual, they all ate heartily, Ryan tucking in with the rest of them. But Emmet, sitting next to him, noticed something odd. Although Ryan had ordered something that Emmet knew he liked, Ryan was paying almost no attention to his food at all, simply scooping up whatever ended up on his fork and eating it.
"Are you really that hungry, dude?" he said. "You're shoveling it in like you haven't eaten in weeks!"
"I didn't," said Ryan, grinning. "Still making up for it, you know?"
"You could at least look like you're enjoying it, then! I don't think you even know what's on your fork!"
Ryan glanced down at his plate sadly, then looked at Emmet. "I don't," he said. "Lost my sense of taste and smell, completely. I've learned to just eat it rather than look at it; if I look at it, I expect to taste it, and then I don't. It's easier this way."
Emmet gaped at him. "You're kidding," he said. It was something none of them had ever considered might be lost - they'd thought about paralysis, balance, speech, but never something like that. It had never even occurred to Emmet that you could lose your sense of taste or smell from a brain injury.
"Nope," Ryan said. "Wish I was, mate. But if this is what I had to lose, I'll take it; better than most other things I could have lost. The docs say it might come back with time, they keep reminding me how short a time it's been since the injury, and how slowly brain tissue heals."
After dinner they were all sitting around with coffee and tea, and the rowdiness continued. Neil, sitting across from Ryan, suddenly noticed that Ryan hadn't said anything for a while and glanced over at him - and then stopped, staring. Ryan was looking straight ahead, his eyes unfocused and blank, no expression at all on his face. Neil was frightened for a second and then realized that this must be the withdrawal that had been described to them. Certainly the noise in the room was enough to overwhelm someone, a few of the waitresses had looked startled when they'd entered. He thought for a second and then realized that the best thing to do would be to rein in the chaos and see if Ryan could come back to them.
"Hey guys," he said, raising his voice to get their attention. "Calm it down a bit. Ryan's phased out on us, it's too much for him."
Everyone stopped talking almost immediately and looked nervously at Ryan, not having experienced this before, but knowing they'd have to get used to it and watch for it if they were to help him get back to the group. Sharon was alert, watching and listening both for Ryan's reactions and how her other performers were reacting to it.
The room stayed silent for what felt like half an hour, but was probably only a few minutes. Then Keith broke the silence. "Dang, that's weird," he said. "Sitting right there, but it's like he's not there at all."
Ryan startled them all by speaking. "I can hear you, you know," he said quietly. His eyes still looked blank and empty, even though he was clearly alert.
They were all curious - they hadn't realized that he could be in this withdrawal and confusion but still able to react and talk to them. It had sounded like a absolute withdrawal when they'd talked about it with Ryan's family, but maybe now that he was getting better it wasn't the same any more. Finally Laura asked, "What's it feel like?"
"Hard to describe," Ryan answered, very slowly, searching for the words. "Like I'm way off in the distance and everything's jumbled up in my head, it's hard to make sense of anything. Hard to find the words to put together." He paused for a moment, then said, "Sometimes music helps to get things kind of reorganized."
Neil started singing softly, the high, clear, impossibly sweet, almost unearthly voice that only he could produce. And to Neil's utter horror, Ryan burst into tears, buried his face in his hands, and pushed back his chair, trying to run from the room. He never got a chance to even get out of his chair. They were all around him in an instant, standing or kneeling beside him, wrapping their arms around whatever part of him they could reach or around each other if they couldn't reach him. To their further dismay, he fought against them briefly, but then gave in to it and just let himself cry. Eventually, as the tears started to die down, Ryan choked out, "I'm ..sorry. You ..didn't need..to see that."
George said it for all of them. "It's a heck of a lot better than seeing you in that bed, not even knowing we were there. I'll take this, any day. What are brothers and sisters for, if not to help you through stuff like this?"
Neil, who was crying himself, said softly, "I'm sorry, Ryan, I didn't mean..." Ryan reached for him and the others made room, letting Ryan pull him close. "It's OK, Neil. I didn't know it would happen either, but I needed it. I've been trying so hard to stay strong and I haven't let myself get through all that. Hearing you singing, right here next to me, let everything open up and come out. It's good. It's all good."
A few minutes after that, the crowd came out of Ryan's room, Ryan in the middle with one of Keith's arms slung casually over Ryan's shoulders - but judging by the intent, analyzing look on Keith's face, the actual reason for that was anything but casual. Shivaun considered this as she watched. The guys were being what seemed to be their usual rowdy selves, Ryan right along with them, but every time one of them got close to Ryan, Keith's arm would tighten protectively. Considering the general chaos that surrounded him, Ryan was holding up well, but Shivaun would be surprised to hear that he hadn't withdrawn at least once if the evening continued like this. Still, that probably wasn't a bad thing, she mused; if they were going to help Ryan, they needed to know the danger signs.
Maura came up beside her. "Keith's very perceptive," she said. "He's worried that Ryan won't be strong enough to get back to work with them. He's not the only one though, George and Emmet had clearly planned out to protect Ryan when they got to him" and she told Shivaun what had happened in the room and the chapel. "I'd bet you anything," she finished, "that Keith is doing his own version of one of my assessments right now, finding out just how much Ryan can handle."
"No takers," Shivaun laughed. "I agree with you. They are an interesting bunch, no doubt about that! I can see why Mr. and Mrs. Kelly call them 'the boys', they certainly are, but in other ways they are very mature indeed - and it's clear they care about Ryan very deeply. And I think," she added, "that we've just had our first glimpse of the true Ryan. I've never seen him quite that animated."
Maura laughed. "You should have seen what he did to me right before they got here," she said. "I was looking at the cards and pictures on his wall and I asked him why so many of them referred to him as 'Heartbreaker' and 'Dark Destroyer'. He decided to show me!"
"Oh?" Shivaun asked, raising her eyebrows .
"He changed completely," Maura said, shaking her head. " I wasn't looking at him, but when he spoke to me I whirled around because I could have sworn someone else had come into the room. His voice sounded completely different and he almost looked like somebody else - dark and dangerous, arrogant, almost evil, but very attractive - the kind of guy that would take a girl, get what he wanted, and then throw her away without a care in the world, but the girls would still go because they wouldn't be able to help themselves. I would never have thought Ryan had that in him. And then he winked at me and suddenly he was back to the Ryan I know, laughing at me! I could barely see what he changed about his posture and body language when he switched back. It was absolutely amazing."
"His parents told me he plays the 'bad boy' of the group," Shivaun said. "Sounds like he's still got it. That bodes well for his getting back to work, as long as we can get him strong enough to hold up to it."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Keith was doing exactly what Maura had guessed - with his arm around Ryan's shoulder, he could feel if his friend lost his balance or was having trouble keeping up with them. Since it was something he was perfectly likely to do with any of them at any time, it wasn't obvious what he was doing and Ryan wouldn't feel the need to pretend to be able to do more than he could. By the time they got to the van, Keith was much reassured - Ryan had had no trouble keeping up with them or fending off any of the nonsense the other guys threw at him. Something told Keith, though, that it might not be a bad idea to have a second vehicle in case Ryan got overwhelmed or too tired before they were done with dinner, so he decided to take his car and follow the van.
They had a private room at the restaurant, so things really didn't calm down any there. As usual, they all ate heartily, Ryan tucking in with the rest of them. But Emmet, sitting next to him, noticed something odd. Although Ryan had ordered something that Emmet knew he liked, Ryan was paying almost no attention to his food at all, simply scooping up whatever ended up on his fork and eating it.
"Are you really that hungry, dude?" he said. "You're shoveling it in like you haven't eaten in weeks!"
"I didn't," said Ryan, grinning. "Still making up for it, you know?"
"You could at least look like you're enjoying it, then! I don't think you even know what's on your fork!"
Ryan glanced down at his plate sadly, then looked at Emmet. "I don't," he said. "Lost my sense of taste and smell, completely. I've learned to just eat it rather than look at it; if I look at it, I expect to taste it, and then I don't. It's easier this way."
Emmet gaped at him. "You're kidding," he said. It was something none of them had ever considered might be lost - they'd thought about paralysis, balance, speech, but never something like that. It had never even occurred to Emmet that you could lose your sense of taste or smell from a brain injury.
"Nope," Ryan said. "Wish I was, mate. But if this is what I had to lose, I'll take it; better than most other things I could have lost. The docs say it might come back with time, they keep reminding me how short a time it's been since the injury, and how slowly brain tissue heals."
After dinner they were all sitting around with coffee and tea, and the rowdiness continued. Neil, sitting across from Ryan, suddenly noticed that Ryan hadn't said anything for a while and glanced over at him - and then stopped, staring. Ryan was looking straight ahead, his eyes unfocused and blank, no expression at all on his face. Neil was frightened for a second and then realized that this must be the withdrawal that had been described to them. Certainly the noise in the room was enough to overwhelm someone, a few of the waitresses had looked startled when they'd entered. He thought for a second and then realized that the best thing to do would be to rein in the chaos and see if Ryan could come back to them.
"Hey guys," he said, raising his voice to get their attention. "Calm it down a bit. Ryan's phased out on us, it's too much for him."
Everyone stopped talking almost immediately and looked nervously at Ryan, not having experienced this before, but knowing they'd have to get used to it and watch for it if they were to help him get back to the group. Sharon was alert, watching and listening both for Ryan's reactions and how her other performers were reacting to it.
The room stayed silent for what felt like half an hour, but was probably only a few minutes. Then Keith broke the silence. "Dang, that's weird," he said. "Sitting right there, but it's like he's not there at all."
Ryan startled them all by speaking. "I can hear you, you know," he said quietly. His eyes still looked blank and empty, even though he was clearly alert.
They were all curious - they hadn't realized that he could be in this withdrawal and confusion but still able to react and talk to them. It had sounded like a absolute withdrawal when they'd talked about it with Ryan's family, but maybe now that he was getting better it wasn't the same any more. Finally Laura asked, "What's it feel like?"
"Hard to describe," Ryan answered, very slowly, searching for the words. "Like I'm way off in the distance and everything's jumbled up in my head, it's hard to make sense of anything. Hard to find the words to put together." He paused for a moment, then said, "Sometimes music helps to get things kind of reorganized."
Neil started singing softly, the high, clear, impossibly sweet, almost unearthly voice that only he could produce. And to Neil's utter horror, Ryan burst into tears, buried his face in his hands, and pushed back his chair, trying to run from the room. He never got a chance to even get out of his chair. They were all around him in an instant, standing or kneeling beside him, wrapping their arms around whatever part of him they could reach or around each other if they couldn't reach him. To their further dismay, he fought against them briefly, but then gave in to it and just let himself cry. Eventually, as the tears started to die down, Ryan choked out, "I'm ..sorry. You ..didn't need..to see that."
George said it for all of them. "It's a heck of a lot better than seeing you in that bed, not even knowing we were there. I'll take this, any day. What are brothers and sisters for, if not to help you through stuff like this?"
Neil, who was crying himself, said softly, "I'm sorry, Ryan, I didn't mean..." Ryan reached for him and the others made room, letting Ryan pull him close. "It's OK, Neil. I didn't know it would happen either, but I needed it. I've been trying so hard to stay strong and I haven't let myself get through all that. Hearing you singing, right here next to me, let everything open up and come out. It's good. It's all good."